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Zoo.
What a fun day! Today Adventure and I went on the ultimate adventure. We went to The Zoo.
Last night we had a mini-adventure to the grocery store so we could participate in a promotion from which you could win movie tickets if you spent a such-and-so amount on certain such-and-so products (we did make the grade eventually, the last lemondade totaled us out and won the prize). While on the way home though we decided I would come and retrieve him in the early AM so we might make it to The Zoo right at its opening.
And so I did!
Using my boss “Avoid Highways” directions from Mapquest we took a leisurely Sunday Driver’s drive (in every sense of the word) through Griffith Park before we came upon The Zoo. We waited in an exaggo long line with many, many, many little children all dressed in costume. My favourite was the chubby Batman. We compared our sunkissed tans (my a red-head fair, his an English pallor), he snapped photos of the sign- when we finally got to the gate, paid our admission and were off.
The first order of business was to become completely lost in the Children’s Zoo. We didn’t even KNOW we were in the Children’s Zoo until about 90 minutes later when we left the place, but once we did suddenly all of the interactive games which were only knee-high made so much more sense.
They were for ankle biters!
Still, some interactive things were fun, like the snake petting table. We were something like 5 times older than the rest of the guests, but whatever. The lady let us pet the snake all by ourselves.
Once we escaped the terror-clutches of the Children’s Zoo, Adventure made it know he wanted to see the elephants.
It would be 3 hours before we actually saw an elephant.
We were all over the place. Zoos are as zoos are so there’s not much to report. We spent an age talking to the Meerkats but even longer in front of the Tapirs while we discussed scripts.
Things were a little touch and go in the middle when Adventure held out his hand and said, “I think something bit me.” I looked down and saw a nice pink welt developing. After a bit longer, Adventure suddenly asked if we could sit. We did and he started drinking his water. He kept rubbing his throat and said it was hurting. We would have continued to sit, but the bees were landing in my hair.
ME: I’m not a flower!
We walked a bit more, but he kept saying his throat was tight. He thought maybe if he ate his fruit it would be better, so we sat down while he finished his apricots. Then he said it was worse and it was spreading. I looked at his hand and saw the big pink irritation and I was a little nervous. He’s allergic to one hundred and twelve things and I was slightly terrified he was going to drop over into anaphylactic shock or something, because throats closing up and constricting breathing isn’t a great symptom for a notoriously allergic person to report as having.
We got up and wandered a bit more and decided to get some icecream. – Because let’s face it. Icecream cures all. This bit leads to the second highlight to report- so we’re wandering about with our icecreams. We were in some monkey enclosure and Adventure slurps on his icecream, but somehow in the process, made the most terrific fart noise with his mouth in doing so- well. The sugar of my icecream had gone directly to my brain and I couldn’t stop laughing. I seriously thought icecream was going to shoot out my nostrils. My giggle fit was on compounded by the fact Adventure was in back saying, “I wasn’t sure if you could hear or if it was just one of those noises you hear up close.”
NOTHING LIKE A FART NOISE, to get me going.
God I couldn’t stop giggling and I still can’t.
What were some other highlights? We were there so long. After a bit we took to making dialogue for all the animals. We did discuss scripts and things. We were there SO long. From open to close, so by the end we were just shuffling along.
I even learned a bit about myself today though.
A. I have to shut up. I think I regaled poor Adventure with more boring personal anecdotes than what was once thought humanly possible.
ME: Boring personal anecdote number 205!
B. There is no butterfly house at The Zoo. Don’t believe the internet. It lies.
When the sun finally began going down and the exhibitions began closing up, we left and embarked on a few quick Goodwill adventures. We went to the tried-and-true Goodwill first where I found two glasses for .69 sense which I needed to own. They have a little penguin on them with some random engrish type of phrase on it like, “Mr. Ping likes a best friend. What are you doing today?” I also found the “Iron Giant” for .99 cents which I bought for Adventure for no good reason other than, “I like you and you need this in your life.”
I love that movie so much.
The second Goodwill proved a little more elusive. We weaved about several winding streets before happening upon it (I pulled into the parking lot the wrong way). There, with T Minus 2 minues to spare, we ran in looking for a TV stand and found one!
We wheeled it out to my tiny car and did one of our clown-car-furniture-will-fit-into-the-Beetle set ups. From there it felt LIKE MIDNIGHT, but it was only 7- damn you Daylight Savings! – but I drove him home, then shot myself off to the grocery store to buy a meal (I haven’t told you all my fridge is dead, have I? I have no fridge. Read: Food) and the gas station (yey for bleeding money).
Now I am home and about to pass OUT. I am so tired! But it was a fun day. Now I have my eyes on the Natural History Museum.
suddenly i was @ 11:17 pm
(no feathers)
friday, october 28, 2005
Adds Charlie Kaufman to celebrity crush list.
suddenly i was @ 01:23 am
(no feathers)
wednesday, october 26, 2005
Today was a magical and embarrassing sort of day.
First! My character biographies went over very well in class. Kind of insanely well. Everyone else wrote out lists and charts and I felt somewhat the dunce because, though I had the charts and lists for my character the body of my bios were two sort of, personal history short stories for my two main characters. I mean, full on prose short stories.
Still I had to read them, so I went at it and started reading.
And reading.
And reading.
Wondering why I wrote so much- and reading.
It felt like story-time, it really did. Everyone was listening and following along, so I got very into it. When I finished there was just this weird quiet. Someone said, “Wow,” and no one else had anything to critique. It was just more quiet mumbling- a spare thought here and there, “So sad and funny, “ “I wish these were the script” and “This is like Roald Dahl.” And that was it!
Later people came up and said, “those were beautiful.”
It was so awkward and unexpected and sort of awesome.
Also, today I was having the most awkward time. I don’t know what my issue was- I think it was hormones. My super happy special time of the month has taken the liberty of just going on FOREVER, which has led my face into believing that it’s a-ok to look like an alligator’s diaper rash. So I have these wily hormones, but also I was running on about 3 hours of sleep.
This combination is deadly.
Deadly.
I just can’t EVEN verbalize the things I was coming up with.
ME: No, I’ll catch YOU later, Mister Man.
It was like watching a one legged lemur try to swing in the trees. At times humorous, but mostly sad. Very sad.
Then there were these other moments. Like I was talking to someone who said something not all that outlandish and I gave the girliest gasp of my life. I mean, we’re talking full on Snow White, hands to mouth, high register inhale with giant eyes. It was so exaggo I think I immediately blushed.
Hormones I’m telling you.
Hormones.
In the meantime I had a series of fun stair scenes with Adventure which I am going to file away for TEH INSPIRATIONS because I thought they were quite amusing.
First, right after class there was this:
AD: I have to run to the restroom.
(this is upstairs)
ME: I have to go to the mail boxes.
(these are downstairs)
AD: All right, see you then.
ME: All righty Heidi.
(depart, move down stairs)
(5 minutes later, I am running upstairs and Adventure is moving downstairs and we meet in the middle)
AD& ME (simultaneous): Well, fancy meeting you he-
(silence)
ME: Har, we’re so hilarious.
From there I ran a bunch of errands on foot. I now know why everyone drives in this place for, hey guys, HOLLYWOOD BOULEVARD SMELLS LIKE FECES. Then it was back up to campus. I was mounting the huge hillside stairs, which wind up this hill in such a manner you can turn your head and see all the stairs below you.
Suddenly, like a mile away I hear my last name sung in this Loony Tunes opera style. I flip around and there’s Adventure, a speck all the way back down. So of course I had to respond by singing his surname in the same manner. Adventure then continued to sing as he climbed up. When he reached the landing where I was, he said, “That was very operatic.” To which I responded, “Very impressive.”
Oh! And this magic moment is just for Sayyes and Jigglykat: today in class we were discussing inspiration and where we might find it. The teacher called for personal examples. Bday raised his hand and said he was inspired by the premises to anime programs. The teacher asked him to give an example and Bday thought and started, “Girl thinks she sees the future…”
On break I saw him in the hall. I walked right up to him.
ME: Bday. Escaflowne?
BDAY: YES.
(breaks into theme song)
ME: Series?
BDAY: God yes, the movie sucked.
Oh magics. He might crew for my group. I hope that’s true because I really need a sane person on set and the only other person I really know on team is Porn Guy Number One, which is so not ok right now.
What else? Mmm. There is a big other thing, but I am too ashamed to share it. I’ve been obsessing over it all night. Speaking of which, it’s lateish. I swore to put myself to bed early, since I have to be at school at 8:30 tomorrow. VOMIT.
Ta!
suddenly i was @ 02:47 am
(no feathers)
thursday, october 20, 2005
Wow, that “telling yourself how your day is going to be” thing really did the trick! After I wrote up my last entry, I ran out to… GET MY BUG.INSERT: Chorus of “woo.”
I am really pleased, it’s so beautiful and newer looking than it ever has been (save for the hit and run door which I couldn’t fix at this time)- but as I was picking it up, first I looked into my rearview mirror of the rental and noticed it was Bday driving behind me. This was highly entertaining, so I continued to wave and smile at him as we were stuck in traffic together.
The at the insurance/body shop shoppe, I looked and noticed I had missed a call from Adventure. I dialed him up and he was looking to go on a grocery adventure. I had missed his call some 20 minutes earlier however and he was now seeking a bus. I told him, “STOP!” – for though I was about to ride down to Nordstrom, adventures are always better.
So I switched out cars and picked up Adventure and it was off to Alberstsons, the happiest place on Earth.
This adventure was really enduro, though, because both of us were shopping! I figure after a night of eating spoiled cheese (I thought once I cut off the mold everything would be ok!) I REALLY needed to hit the supermart.
We went up and down the aisles and had very good conversation. I feel really bad because his group has completely usurped him- they rewrote the entire script without showing or asking him. Then I went into a little bit of overshare because I started to tell him about the males of my crewing shoot. I told them how they teased about porn and stripping and all of this. Adventure asked who it was and I said I wasn’t going to tell because I would be talking bad about people. Then Adventure said if I was made embarrassed it was my right to say who it was- and I said I didn’t want to gossip. After a bit longer Adventure asked again, said he could beat them up- so I said, “JUST FOR YOUR CONFIDENCE” and told him he wasn’t allowed to pass it own (so now, of course, 99 percent of AFI knows because words tend to travel like this) and said names.
Then I sort of launched into a diatribe mirroring some of my more recent posts here, but I have to admit, it’s a little odd telling a male my new current theory on males.
ME: I mean, I guess I have to come to terms with the fact that is all you think about just some are better at hiding it. Maybe you’re hiding it now. I don’t know, but really, I don’t need to go there with people I hardly know.
YEAH. Probably a bit too much confidence today.
Painting picture of self as complete and utter innocent who writes scripts with children, wears skirts every day, enjoys kittens, the zoo and ice cream for ever more- CHECK.
Here are two other funny bits from the Adventure:
A new employee was organizing the balloons by the deli section. Her manager came over and, major O.R., flipped over her choice of display.
MANAGER: Chicken Little next to Batman? What does that say? What are we trying to prove here, where’s the flow?
I was biting my lip trying not to laugh and Adventure and I hid behind the spreads so we could listen a bit more. Then we walked up to the balloons and critiqued them, hoping the manager would hear and let the employee off the hook.
Oh, this was embarrassing. After the balloon incident of ’05, we were laughing at the celebrity gossip magazines.
ME: Tomkat is pregnant?!
When this elderly man walks up and says to Adventure, referring to me-
OLD MAN: Keep reading, you got her smiling, she likes what you’re doing!
(Awkward silence, old man totters off, Adventure flips pages).
ME: And… that was embarrassing.
AD: Had I wowed you with my sensitivity looking at the tabloids?
ME: At least you weren’t talking to me about porn.
And that was my adventure! We came to my place first (because I had ice cream- a CRITICAL freeze item) then I dropped him off. I debated going to Costco (because I have to) but there just wasn’t time- I have a class tonight at 6.
So instead I came home and harassed teh el jayz and also discovered my wipers fluid in my car isn’t spraying anymore.
I think I am going to take a brief nappies now, or it will be nap snap all evening look for this chicken.
CATCH YA ON THE FLIP SIDE GATORS.
suddenly i was @ 06:54 pm
(no feathers)
GRAAWRF.
But am being much more socially acceptable today. It's really rather pathetic, but going off some researches on teh internets, I tried out this "pep talk to self" m.o. this morning.
So walking out to my car this AM I said, "Self."
And my Self said, "Yo, we haven't talked in a while. What's up?"
I took a deep breath and said, "Look, I felt really pathetic yesterday, so today let's really make an effort. When you see someone, go up and talk. If someone invites you to sit somewhere, do. Tell about and when __ talks to you, engage."
My Self considered a moment, then said, "Sure. Ok."
I think it worked a little because when I got to AFI's parking lot, Canada Girl and Adventure pulled in behind me. I waved to them in the car then went to leave, but my Self spoke up, "Making effort now!" So I stopped in my tracks and waited so I could walk with people.
I chit-chatted with them, made all my points including facts about zoo fare (most important) but after the buffet I lost track of Canada Girl and Adventure is sick today, so he was concealed about his person... being sick in the restroom.
I did the awkward social wander and began to stress a bit when I saw my UPM (from this weekend) walk by, "Hot baby! You look great today!" I said. She asked if I would wait in line with her again- and because I had that convesation with my Self, my Self remembered to make me say, "Of course!"
So I waited in line again and wandered about with the UPM. I could tell the awkward social wander was starting up again and the UPM had found a crew to talk to so I flipped a U-ey and found Canadian Lad and Co. on the floor. My Self gave me a stern poke and I walked up and said, "Hello Gentlemen, mind if I join you?"
"No problem!" they returned, but- unforeseen circumstance! - they both went up for more food.
So there I was sitting in the middle of the floor, completely separated from everyone unsure as to whether or not I was supposedly in charge of guarding people's belongings. As I sat there, trying to look like I was busy enjoying the carpet, but secretly angsting- Adventure showed up and said, "Howdy partner" and sat down and things were much better once again. After a moment, people recollected and there was a little motley crew gathered all over again (by the end I was being a little pushed out, but whatev. at that point I went and saved a seat for myself [and my Self]).
My only regret is, I should have conversed with a few more people before darting from the lecture. Oh well. Say La Vee, because I can't spell French things. I will make it up tonight in Craft class where I will GODDAMN SCINTILLATE.
Dang it.
suddenly i was @ 03:17 pm
(no feathers)
Today- or yesterday rather, was such a stupid social day. I will blame it on teh tireds, but I was so morbidly shy. I just couldn’t bring myself to talk to anyone or sit by anyone or anything. I think I spent 90 percent of the day not being near anyone and absolutely terrified. It was to the point, after asking Adventure if I could have my hammer back I went to get into my seat, but another kid was standing there talking with Adventure and someone else. I waited and waited and tried to speak but nothing came out. So finally, much to the amusement of those afore mentioned persons, I just walked in this HUGE CIRCLE around the entire auditorium so I could get to my seat about 2 feet from the kid who was blocking my row.
He said, “You could have pushed me!”
I just replied, “I didn’t want to interrupt, you were engaged in conversation…”
GAH.
Hits head.
Then I just sat totally alone (which ended up being great because I kicked up my feet) and felt lame after. I was invited to sit by someone, but I didn’t (good thing, one of the porn boys was there)- but I even felt bad when I went over to grab my hammer from Adventure’s (oh, I was hanging a picture, this is why I suddenly felt THE NEED for my hammer, besides, he bought one last week) because I felt like I was interrupting some grand social scheme? I don’t know. I kept saying, “if you have plans or something you can just bring it tomorrow,” even though I REALLY intensely wanted my hammer.
Ug. I felt so stupid all day long! I guess it didn’t start out so badly… in the morning I was by Adventure, Canadian and Bday in class and chit-chatting. Then things kind of went awry socially when we had this 4 hour break and I found myself with nothing to do. Actually, the moment the social died was when I was walking down to return my Blockbuster movie and a car drove down the hill filled with definitely Canadian Lad (he was hanging out of the window), Adventure but I am unsure who else because I couldn’t see- I blew them all a kiss and from there on out my day was spent ALONE. I kissed it away!
Perhaps I was too cheeky.
I am such social backtward.
I did get a TON of errands run, however. I braved Glendale and the EXACT road I was on when I crashed to find a bookstore. I am looking for “Girl of the Limberlost,” a book I read in elementary school or middle school--- which apparently is the rarest book ON THE PLANET because no one has it anymore. After that, I walked to the SAME PARKING LOT I spent 60 hours in (I couldn’t drive that was still far too scary) so I could visit a frame store to get a frame for my “It’s A Wonderful Life” lobby card. Then… oh! Then I went to Home Depot for a wall hanging maijg. Then it was home and back to school for a screening of, “Jarhead” – more on that later.
ANYHOW. Today- read: in 3 hours- I am RESOLVED to be a normal social entity. Will go up and join conversations. Will start them. Will FINALLY say a few things which have been on my tongue (examples: I like your hair trim, the zoo is 10 dollars and how is your project; to list a few for various people).
We have this “breakfast” with a French director. It better be a good breakfast. Seriously. I want waffles and pancakes.
suddenly i was @ 08:15 am
(no feathers)
wednesday, october 19, 2005
Omg, "Stand By Me" is based off of a novel by Stephen King?
suddenly i was @ 03:05 am
(no feathers)
tuesday, october 18, 2005
Well the past few days have been interesting. Yesterday was BY FAR the strangest day of the shoot. I was absolutely exhausted- at 8 AM I was given an emergency call from the producer saying we needed coffee and our UPM (who was to pick up our coffee) was stuck in traffic. So in the pouring rain, with dark circles under my eyes and three-day-old unkempt and curling hair, I shoved off in my car to Starbucks. Once on set I took on a number of odd jobs ranging from make-up artist (join me in my chorus of HAR) to Puddle Wrangler.Note: If you want to be REALLY FUNNY, when talking about a giant leak refer to it as “Flood City Arizona.” This is a term we have used in my family since the dawn of time. I didn’t think it was anything special, but everyone I have said it to here doubles over and thinks it’s just this side of HI-larious.
Other than these jobs, it was a. lot. of sitting around. It was a weird day. The first shots of shoot were all M.O.S., which means no sound, so no worries for me as lock-down set whore to run about the place quieting people. After the M.O.S. bits there was an extremely complicated dolly shot which literally took something like 4 hours to set up. I enjoyed this first part of the day because my friend So. Africa (another writer who played the role of sound mixer) would be out and I was saved from the onslaught of male TMI which I was forced to endure. When he was gone the male p.a.’s were up to their old tricks. I was really annoyed by them, let me lay out a few conversations and let me know if you think I am suffering from what one might call a super giant big-time O.R.
CONVERSATION I
GUY: What are your favourite books?
ME: Um. Great Expectations, Antony and Cleopatra, Separate Peace-
GUY: OH I HATE THAT BOOK.
CONVERSATION II
ME: They took my walkie-talkie! I feel stripped of all my power.
GUY (ribbing): When do you feel stripped?
CONVERSATION III
ME: I want to go to the zoo, I love zoos.
GUY (quoting Rocky): I thought only retards liked the zoo.
Those conversations aren’t all from the same male, no worries. The other few things- for example, which annoyed me were as follows: I finally had enough about naked women related stories so I said, “ENOUGH with the naked women.”
One of the guys, teasing like, says, “Ok, you want us to talk about naked men now?”
> insert naked men conversation here <
Then they go on and try to elevate, “Let’s talk about Austen then” and started going on about the new Puke and Prejudice with Keira Knightly. I said I thought she was a terrible cast for Lizzie. The guys wanted to know why, because she’s gorgeous- I said she wasn’t, she was a stick. The UPM (a fellow female) agreed she was flat then the guys turned it around and kept saying I was the pervert for wanting them to always clean it up, but then chose to talk about Knightley’s breasts when I was given the chance to lead a discussion.
UG.
THEN. The worst was when I tried to lay my head down because I was so exhausted and one of the guys came over and started teasing me. I was so pissed.
When So. Africa came out, I always went to talk to him because it was a little bit, “OMG SAVE ME.”
Later, there was a screening and delights beyond delights! – Shades came along! I haven’t seen him in ages. He came with a balloon and we were soon joined by Canada Girl and Canadian Lad. I was so happy. They are all nice and fun. The whole production off became something of a huge social gathering for a while.
Finally, at the end of the day, we wrapped and I helped clean up- soon finding AGAIN I was the last p.a. on set. I don’t know how I manage this. EVERYONE but the principle team (director, producer and cinematographer) has left and there I am still cleaning. I really hope they think I am a decent p.a. because I was always there the longest.
Today I was annoyed again. I spent the night on the floor- though there is some mystery about the matter. I woke up and my chair was on the floor. I don’t know if I fell asleep while working and capsized, or what. – But I had to dart off to set ON MY DAY OFF because my producer needed people to fill up parking spaces. So there I was, back at 8 AM up since 6:30 AM, waiting for class at 10 AM, when I was SUPPOSED TO BE SLEEPING IN.
The morning turned out to be all right. Canada Girl and Adventure were there (Adventure giving C.G. the craziest massage in the universe) so I rejoiced a bit. Adventure had to run off to print out his beat sheets so I ended up talking with Canada Girl about our stories.
I haven’t told you anything of my stories, have I? A week ago I had to pitch ideas for my feature I am to write this year. OMG. I was TERRIFIED. There’s just nothing worse than putting out writing. I can get up in front of people, sing, act, speak. No problem- but giving out your ideas? I don’t know. It’s so private and personal, it’s like you’re opening a little tiny window to your own mind and the fear of rejection increases something ten-fold. Worse, I don’t mind pitching to complete strangers so much as I do to friends. I DETEST sharing this sort of work with friends because a. I feel like I am putting my whole self out sometimes and they don’t need to see this and b. I don’t want to be this complete embarrassment for all those who must bear witness. – And So. Africa and Adventure are both in this class!
Anyhow, I pitched three ideas just because, I don’t know. Just wanted people to have options. One was for a summer camp comedy about a bully and a nerd who bunk together, the other the Italian immigration story and lastly a Midwest drama about two brothers in the 60’s.
Everyone liked the summer camp idea. I was still so attached to my Italian one though, I really- it’s a pet project. EVERYONE wanted the summer camp story though, I hemmed and hawed and angsted over the matter. Going back and forth. I typed up the beat sheets for both. Finally, when talking to one of the porn guys, I told him about my Italian idea and he liked it, I blanched- because I don’t like his taste in ANYTHING (he doesn’t like E.T.!).
ME: OH HELLS NO.
So I went with the camp one.
Today I read off my beat sheet and it went well. Everyone thought the name of the camp (Thwarted Pines- all for you, Shades! ♥) and the name of this moth in the story (The Shepherd’s Warlock) were the funniest things this side of the moon and everyone gave AWESOME feeback-suggestions I never would have thought of on my own.
Adventure said he thought I made the most progress in class and ended up with the best discussion. Woo.
GOD. I wish my classes went on forever, I love them so much. I can’t get enough— screw crewing on things!
Afterward I spent the day mingling. I couldn’t leave the parking lot because my producer said so, so I just talked with everyone. First Adventure (we’re going to the zoo- yays), Shades, then Canada Girl and Canadian Lad- then So. Africa again for a hundred zillion years- and… Canada Girl again. It was fun. At the end of the day I had this “development” meeting about my cycle project. Since not a single word of it is mine I had no interest in saying anything and was literally falling asleep at the desk. I felt quite bad. I was (am) SO EXHAUSTED though, I couldn’t help it.
Anyhow, so that’s my update.
Oh! But guess what? My workshop is going to go see Charlie Kaufman! WOO. My teacher took the initiative and reserved all 7 of us tickets and we got discounts because the Motion Picture Academy, or whatever it is, thinks little AFI students are cute. FINALLY. AFI pays off.
Scream. I am excited to go- and I even have a ride with So. Africa so I don’t have to angst about driving. High-five world!
suddenly i was @ 11:51 pm
(no feathers)
sunday, october 16, 2005
What is wrong with the male species?Today was interesting on set. I took up my same position behind the door and apparently rule the walkie-talkie as I am the only one who seems to hear and understand the transmissions. My on-set career took on a new level as well, however, when in the afternoon I also acted as a stand-in for the actors, which I found entertaining.
So I sat AND stood today.
Later in the morning Adventure and the Girl from Canada showed up from the AIDS walk which happened today. I didn’t get to talk much to either, though Adventure offered me a chocolate-chip cookie.
There was a bit of fun after lunch because for whatever reason, production was halted up because there was trouble setting up a complicated dolly shot. So I was standing around with a bunch of the guys (because 97 percent of this school is male) having a fun conversation about animation. I found out- apparently, the one guy who I had been standing in with was ALSO an animator and went to CalArts, AND! And, knows my very good friend in the graduate program there! I almost screamed when I felt the world shrink a little bit. Just goes to show: L.A. biggest little town in the world.
I was called inside a bit, so I could use my mad P.A. skillz. “Roger, anyone have a 20 on Bob?” “Rolling!” when my phone rang. It was my sister and she was hysterical tears.
Well you know me: the very VISAGE of calmness and I NEVER EVER think the worst—
Yeah. So obvious my heart explodes as I say, “What? What is it?” She can barely, barely make out words to me she sobbing so hard, “Are you ok? What’s wrong? Where are you!?” I call into the phone. I wave down another P.A. to take my post (message from the future, he didn’t at all, so unprofessional) while I ran out the door to talk.
Apparently my sister’s boyfriend left her. It was in a sweet sort of fashion, which made it worse. He basically took her aside and said he loved her so much, but didn’t want to be in a relationship anymore, he couldn’t explain anything and when my sister tried to ask why- she kissed her and left.
So my heart is bleeding because I have no idea how to respond to her when she says, “I loved him so much and now he’s gone!” crying and crying. THANKFULLY my mother at that moment called for her. Moms are much better than even well-meaning sisters in those situations.
Then I go back- find the other P.A. has done me no favors and I sit amongst the only people there, all males. They are going on and on about something stupid when one tries to include me, “What do you think? Would you do Mandy Moore?”
ME: Ha, ha. No, she’s not my type.
Then one turns and says, “Have you even seen a pornographic picture?”
WTF!?
How do you respond to that? If I knew the person from atom, I might joke and if they were a good friend I would totally twist it around- but from someone I barely know? For all I know the conversation is going to turn south and he will follow up with, “Because me and my friend, we have this awesome mini dv cam in his basement…”
ME: What do you think?
Then they kept asking more questions- two guys with a girl, two girls and a guy, which I didn’t really care to discuss with, again, people I don’t know. The one kept coming back to the porn and it developed into, “How about a naked man?”
ME: I went to art school, what do you think we did in figure class?
But again, WTF.
What is it their business?
I was getting more and more uncomfortable and losing faith in the male species as I had to listen to them snigger. Finally the conversation turns to talking about other girls in the class- and that was just about it. I don’t need to know who they think is hot and who they want to see getting it on with whom. I can play being the guy. I frequently like being one of the guys- BUT PLEASE. Have some gentlemanly qualities, let me figure out your LAST NAME first.
Finally I slinked off and listened to a message from adventure on my phone and thought, “there’s a good one” and later So. Africa (also in my workshop, also a writer) came out and I was a little, “THANK GOD” because he is also very, very nice. Then my faith was restored a bit, but yeah-ho. Memo to self: these other guys? Forking pricks.
Well, not Brazil. I enjoy him, he’s nice, he was a bystander anyhow.
BUT, now I am home and must start work, last night I was so tired, I never made it to bed. I put my head on my desk at about 3 AM and next thing I knew it was 7 AM and I was on the floor- never even got into my jammies, just my bathrobe still.
So… yes. Work times!
suddenly i was @ 11:22 pm
(no feathers)
I was on P.A. duty, which at first was quite dull- sans the few stupid go-fer errands I had to run but then developed into something quite fun. I had an earpiece and a walkie-talkie and I was the one to shout, “ROLLING” to quiet everyone off-set and “CUT” to let them know they could chat again. I like having a radio earpiece. Not only does if give you a sense of self-importance, it’s rather fun to talk into it. “Copy, I don’t have a 20 on Bill. Is our producer out front?”
Other than the shouting though, I sat for long periods of time. I wrote and rewrote my angst-worthy beat sheet (note: the initials of “beat sheet” are B.S.) and read the entire script to “All The President’s Men.”
I did get to talk to many people. I think I would like to crew more because it’s such a great way to get to know people. I found out someone who doesn’t like E.T. or Dickens, which makes me die a little bit on the inside.
HIM: Then tell me this, why doesn’t E.T. just touch himself with his magic finger?
ME: … That was so not a place my childhood memories needed to go.
I told him I know an E.T. posse and I am going to have them beat him up.
OH MY GOD. It’s raining so hard! I can’t believe it.
I also met a director who I think is really nice. I always think he is a writer and coming from me you KNOW that’s a huge compliment.
I helped him clean up after we wrapped and I was one of the last to leave.
Anyhow, I have to go write up my B.S. It’s raining loudly.
Here’s what’s not great about shooti: craft service (now called “krafty,” is this industry standard?). Someone I feel being on set allows me to consume as much Fritos as I feel the desire for.
suddenly i was @ 12:42 am
(no feathers)
saturday, october 15, 2005
“There’re a ton of places I’d like to go see: the zoo, the aquarium, the La Brea Tar Pits-“This quote has nothing to do with tonight’s post, but I just remembered it. Obviously it is from one of my adventure days just so back. 48 hours or so later I realize maybe someone wanted to go to Target and I was just too dense to pick up on the hint.
I am SO tired. First, I have to commend myself for being able to function on minimal sleep. How many of you can stay up until 7:30 AM, take a nap for two hours, show up on set and begin construction for almost 9 hours straight? EH!?
Today was fun, even though because of my tiredness I really didn’t talk much. I must come off as the biggest cold fish. My first duty as Misc. Writer On Set Fulfilling Required Set Hours was weathering windows for the bar we were building. Adventure never showed up, but the nice Canadian girl and another Canadian lad (both writers, bee tea double ewe, thereby, both awesome) so we three had at the glass. First we sprayed them down with hairspray and blew dirt onto them, but when Canadian Girl choked on some dust, we opted for a new plan: throwing dirt. The hairspray only held fine particles of dirt so I went outside and found some mud which I rubbed into the window until Canadian Girl became very upset at the noise. Then Canadian Girl was sent off on a different sort of mission, so Canadian Lad and I alone battled the windows. We had a system of hairspraying a spot then hitting it hard with a handful of dirt, but that produced artificial results, so we began flinging muddy water so every dripping and melted. Finally, we ended up making a giant mud pile on the floor, stirring it around with brooms and then using the brooms like giant paint brushes flicked mud onto the glass, caking them with mud and twigs.
Oliver Twist would have been proud of our dingy windows.
We were so proud. All three of us would walk by and check them out and everyone noted their FILTHINESS.
Speaking of which, that mud pile on the floor? Not a joy to clean. As Canadian Lad and I sat there sweeping mud into a dust bin someone walked by and said, “Congratulations, you finally found the worst job at AFI.”
I said only, “I have finally found a visually metaphor for what it’s like being a writer.”
My jobs from there spanned from staining wood and picking up garbage to painting door and out door bathrooms- though I even made an emergency run and picked up the camera for shooting. Which, hi, P.S. weighs more than god.
I am so filthy. I have dirt in every crevice- really. For the next few hours after the window, I would chaw my gum and hear it, “grit, grit, grit” with bits of dirt in my mouth.
I am coated with paint and stain.
Oy vey.
Also, my back is all but blown out. I had to leave the set to buy a first aid kit for the shoot tomorrow, but thank god. I literally was getting to the point when I bent over I nearly capsized.
Anyhow! I think I am going to eat some ice cream, type up some homework notes then – wait, shower first, then homework then I am going to DIE IN BED FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE OR 6 AM, whichever comes first.
suddenly i was @ 12:12 am
(no feathers)
tuesday, october 11, 2005
It was a dark and smoggy night. The orange haze of the city hung low in the sky and the lights of downtown twinkled ominously in the distance. Somewhere, a coyote howled mournfully. Something was going to happen tonight and the very air portended evil.In a small apartment just outside of West Hollywood, two writers were trying to build a bed. Sensitive word artisans by trade, the hands on activity of construction was foreign to them and they plundered away awkwardly into the night.
Soon, the time came to pass when a single bolt and nut had to placed within a wood plank. Easy enough, said one writer as he spun the nut from the bolt and the other writer held the bed’s plank aloft for easy building.
In went the bolt easily enough, just the nut now- no big deal, surely, since the nut had been on the bolt but moments before.
Ca-chink.
The nut fell to the floor. The first writer picked it up and tried again.
Ca-chink.
Ca-chink.
“Hm,” said the first writer to the other, “Seems to be having some trouble.”
Ca-chink.
“Let me try,” said the other writer as she bent over to battle the wily hardware.
Ca-chink. Ca- chink. Ca-chink. The nut just wouldn’t fit the bolt! “Perhaps we confused the pieces,” said the second writer, fishing around the assorted pieces of construction on the floor while the first writer had at the bolt with a file. “Try again,” said the second writer.
Ca-chink.
“It’s times like this I wish my dad were here,” said the first, pulling out a pocketknife to pick at the teeth of the nut.
“Is it the screw part? Is it bent?” the second writer asked, totally perplexed. The two foraged all the other screws and bolts of the floor, testing the nut which, of course, fit them all.
The two sat for a moment biting their lips. What would happen if the nut didn’t fit at all? Where could they go? It was too late for a hardware store- and look at the mess they had made!
“For kicks lets take it out of the wood and try with it plain again,” suggested the second writer.
“Might as well,” replied the first as he slid under the bed frame which the second writer now held in the air.
Once the screw was displaced it endured another battery of tests. Tooth inspection, heat sensitivity, other nuts. Time ticked on, closer to the witching hour. Outside, the night grew still and roads opened up from traffic.
The two writers bent over the finicky piece, using all their mental facilities to out do the bolt. Using his pocketknife as a make-shift wrench, the first writer gave a great twist and the nut screwed on. The second writer cheered and called out, “Congratulations. That was special. I can’t believe it!”
With another cry of hip-hooray, the second writer hoisted the bed frame to her shoulder.
“Finally,” breathed the first writer sliding under to again install the bolt.
The two lowered the frame together, the bolt fit snuggly. Ceremoniously, the first writer took the nut and twisted it on. There was a great uproar of applause between the writers. They had done it! Such joy, such unequivocal bliss, such pride!
Suddenly, something caught the first writer’s eye. He leaned in close to the bolt. “Why is this higher?” he asked, interrupting the second writer’s merriment.
“What?” she asked.
“Why,” started the first again, “Is this so much larger?”
The two writers looked at the bolt, now some two inches longer than moments before. The two writers flipped their heads over to the other side of the room. There was their bolt.
Somewhere in the distance, a stroke of lightening tore across the sky.
“HOW THE HELL!?” they both cried- as a gust of wind blew the windows open and extinguished all of the candles, which somehow at this point were the only means of light in the room. The bolt stared at them, ominously.
“I… how did the other one get into my hand?” cried the first writer.
“I didn’t see you go anywhere near the table,” said the second writer, now quaking with fear.
Another crack of lightening illuminated the room and the organ player upstairs took to practicing his heavy, gothic concerto for the masquerade ball which is taking place in two weeks.
“I guess we have no other choice,” said the first writer, bracing, “We have to start again.”
The first writer pulled over the bolt, this time with the second writer watching him like a hawk. The same order of tests were required: examination, false starts, tooth picking- by both writers. In a last act of desperation, the first writer trying hammering the nut onto the bolt. To no avail.
The second writer told the bolt into her hand. There was no hope. This was it. If the bolt won, there would be no bed and the first writer would have nowhere to sleep at night.
She placed the nut on the end of the bolt and began twisting when the voice of her father came to her, “Apply pressure when you’re twisting it in.”
These sage words had used to guide her in building an Ikea desk, perhaps they would help here too. She turned the bolt in her hand and pulled the nut as she twisted.
“Oh my god,” she started, the first writer looked up from his corner of despair. “I think something good is happening!” She lifted the bolt into the air- the nut now falling steadily into place!
“You did it!” exclaimed the first writer, leaping up. – But their joy swiftly turned to distress as they both turned their heads to the bed frame.
This job was only half finished. They needed the bolt in the wood. It was fast approaching midnight. The bolt was weakened, but should it be given the chance to break free of its nut trappings, its evil would endure. The writers had to act fast.
The second writer lifted the frame again.
“Do you think you can repeat it?” asked the first writer.
“I can’t make promises!” the second replied through her teeth, “You have to do it.”
The writers worked steadily. The time moving closer and closer to the darkest hour of night. The first writer worked fast as the second writer bore the weight of the frame. The first writer’s fingers slipped and the nut tried to topple. He caught it just before it fell.
“Keep at it!” cried the second writer.
The first writer battled the bolt, now infuriated and trying to break free. The bed frame lowered, its weight and the heat of the situation were almost too much for the second writer to bear.
The first writer finally gave a massive last twist of his wrist and the nut spun down the bolt. “It’s working!” he yelled to the second writer.
Before the bolt had a chance to pull a fast one, the second writer then dropped the bed frame to the floor and collapsed next to the first writer.
With a flicker the lights, which somehow have been mysteriously off for the whole evil ordeal, restore themselves and turn on.
The two writers looked at the bolt- which now, too, looks no different from any other bolt you might see about- and knew that this night, they would live to see another day.
After a moment the second writer then commented, “Well, only three more to go.”
True story. It’s based on real events which happened yesterday when I helped my adventure friend build his bed.*
* I left out the part where I screwed up parking with him again and bumped into a parked car. Whoops.
suddenly i was @ 02:17 am
monday, october 10, 2005
I just got another email from my producer talking about our huge argument and how he is worried I have told people about his behavior. I said I only talked to our director (who all ready knew) and my adventure friend (because he was there for the initial questioning anyhow), but in both cases I didn't bad mouth him at all- because I too fear the AFI Rumor Mill ® and understand how things get around like wild fire (take my car accident for instance).BUT it made me really pleased, because my producer said our editor came up to him a few days ago and said he didn't think it was right I was yelled at throughout our entire last meeting. I am SO IN LOVE with our editor right now. I can't wait to find him and thank him and tell him how much it meant to me he noticed then went so far as to mention it.
HEARTS.
(Back to work).
suddenly i was @ 03:44 pm
sunday, october 9, 2005
Today has had to have been one of the GREATEST ever. I can’t remember when I felt so good. Really!It started out slow but with charm with Katy and I camped out on my oh-so-ever-comfortable wood floor watching, “Count Duckula” – the finest British animation ever put to film, I’m sure.
We then wandered off to the small local movie house which is just right down the street from where I live where the price for a matinee was—are you ready kids? FOUR FIFTY.
It hasn’t been that low since home! – The price was unduly wonderful considering the night before we paid a mere 14 dollars for cinema admission. I digress.
At the movie house we saw, “Thumbsucker” which was something of a small hit up at Sundance this past festival. The movie was all right. I thought it had two many narrative strands and fell a bit apart (or, rather, became entangled with itself). The protagonist moves from being addicted to sucking his thumb (at age 17), to a dependency on ADHD drugs, to (lastly) pot. I think the film would have been stronger keeping to one of these addictions. I totally bought the change from thumb to Ritalin, but when he went to pot I was lost—it was weird sort of backward character move. – Unless they were trying to make some point about him becoming addicted to anything as long as it brought him comfort- I don’t know.
I digress again!
This evening, however, was the BEST. My old CalArts pal had invited me to some screening in L.A. proper. Katy and I, her behind the wheel, of course, took off in search of the Disney Concert Hall. There was a bit of traffic, expected, then there was the SUPREME confusion of driving anywhere in downtown Los Angeles. We became so lost we finally pulled over to a gas station, where the attendant couldn’t help us- but a nice homeless man, whose sole purpose was to give directions, for a nominal fee directed us yonder to our seeking’s end.
The screening was quite nice. – By quite nice I mean GREAT. Not so much because the shorts were all brilliant (some were amazing) but I haven’t been to an animation screening in over a year. I sat in that dark room and – how cheesy is this? I felt totally alive! I love animation so much. I have had so much time away from any sort of community around it. I just felt so high and wide. My heart was so full! I felt inspired. It was nice. I haven’t felt like that in… oh, just ages.
Then after the show, Katy, my CalArts friend and her boyfriend left the theatre for idle chit chat; as we were talking I suddenly heard my name and turned. There was a girl whom I had animation classes with in Chicago- RIGHT THERE. I knew she had started graduate school at CalArts, but I never thought I would see her there! We both cried out- the whole lobby turned to face us as we both fell to our knees and hugged each other. My Chicago friend as so happy. She kept hugging me and I hugged her and if you could have seen our spectacle! My friend was shaking and trembling she was so happy. She took my hand (and I took Katy’s) and said, “I have to show you off to my friends!” and I was introduced to other people about the place.
I just can’t believe she was there- I can’t believe I was there with two old Chicago people- one room. You do realize, in these situations, what you’re missing when you don’t have true friends near you; when you meet up with your real friends and it’s just- BAM. It was so great.
Oh me! Katy is out of the shower, we are to watch more films. I will report on the rest of our adventures later, but yes! I had to tell you of this magic.
suddenly i was @ 01:56 am
friday, october 7, 2005
Yeah. I'll have to update you on the producer situation. Suffice it to say, I'm up and watching this. I didn't know they were making it into a film. I think RJ is really cute, yet totally, totally different from how I would have imagined him. The voice list is interesting, but in a good way: Steve Carell, Eugene Levy, William Shatner. And it has one of my most favourite "this has to be in the trailer to get people to come" hooks: the burping mammal. Yeah. Once the squirrel begins burping, you KNOW it's up there on the brilliance-o-meter.
suddenly i was @ 09:19 am
So tonight during class break I was walking alone down the hall when I was rushed from behind by someone yelling out, “YOU.”
It was my producer. He was quite frantic and apparently I was on edge or something because my body went into in instant panic-attack mood. My temperature went up and my heart was booming. He was going on and on about needing help and it was unnerving. He kept dropping to his knees and saying, “On my knees!” and on and on. We were joined by Adventure who stood there watching. I have a huge personal bubble so when people start coming into it I back up. I backed clear to the wall and kept telling me producer, he was freaking me out and what exactly did he need.
Finally I figured he was asking for a ride. I don’t like giving rides. The first ride was somewhere way far off over a freeway. I said no to freeways. Then he had some other place for his computer to be repaired. I asked if there was a place to park. He didn’t know. I said, “I can’t park!” and called upon Adventure to vouch for this to which he responded, “Wait, what are you making her do?”
Finally my producer’s other director pulled him away and I made my escape with Adventure saying, “Call me later and tell me what you want” to my producer and whispering, “I have no idea” when Adventure asked, “What was that about?”
Class ended. Whatever. I get home. Putz. When around 11 or midnight my producer called acting like I had said yes. “I need you to get me at 8:30” “I need to get down there” I kept trying to run excuses: I have a rental. It’s an automatic, I drive manual. I don’t have money for gas. I can’t park. I don’t want to be late for the meeting. Nothing stops him. I was conned into saying yes. It really wasn’t so huge a deal, I just didn’t feel comfortable doing it- which makes me feel like a hypocrite because I totally gave Adventure a ride to Target on Monday or whenever- but even THAT I debated doing. I just am not comfortable driving a strange car to places I haven’t been… right now. I can do it on my own. Sure. Even with Adventure in the car, when we went on our little excursion, I had been there before and at least he’s pleasant to be with- my producer makes me nervous all the time.
Anyhow. So I text message him and say, “Is there anyone else who can give u a ride? I’m a little uncomfortable driving my rental esp. to places I haven’t been…”
I get a call back and my producer is all ready on edge, the conversation starts, “It makes no sense, there’s no one else who can do this, we have a meeting together later, I don’t see what the deal is—“
I come back and say I just don’t like driving around right now, not in the rental. I can’t have anything happen to that car.
Finally I snap a bit and say in an “angry voice,” “Look, I just totaled my car. I’m driving a rental which is automatic, I drive manual, I don’t even know the size of the car well enough to park it-
He comes at me and starts talking about needing the script. “I need the print out of the script. I can read it in the car. I haven’t even had the time to print it out and read it.”
Then he goes on about how he has to go to some internet café to print and how it’s going to cost so much money.
I asked, “Why didn’t you print at school?”
I kept thinking this wasn’t my fault. Which it isn’t. I wrote the drafts two weeks ago and he could have printed in the computer lab like EVERYONE ELSE WITHOUT A COMPUTER DOES.
Finally I just say, “Fine. I will do whatever, but you know you never even asked. You scare me in the hall way then you call and just say, ‘I need, I need, I need’ you have never asked me.”
He says, “There’s no one else who can do this.”
I responded, “Did you ask our director? Our cinematographer? Our ed-“
He EXPLODES and screams at me. I don’t even know what he said. Screams at me- literally screams. Then hangs up on me.
What the hell?
After a bit I called him back, it went straight to voicemail and said, “That was nice.” In an awful bitter voice, “That was nice. Do you still need your ride at 8:30? If you need to talk you can call me tonight, I’ll be up because I get riled when people scream at me over the phone. If you want, you can call me in the morning. I will be up. Thanks.”
There’s been no call back. I don’t know what to do. I am really angry. I am angry because once the initial anger dissipates, I feel REALLY BAD I didn’t just say yes. Even though, I really don’t think I was out of line just saying I felt uncomfortable. HELL. If he had acted NORMAL I would have done it. Like with Adventure, I really didn’t want to make a left hand turn into our school because it made me nervous, yet he really did have to be there and if I went around to make a right, I would have made him late. Did he scream at me when I hemmed and hawed? No. You know he didn’t see what the big deal was with the left hand turn, but he left it up to me and I finally just went and made the turn.
I am SO angry, SO hot and feel so out of line and hypocritical even though I REALLY don’t think I am. It’s 2 AM and there’s no way I am sleeping. I just want someone like my director to talk to me. I want to see if I was out of line—or someone who was standing there when I was accosted first.
suddenly i was @ 03:51 am
thursday, october 6, 2005
OY VEY.I just got back from one of my endure-o 13 hour days. God, those are killer. I haven’t truly updated in a while, so while I am winding down I thought I might give you guys an ear-full.
Let’s see.
After the angst of last week, I spent the weekend nigh upon the seashore with the ever wonderful, Katy. Don’t I have the best family? They came in and rescued me from Hell.A. so I could spend a relaxing weekend “getting away from it all.”
By “relaxing,” however, I mean watching really bad films. First, we went to “Oliver Twist.”
Yeah-heh. That one I was so anticipating because it showed so much promise?
Shh.
Did you hear that? Or at least, did you note the large blank space I left there for you? That’s the sound (and visual aid) of a long, pregnant silence.
The movie, for me, was torture because, for me, Dickens is about character. Beyond narrative, beyond story, beyond socio-economic soapboxes, beyond it all- when you think of Dickens you think of his fantastic characters. Characters so loud and colourful and wonderful in every thread of their make- a person who has never cracked the spine of a book in their life has some notion of the little orphan who asked for more or the witch who holed herself up in a decaying mansion. Dickens is about characters.
Polanski’s most recent adaptation of Oliver Twist is everything Dickensian, but the character. Beautiful rendered, shot well- Victorian London, veritably coming to life on the screen- but sucked dry of any notion of character. The Artful Dodger, who is all about bombastics, dies in the frame. A flat Dodger. He was a character so broad he fell into cartoon caricature, yet there he was, a great waste of space.
Nancy. She a young prostitute, a drunk and helplessly in love with a serial brutalizer of women. Did ONE of these traits come across? No. I mean, I guess we could be made to assume since Nance has 5 inches of cleavage she’s something of a whore- she drinks but no one ever steps aside to make mention of it or how she gets “out of her head” whilst partaking of spirits. Nothing. She doesn’t even say she loves Bill- which doesn’t really matter anyhow because his character was so thin and vapid he was invisible and could be blown away with the slightest gust of wind.
Fagin! The man who directed “The Pianist,” the man who watched his family die in the Holocaust, you would think surely would have an interesting take on the character who has notoriously been cited as being anti-semitic. Nothing. Fagin is a one dimensional nothing with no allure or depth of being.
Terrible. It was terrible to watch. Without vibrancy, Oliver Twist on screen is DEAD. It’s much like licking dry toast.
In other notes: the editing was choppy. When an editing moron such as myself notices the cuts and thinks, “wtf” you know something is up. Scenes cut in bizarre places. A scene with Oliver being beaten by Mister Sowerberry cuts directly to Oliver on the street to London, with no space to fill in the blanks. Show him packing. Moving to London was a huge character decision on Oliver’s part- but we cut straight to the act so we could…
- stop at a pointless peasant house.
- And stop at some old woman’s house.
Scenes which did NOTHING to add to the narrative of Oliver. Random. It hurt because you could feel the days it took to set up those scenes yet knew in your heart had they been cut in favor of showing Oliver think a little and feel bad about running away, it would have been a better film.
Later, watching the credits I noticed one of the pointless peasants was a Polanski, so I guess such answers the question, “Why is this scene here?”
Oh. Right. Family home video.
The soundtrack was invasive at its best and Hallmark movie of the week for the rest of the time. Disappointing, considering Portman’s fine delicate touch with scores such as, “The Cider House Rules.”
All in all, a highly dissatisfactory experience. Don’t waste your money, ever. Just watch the musical or David Lean’s rendition, for this one is a sin against the novel.
After the “Oliver” disaster of ’05, we saw the “Corpse Bride.”
I may as well have been a corpse watching the film. Again, beautiful, beautiful technique- no heart. I was so uninvested in the story, it was painful. For me, watching a good movie is about getting lost. I feel, when I am watching a good film, as though my eyes are wide as saucers the whole time. Hours pass and I don’t even notice. If something touches me I crash back to Earth like a meteor because I have transcended my chair and am somewhere else between the film and Earth and when someone touches me, it brings me back. A good film can do this. “Nightmare Before Christmas” did this. “Corpse Bride” did not. It’s the difference between reading a great novel and the want ads.
So not much else to say. Dead fish on land, though better than Oliver Twist and- oh yes. Danny Elfman. What happened?
After our slew of suxor viewings, Katy, her friend and I turned on REAL QUALITY and watched a short film which is a very, very intensely interesting commentary on the socio-economics of the Southern United States. This film is called: Tiny Toons Adventures: How I Spent My Summer Vacation.
On Monday… what did I do Monday? Ah. We had a stress seminar, telling all fellows how to readily identify symptoms of stress and how to cope with them. It was a little unnerving I could answer “yes” to all of their symptoms.
THEM: Do you have trouble sleeping at night?
ME: Yes.
THEM: Do you have trouble getting up in the morning?
ME: Yes.
THEM: When you do get up in the morning, is it at 4 AM and you can’t fall back to sleep?
ME: Yes.
THEM: Is your stomach often upset?
ME: Yes.
THEM: Have you experienced any weight change?
ME: Yes.
So on.
After the seminar I wandered about with my friend (last introduced as) Shades. We chit chatted, then had bagged lunch together. Wee! While we were eating, Adventure-Friend (Adventure from here on) found me, ready for an adventure.
How he still trusts me to drive I’ll never know since SOMEHOW through the magic of the AFI Rumor Mill® everyone on the planet knows I was in a car wreck.
We went to his bank first. I pulled over (10 miles from the curb) and let him out. I was content to stay but he invited me along, so I actually had to make the parking job decent.
Hi. I can’t reverse in a straight line.
HIM: Just back up.
ME: hitscurb
HIM: A bit too close.
ME: hitscurb
HIM: Too close still.
ME: hitscurb.
HIM: Um.
ME: hitscurb. hitscurb. hitscurb.
Yeah that went on for about 5 minutes. Oh. And we’re not talking parallel parking or anything. No. I was just reversing. I was just having such problems telling how large my rental car was. UG! I was so embarrassed. I got out of the car and told Adventure I will never, ever, EVER drive anyone else but him around because I have to save some face and, obviously, I have no shame in front of him left.
Afterward we went on yet another Target run- mostly to look for a drill. I love these trips. They are really quiet and probably boring- but I enjoy them. There is only ONE other person who I can aimlessly wander grocery-type stores with and that’s Casey. It’s special. You just wander up and down aisles.
We did have some fun though looking at the porch flag section. There was a fantastically ugly one with a frog on a lily pad and text across the top which read:
HIM: What’s that say? Come into my dad?
No. “Come into my pad.” – But oh! Such a lorf.
We also saw a Chihuahua in a Halloween costume.
After Target – we never found a drill, I returned him to AFIdom, he was supposedly going to call at about 7 or 8 so I could give him the rest of his Target items (which were in my trunk) so I went home where I did a little neighbor door knocking to see if I could find him a drill.
At about 9, when I had forgotten I had EVER even gone to Target, the call came.
HIM: Well, if you’re not in your slippers and pajamas you could come here or I can just walk home.
Yeah right. I went and got him. Walking anywhere in the dark here? Psscht.
When I got home, my AWESOME apartment manager called me back and said, “I do have a drill!” So I was able to check off that adventure as, “complete.”
Tuesday was FAB because FINALLY-
FINALLY, FINALLY.
We had screenwriting class. The first part all the writers gathered and we discussed structure. I can’t stand thinking of structure. It really bores me. I know it needs to be known, but when you start breaking down things like story- it’s like breaking down a painting. You shouldn’t have to think as you are writing, “Mmm. I need an inciting incident.” It comes. Naturally. And if it doesn’t? Then perhaps one should reconsider what they are doing with themselves.
I was, however, most pleased because I got to sit at the end of the table with all my favourite people: Bday, Adventure and Shades!
Later we broke into our workshops. I have the only woman instructor, she seems nice enough. There’s a lot. A LOT of boring structure work for our feature scripts, but I think I can handle it. I think my workshop (seven fellows, including myself) is a good one. Adventure is in my group, which makes me a little embarrassed. Marg. I don’t want people I actually know—hearing… my crap.
P.S. Along with Adventure (from Wales) we have a few other accented fellows from South Africa and such. I think our teacher really likes them.
HER: Well, I will be enjoying your accent, that’s for sure.
(That was to Adventure).
Seriously though, she spent like 20 minutes talking to So. Africa, but when it came to my end of the table (I was sitting by the only other girl) I think we had 45 seconds each. SORRY for not having a boss accent (or being male).
After class I went on an adventure by myself. Danger, I know- since the last adventure resulted in my crash. Still, I went out in search of a Bath and Body Works store and found myself here, the biggest shopping centre I have ever visited. A three story Barnes and Noble?!
It was a very, very girly day. I went on a tried on clothes, looked at underwear and bought hair products.
You can bury me in a hole now, but GOD it was fun.
This brings us- FINALLY- to today.
This morning began- as it always does, showing up on the stairs 30 minutes early and sitting with Bday. The first part of the day was spent in my class, “The Great Screenplays.” I am SO excited for this course. It’s nothing but reading screenplays. I think we have… “Adaptation” to read for next week. This was followed by a long lunch break- and, guess what? I was invited to lunch! I went with Bday and a slew of other people, which included the Girl From Canada, a nice Blonde and Shades—among others. It was fun! I didn’t say much at the table or anything, but it was good to go and I also found out: oh. When you actually EAT a meal, you don’t get hungry later in the day.
The next bit of the day we had an advanced screening of, “North Country.” It’s all right. The best part of the movie was its Bob Dylan soundtrack. I spent the whole picture waiting for the song, “Girl of the North Country” to play and when it did- it was not Dylan’s version but a cover. Alas. The rest of the film? This is pretty hilarious. I leaned over to Shades (who was sitting with me) when the film ended and said, “That was totally a glorified Lifetime movie.”
When the director got up for the Q&A, the first thing she said was the story (before she was brought on) was optioned- AS A LIFETIME MOVIE.
I cackled.
Heck yes!
Oh yes, the director was there. Sayyes, it was a little bit of NZ right there in front of me, proud? This director also did (wrote and directed) Whale Rider, so I was really excited to hear her speak.
She was charming. So sweet and wonderful- though she was terrible at answering questions. She rambled on and on- and though I found myself enthralled, I would occasionally think: this is great, but it’s so not answering the question asked.
Honestly. 25 minutes about how she met Bob Dylan.
HER: He wants to buy a diary farm in New Zealand!
She would also take huge enormous pauses then say: “That’s the thing about having a baby- after, whole parts of your mind just go. I have no idea what I was just about to say. I think it was something deep.”
I did like the story about how she rehearsed the actors. Charlize Theron was nervous around the children actors and the children had never really acted before. To create a bond, the director told the kids they were going to throw a party for Theron, so they had to find out what all her favourite things were. So the little kids ran off- found out Theron liked Sushi and was from South Africa, so forth and a few days later threw her a surprise party- just the kids for Theron. They ran at her- had pictures of Africa on the wall for decoration, treats, hugging her and calling out surprise. And that was it! That was all the rehearsal required. The director just wanted them to bond.
I thought that was awesome.
INHALE.
Oh my Christ! <- From the Graduate, bee tea double ewe.
After a dinner break, we were back AGAIN for a screening and discussion of “Citizen Kane.” I love that movie. While I was waiting for it to start, Adventure came by and said, “Howdy partner” and proceeded to tell me he cried during “North Country” which makes my heart bleed.
Shades eventually made it in and sat by me and then we all watched Orson Welles WHO WAS ONLY 25 WHEN HE MADE CITIZEN KANE.
God, I tell you- 24-25. That’s the age. If you haven’t done something by then… Dickens was 24 when he published, “Pickwick Papers.”
And that’s it! You’re up to date. Tomorrow I have one class: “The Craft of Screenwriting.” Something tells me it will be about more structure.
But yes. Good times. So tired. <3
suddenly i was @ 02:43 am
wednesday, october 5, 2005
Oh my lard. I just found out my director was in a car accident. She was out of town, three time zones away and she was in a car accident a day after I was and the same day my producer was. This means 3 out of 3 of the original principle team members of my team were in crashes last week.Is this... odd?
It's either the worst foreshadowing ever or we're all about to bond.
suddenly i was @ 10:16 am
tuesday, october 4, 2005
Oh. My. God.First thing, in case you were wondering: 5,000.00 worth of damage on my car alone.
Yeah.
Second thing, hurrah! I was social again today. Hung around, chit chatted and went on another adventure where I again proved I cannot park (even a crappy rental!) to save my life.
More on all this later, I was just writing to let you know my producer just called and --- what a crazy phone call. It's nearly 2 AM, he's exhausted. Apparently on Thursday he was also in a car accident (last week was AFI car crash week) and then he told me he hasn't slept but 3 hours since Saturday. At first the conversation was normal, then he began falling asleep while talking. This has happened before so I kept repeating: "Go to bed." Then he kept trying to ask me something about Cycle 2, but he was making no sense. I remember freshman year (for undergrad) becoming so sleep deprived I was acting the same way- but had I not, I would have thought he was drunk! His words were slurring a little and he kept asking the same quesion over and over.
ME: You already asked that. GO. TO. BED. Time for bed.
HIM: Time for bed.
ME: Yes.
HIM: Time for bed!
ME: GO TO BED.
Oy vey! I wonder if he will even recall this phone call tomorrow.
List of stories to tell:
Adventure
Thwarted Pines
Links
Boom Lass
Angst
Party
suddenly i was @ 03:49 am