|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I am so, so, so, so very busy these days. I wish I could say I have so much to update with—but it would all be a lie. My journal entry would just be like this: MEETING, MEETING, MEETING, CLASS, LATE FOR CLASS, FORGOT MEETING, MEETING, INTERNSHIP, MEETING, CLASS, CLASS, TURN IN EARLY FOR CLASS, MEETING, BREAKDOWN, MEETING, MEETING, CLASS, FORGOT MEETING.
Literally.
Last year I had busy times… but never like this. I am constantly overwhelmed. To the point all my work is compromised and I’ve started overbooking myself because I can’t remember when I have meetings, class or internship bouts scheduled. Most recently I scheduled three things to happen on the same day at 2:15. I’ve also started doing weird sleeping things… like sleep walking or something. I’ll wake up and I’ve closed down my computer or am playing with fish food, but have no idea why. It’s really odd.
I had one or two really embarrassing moments. One was a bit ago with So. Africa. I was in my TV Drama class and I got so worked up because I didn’t know what to do, I just started crying because I was having a panic attack thinking of everything there was to do. This week was the second breakdown, I started crying at my thesis meeting, because I couldn’t answer questions because I feel so lost in ideas. I’m being pulled in so many directions, I can’t keep them straight.
My feature is GOD awful. I fear my class. It’s so, so, so bad. I can’t believe I’ve turned in what I had. I have no idea who the characters are, I don’t know what the tone is. At one point in time, I loved the story, but it’s just gone now. It’s trash. Everyone looks at it and says, “Well your one last year was brilliant.”
ME: Thanks.
For my TV show—oh, I wanted to do something that actually WAS GOOD, but I am just too god damn stupid to think of anything interesting and have no time to catch up on series so I am doing an episode for “Cold Case” which is the most formulaic piece of primetime dreg I have ever seen in my life. I wouldn’t watch it even if I was dying with the flu. Yet, I will waste half a year and thousands of dollars on a class writing an episode for it. It makes me want to vomit and cry.
All in all, this year sucks. I haven’t even seen my friends. The classes are good, but my work is shite, so what does it matter.
Anyhow, that’s about it. The only non-boring-as-snot stories I would have to relate is how Sebastian had ear mites and So. Africa has a psychotic roommate who just made him homeless.
Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut, let’s tell those later.
I think I am going to bed. I am terrified of Friday coming up, we have to talk about my pages and I detest my workshop class. Remember that class? The one which was a haven of love for my last year?
Ha.
Whatever.
suddenly i was @ 05:29 am
(no feathers)
