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I just got back from being TOTALLY social. Jazz hands! I went to a comedy show which Shades’ friends were performing in—and before the show, I went to dinner with a bunch of people, two of which I had never met.
Huzzah, for self.
It was lovely!
Soviet Union came and picked me up. I haven’t seen him all summer and I will put your HEARTS AT EASE and let you know, he is just the same as always.
SO. UNION: I’m sorry I won’t be good company. I’m depressed.
ME: Oh?
SO. UNION: I overate when I got home. I came here and gorged myself. I’m going to gorge until August 1st. I’m not going to shave until August 1st. I’ll be reborn August 1st. I chose August 1st because it’s easy to count to.
His latest trauma is he has been saddled with Porn Guy as his writer.
Please.
Take a moment to imagine that.
The phrase, “time bomb” comes to mind.
We got to the restaurant before anyone else—we were waiting for Random Guy (I named this person in a previous LJ post I never published, would you guys like it?), Shades and Shades’ friend who is also a red-head, female writer.
We stood about in front of a bookshop, picking through second-hand novels. So. Union told me about how he spent all his free-time in his visit home in the library.
SO. UNION: I’ve gotten to the point I can tell everything about a book from its cover. I mean, you begin to notice motifs, like, anything with adult sexuality? It has a picture of peach. You know what I’m talking about? One of those ones which looks like a butt. What?
(I’m laughing).
SO. UNION: I saw one that had a cherry, but it required some photoshopping to make it work.
Finally the rest of our party showed and we went to this little… I guess it was an Italian restaurant. Very good. Shades teased Soviet Union all through the dinner.
SHADES: Should we start splitting the check now?
SO. UNION: No, no.
SHADES: Did I tell you about his—
SO. UNION: I know. I gorge. Some people have heroin—
SHADES We went out to get dinner and he ordered like 4 things for himself. It was a little embarrassing because before he was even finished I yelled, “DUDE.” and scared the waitress.
ME: Hey, you did that at that dinner with So. Africa too!
SHADES: How many meals have you had today?
SO. UNION: Ah—
SHADES FRIEND: What did you have for lunch?
SO. UNION: What? Nothing.
SHADES: What was it?
SO. UNION: What? A fiesta platter.
SHADES’ FRIEND: Fiesta platter.
SHADES: Did that come with little tiny guys playing trumpets?
SO. UNION: No, it was just nachos.
I think the highlight of the meal was when So. Union spontaneously leans over to Shades—no one really knows what provoked this conversation, I don’t even think I could type it all out and have it be the same. It started like this though:
SO. UNION: There has one been one time in my life when I asked a girl out for the explicit purpose of getting laid.
SHADES: I don’t know where this is going, but I can say now that this is a terrible idea.
SO. UNION: Rumor had it she was “easy.” Her nickname was--- snort. It was—
(laughs)
SHADES: You can’t crack yourself up before you tell us. That’s not how these things work.
SO. UNION: Dumb Annie!
SHADES: Dumb Annie?
ME: Aw, I wanted something like “crayola.”
I don’t know if I should tell all the details here, because out of context it makes poor Soviet Union sound like such a sleaze…
Who am I kidding, IN CONTEXT he sounded like a sleaze!
SO. UNION: Dumb Annie had a great body. Ga-rate body.
SHADES: I don’t know where this is going, but I can say now this is s a terrible idea.
SO. UNION: So I ask her if she wants to do this photoshoot for me, saying it was for class.
SHADES: You’re not serious. I think this is how Porn Guy works.
SO. UNION: I said it was for class!
SHADES: And she fell for it?
ME: Wait. I’ve seen this Lifetime movie.
SO. UNION: So I got a room.
SHADES: Oh, a room!
SO. UNION: No, like at school.
ME: Airquotes.
SO. UNION: I mean, it's not like it was real-real.
ME: The camera was made of plastic, wasn't it?
SHADES: No. The camera had no film?
SO. UNION: It had film! -- It was just... exposed all ready.
SHADES: You're horrible.
SO. UNION: So after a while I start asking provocative questions because I read somewhere that if you start suggesting sexually things mentally, it gets a woman more –
SHADES: You read way too many philosophy books.
SO. UNION: Well, obviously.
ME: Wait. Could you give us an example of a “provocative question?”
SO. UNION: (silence).
SHADES: No, I have to hear this.
SO. UNION: I don’t know general things like when was your first time –
ME: (cackles). God! That elicited a cackle, I’m sorry.
SO. UNION: Then we built up to what’s your fantasy or whatever and—
ME: And that’s when she started licking his calves.
SHADES: Yeah.
SO. UNION: No, it was really interesting. Anyway, then I had her on my lap.
SHADES: WHAT!? On your lap? What were you doing, just holding the camera out like this?
SO. UNION: Yeah.
SHADES: And she didn’t think anything was weird about it?
ME: Shades, she’s—
SO. UNION and I: Dumb Annie.
SHADES: Jesus. Ok, so you have her on your lap, did you make a move?
SO. UNION: Yeah, I made a move.
SHADES: And?
SO. UNION: What?
SHADES: Well?
SO. UNION: I kissed her neck, whatever.
(Silence, Shades and I share a look).
SHADES: Is that the story?
ME: That’s it?
SO. UNION: Oh wait, no. – So, she’s sitting there and she’s not really into it because she’s all still and that’s just perfect for me—
ME: YOU ARE A CREEP.
SO. UNION: And then this security guard comes in, you know to close up the building.
ME: Because you have been in there for eight hours.
SO. UNION: She bolts up and is out of there.
SHADES: Did you ask her out?
SO. UNION: Yeah.
SHADES: Right there?
SO. UNION: No. Two days. So we go out, right? And I don’t have any money. So I buy her a drink and then I get a glass and tell the waitress to just fill it with water, so then I go back to the table and tell her it’s vodka.
SHADES: I don’t know you.
SO. UNION: No, wait, when I said I got her a drink I didn’t mean I slipped her a mickey or anything.
ME: Oh. Good save.
SO. UNION: But then she sees this other guy that she knows and he sees me and he challenges me to a pool game.
SHADES: Like a duel?
SO. UNION: Yeah.
SHADES: A duel for the honor of –
ALL: Dumb Annie.
SHADES: You lost didn’t you?
SO. UNION: Yeah.
SHADES: And she left with him?
SO. UNION: Yeah. Worse, it was a snow storm in Chicago and my car got buried and I couldn’t remember where I parked.
SHADES: There’s something wrong with you.
SO. UNION: I was a young guy! Come on, like you don’t have stories.
SHADES: Mmm. (stirs dinner).
SO. UNION: Oh god, Lostsailors, I can’t believe I just told you that story.
ME: It was special.
SO. UNION: Worse, for the next year she was asking for copies of the photos!
That was typed up as per the request of Sayyes.
Otherwise, dinner was nice. There was one moment of embarrassing when Shades asked what year I was born in and everyone said I was a baby when I said it out loud. I guess I don’t mind being the baby, but still! I always think it’s funny people don’t think I’m that young.
Oh, one nice thing, Shade’s friend, her mother went to AFI and she said her mother and her AFI friends are still friends to this day and she even married someone she met at the school! Which makes me happy. That means I maybe I will still know everyone.
After dinner we ran to the comedy show. Shades’ friends were good and it was fun to finally see them. He talks about them all the time—they kind of look like Shades. They were good. The act that followed was so hopeless art school it made me want to ralph. Afterward, we ran into W-Bird (whose bday was yesterday) and two other AFI editors. We lingered and bonded, those girls were going to get some juice, So. Union was to join them, but I was tired to I took a ride home with Shades and Co. Before I left though, I put my arms around So. Union and told all the editors and W-Bird that, if So. Union asked them to be in a photoshoot, just say no. Everyone laughed very hard. W-Bird said, “oh, because you’ve been down that path” and I said, “no, because I heard the story first. Maybe he’ll share it with you guys too.”
That’s about it! I don’t know what I am doing tomorrow. Glinda just got back and I FINALLY get to see So. Africa at the start of the week, helping him get his car… I have a hike on Wed. That’s about it.
Oh, I have a post on a brunch and Lost and a hike which I have written but not published, do you guys want it? It involves white-hot pants bathing suits.
suddenly i was @ 04:24 am
(no feathers)
friday, july 21, 2006
HIIIII.Well today was good fun.
Nothing like a little Monster House and a fancy lunch with friends.
Last night I. decided he was going to try and throw a brunch for a few people. It was basically a celebratory event to introduce me to his giant new television which we plan to watch such series as LOST on. The brunch, however, was so last minute it was scrapped until Saturday and instead, today Canada Lad, I. and I went out to lunch and—check this. Monster House.
BWHAHA.
The film was actually not bad at all. I was so completely surprised. The script was really smart and ending going someplace I never, ever, ever would have dreamt up on my own. In these days of my belligerent snobbery, I dislike 96 percent of everything I see because I can plot it out on my own, so when something rolls along and I’m surprised? I like it. And Monster House really… was on a planet of its own. I have no idea who came up with the idea, but… they’re weird. Some of the lines in the movie, I swear it wasn’t even for kids. There was a part where one kid says about the creepy man of the neighborhood, “This is where he must keep his stash…” and his buddy giggles, “Hee-hee, stash.”
The animation didn’t even bother me after a while. Better than the crap that which was Polar Express, certainly and there bits which looked like claymation, which were fun (as I read later, I guess they were actual sets built of foam).
I think the closest parallel I can think of to give you an idea of the type of flick this is, is something like Goonies. Hijinks, crazy adventures with kids and no parents. This best bit is the opening when the main boy’s voice breaks a bit calling to his mom. I thought it was adorable.
But yeah. Who know? It’s worth a viewing definitely. Look, I saw it in L.A. where movies about 98 dollars a bargain-matinee-pop.
We had lunch before the film. I love those guys.
ME: Hi!
I: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
I felt a bit bad because apparently I don’t have scruples any more. Usually I don’t complain about people to people they know, but I am so angry with Adventure these days. I thought the space and time summer vacation offered would chill my tempers, but my bitterness has just appreciated and bubbled over as a seething, noxious froth. I told them how at the end of the year, the scale whirled out of control—how I moved everything from his apartment, the next day took care of his recycling and my car was filled with his belongings. Then how So. Africa had to help me movie everything into storage (that was the straw that broke the camel’s back, when I had to ask So. Africa who I knew wouldn’t say no). Then I got the call about expediting his mail to Wales: I had to write our teacher meet her to pick up a recommendation, get his transcripts then go to his apartment and get his mail. I then shipped into Wales, expedited which cost me over 60 dollars—hi. I still haven’t been repaid, I was sent a check, but we’re getting to that part.
When I got back to L.A. his mail was forwarded to me, it was check from his housing deposit. I needed to deposit it here in the bank for him and if it ever clears, then I can deposit my check.
Needless to say—
BANK MAN: Are you his personal banker?
ME: He likes to think so.
I am sick of it. I am very nice and can’t say no and actually love doing anything I can for people, but that is not pseudonymous with me being a total moron and not seeing when my good favors are being taken advantage of—he couldn’t even remember my birthday. He asked what I wanted before he left and I said a post card from UK.
He couldn’t even swing that.
Anyhow, I had this little rant fest at my boys and they both agreed, using Canada Lad’s phrase, it was “above the call of duty.” I. put it forth the best though, he said he thought Writing Partner and I were good friends. When Adventure had no one else, we were a good support system and really pulled him through when we didn’t have to— it’s not about giving rides or any of this. True friends don’t keep numbers, but it is the seemingly total disregard of the other person’s feelings here. Anything to meet his means. Now is the time to not be tricked into that vortex again. I. said if Adventure starts coming up to me to ask for something to just yell, “NO. I BELONG TO I. NOW.”
And I might. I mean, look at those guys, they are better friends. It’s not just a constant emotional, everything else, suck of energy. I like him lots. We had a ton of fun, but until he can actually show me he is a decent person, not tell me, show me—I think I want a little distance so I can be with people who will help me out when I am in a corner.
Speaking of which.
Let’s talk about how I am half in love with Shades right now.
He gave me a call just to see if I was alive and back in town right after my bumper-kiss. When he found out I was without car, he asked if I needed a ride and so I told him about my internship interview.
The next day, he drove all the way over to pick me up, took me all the way back down to my interview, dropped me off and waited until I was finished so he could take me back.
I am so indebted to him. It was so nice!
Driving there was a breeze. I have no idea where I was before guys. Shades does the trip and it’s two turns and 20 minutes. I do it and it’s a million convoluted detours and 3 hours. I finally found so many things which I knew were near, but I didn’t know where they were: the museum of modern art the La Brea tar pits—oh god. When I said that I went bananas. When I was little my cousbian and I went there… I was… oh I couldn’t have been more than 5! I loved dinosaurs so much and I’ll always remember that place because the gift store had a plesiosaur, which was the only figure I was missing and my parents wouldn’t get it for me!
I told all of this to Shades and super high speed and was so excited had he pulled over, I would have run into the place then and there.
I felt about 11 that entire day. Shades is older than I am, but a bit younger than people like So. Africa, so I don’t know why I felt it so much that day. I think it’s because Shades was trying to be so polite and clearly thinks I am a maiden.
SHADES: You were one of the little kids who had a million dolls, right?
ME: No way! I had dinosaurs and liked bugs.
It’s not that Shades is over-adult, here is how most of our conversations go:
OVER THE PHONE
SHADES: So how is your summer going?
ME: All right. You?
SHADES: All right.
ME: Yeah.
(silence)
SHADES: I got a puppet.
(silence)
SHADES: That’s all I have to report.
ME: What kind?
SHADES: It’s a vampire.
IN THE CAR:
SHADES: I was going to bring the puppet, but I thought he would melt.
Still, for whatever reason, I felt like such a silly GIRL. I think it’s probably in part I think he’s handsome and I’m incapable of acting normal in front of attractive people, no matter who they are.
I think all my twee-weeing has come to some sort of apex though, really. Sometimes I feel so silly when I genuinely get really excited about kittens or a toy or shiny. I was really feeling it that day, I think too because unlike people like So. Africa who have worked in and around things on the internet, I would say something completely moronic and pre-teen like, “O.M.Geez!~” And Shades would ask, “what does that mean?”
Or my personal favorite:
ME: Half my life is spent messing about on with the intraweebs.
SHADES: What are those?
Dear heart!
Sometimes feeling like you are a 13-year-old maiden really comes to the surface. After I came out from my interview, Shades asked if I would like to get ice cream at the farmer’s market because I had never been there.
ME: ICE CREAM! ? not helping maturity levels.
So we drove over and there’s this old lady who walks by with an umbrella for shade.
SHADES: I see everyone around with those.
ME: That’s what I need.
SHADES: But of all people, it would work with you! You could carry a tasseled parasol.
I told you!
At the farmer’s market, Shades said, “No money can leave your wallet!” and wouldn’t let me buy him ice cream. I got watermelon sorbet and we wandered all over the place and made up a story for the location about two compete butchers in a script we will call, “MEAT WARS.” I can’t tell you much else about the story, save that it involves a meat bikini and if you’re lucky Shades will wear it for you on our next hike.
Oh! Guess what else? I am a character in Shades’ script! Well, I’M not, but my name is! He named a character after me, she has my surname, which I think is BOSS. His surname was a character in my last script so we are now script surname soul mates.
Shades then took me home and I thanked him a million times and drew him a card. I can’t believe how good he was to do all that for me, drive all around for my interview. I really, really owe him and I can think of few people so genuinely nice.
What else? Today I also talked to Soviet Union. Told him Shades and I are trying to a get a hike off the ground for this weekend. Soviet Union, as only Soviet Union can, is having trauma because he is being forced to take on a writer and the pickings are SLIM. The school is trying to match him with Porn Guy and he’s frightened and looking for anyone else to help. I told him out of my workshop So. Africa and and I. were my favourite writers and theirs were the best scripts. So. Union really needs to pair up with So. Africa. They are friends. They have worked together before and worked together well (no easy task with Soviet Union!) and So. Africa is one of the best writers and has no thesis commitments! So. Union, however, doesn’t want to force a friend into doing something so stupid. I said—call him, call him—but I think he wants to talk to I.
It’s funny because, So. Union was saying one of the only people he has never talked to is I. because he never seemed approachable.
I. is really shy, but at the same time is always doing something or is really pulled together and hip, so I don’t think people really realize that he is. Most assume he’s snobbish or believes in exclusive cliques. None of this could be further from the truth. I. is one of the most intelligent and generous, sweet people I have ever met. People don’t just take a moment to get to know him. It’s also peculiar, because I have never seen I. that way ever. I can’t ever remember a moment when I felt it was awkward talking to him or getting to know him. One day he just started talking to me and that was that!
Similarly though, I. was talking about So. Africa at lunch, saying that he is one the kindest, gentlest people he’s ever met though most would never know because he’s, “impossible to get to know.” R. thinks he’s downright rude (which is funny because So. Africa thinks she’s great). I guess my situation is a bit coloured, but again, So. Africa has always talked to me about anything, he always had a hug for me. Even at the first of the year, I could just sit down at a table and talk with him for hours. Again, he’s really shy (“Try being over six feet tall and trying to be invisible”), but then other people take it as aloofness and don’t get to know him. In turn, he figures he just can’t crack social circles and figures he will just become a hermit next year.
So. Union is in this sort of pile as well, though shyness isn’t EXACTLY his problem. He has some shy problems, but mostly with girls. He just needs better P.R. People who don’t know him, don’t get him at all.
I just think it’s sad how people don’t get to know each other. I get to know them all and I’m convinced it’s just because I listen to who they are—and they are these amazing people! I can’t believe people in our class don’t know about what So. Africa did during Apartheid or that I. gets so nervous around parties, he plans 4 people get togethers at his house instead. Such a loss! I hope I can convince people to talk a little more with each other next year. No need for hermits!
Speaking of So. Africa, I think he’s here now. I mean, his plane just landed some time ago. His phone was shut down so I will just have to wait to hear from him, but is it a little silly I am way excited to finally see my pal again? I missed him tons!
In closing, yes. There is a god and my thesis film has a site.
Pee Ess, way to hurt my feelers last entry. No one? Bueller?
suddenly i was @ 10:50 pm
(no feathers)
monday, july 17, 2006
HOKAY.Today was interesting.
First, a little back up to talk about how in a feat of ingenuity rivaled only by people like Einstein and guy who invented Velcro, I managed to ruin my car within 24 hours of being back in Los Angeles.
What Happened:
I have an interview for a Sundance internship. I tried MapQuesting the location, but was having all sorts of trouble. It didn’t bring up anything. I thought perhaps it was part of a compound or something, so I decided to go explore for it.
While leaving my house, let it be known, I realized I forgot my phone. This is true. I forgot my phone and thought, “Crap my phone. Should I go back?”
I thought, but then decided, “Naw, what could be so bad I would need a phone? An accident or I get lost but neither will happen.”
Ha.
I got down to the area which is a place called Westwood, which is effing light years away from where I live. I was very, very nervous because I start to have problems when I don’t know where I am. I was breathing weird and my hands were sweating all over the place.
I drove up Wilshire and it became apparent that the 8500 address I was looking for was no there as I was well into the 10300 numbers. I decided it was time to flip around and blow the popsicle stand for another day. I pulled around, but then saw my road was closed going the other direction, so I had to take a detour.
Sos.
I get on this detour. I am on this detour for ages. I was probably out of Westwood. Certainly out of Beverly Hills.
All the detour signs were on the right, so I stayed to the right of the road. Then- suddenly, at an upcoming intersection, there were two signs on the left side of the road. One point straight one turning left. I didn’t know what to do, so I went to turn left. I put on my blinker and was into my lane when suddenly I was hit from behind.
I never saw the car coming until his reflection filled my mirror.
We pulled over and I was in tears. I am always in tears. The guy seemed nice enough. We were trying to sort out our information when a woman ran up saying she saw everything and we could use her as a witness. She gave us her card and said he had come out of no where and I was “totally rear-ended,” which the guy took offense to; he kept saying, “Why are you being so nosey, lady?” And they started to scream at each other.
The woman made sure I was all right and told me it was all right, I wasn’t at fault and then she left, but not before I asked her where I was.
Side Note: I don’t know why the guy didn’t call the police. I was so confused at the time. I asked if we should and he said no. Probably because he would have been ticketed, but I didn’t have a phone and just wanted to go home.
Finally we packed up to go home. I asked the guy again for directions because I had no clue where I was.
My car still drove, even though I had to use the biker turn signal method. AKA arm-out-window technique. I drove home, crying and crying. I couldn’t stop and it took about a hour to get back I was so far away.
When I got home I started to report the accident, by that point my knee was killing me (I drive about 2 inches from the wheel because my legs won’t reach the pedals for so reason) and my back hurt. My apt. manager is a chiropractor so she told me what to ice. I followed her instructions with a few novel additions of my own: ice cream, Advil and frozen veggies on my head (it was about 900 degrees out). I cried and cried and cried talking to my dad on the phone because I was entering stress-exhaustion apex, then I passed out on the floor and slept until morning.
The next day was full of “TAKE THIS UNIVERSE” adventures, which I will have to regale all y’all on later, because I am on a car angst roll right now.
Today, I had to get my car to the car doctor to be fixed and get a rental. I had an appt. for 3 and thought all would be well. Last time this happened, I just showed up, everything was ready.
Not this time bucko.
They didn’t even have a car on reserve for me.
Then, while running my license and taking my credit card to make a hold-deposit of 250 dollars, the guys goes: “Jeffery Levine?”
ME: What?
GUY: Do you know Jeffery Levine?
ME: No.
GUY: In Philadelphia?
ME: No.
GUY: Do you owe him money?
ME: No, is this on my credit card?
GUY: No, when I put in your license.
What the hell guys. My license was trying to belong to a man in Phily who, I didn’t own money to—but owed money to the government.
That last time I had that much identity fun was when someone tried to use sisters social security number to open a bank account (typo error that was).
Finally I am figured to not be Jeffery and everything is fine until I am pointed to the only car on the lot, a huge SUV which dwarfs even my parents’ 4-Runner. I told him I couldn’t drive it. First, I drive a Beetle. I can’t go from a microscopic car I can’t handle to a Hummer. Second, literally, it would not have fit into my garage.
So, the guy says, we have to go to the other lot.
I am driven to the other lot. It’s in the middle of the ghetto. Normally I don’t like such phrases, but the street smelt like fish and there was barb wire on every fence and an over turned table in every window.
Nice.
They switched employees on me and for reasons I didn’t understand, there wasn’t a decent enough car on this lot either, so we were going to drive to a third lot. I was taken out to a parking lot. I was especially mindful of my flip-flopped feet, hoping to not impale myself on some spent heroin needle. We get out to the lot and stand around for ages. It’s only about 9000 degrees outside with 900 percent humidity, so it’s not like it’s a big deal or anything. Standing on asphalt which smells like fish.
My guy says he doesn’t know where the other guy is with the keys, so he goes in and leaves me in the barbwired lot alone with the car we’re supposed to be taking. I stood around watching a few women scrub the sidewalk, when I called my mom to be extremely vocal about the fact it reeked of fish and I had no clue what was going on—when another employee entered the lot and said, “I know you’re waiting to do something with this car, but I will be right back” – and takes off in the car. So there I was alone in an EMPTY barbwired parking lot which smells like rotting fish.
Finally both the car and the guy reappear. I get into the car and the guy asks, “Wait, what was wrong with this car?”
“The hell if I know” I said. In my mind.
And- I am taken to the third stop of the day on the Enterprise Rent-a-Car Tour from Hell.
The third lot, ironically is about 4 blocks from my house. I almost said, “screw it, I’ll walk” but after such expended effort, sometimes you just want to see the task finished.
We get out and there’s my car. Some strange, but chic 2007 model. I don’t need a 2007! All I wanted was some crappy Focus type of car! This is so new I can’t take it anywhere and it’s still not a compact, but I took it because I didn’t want to have to deal with going to another lot.
So I drove my 2007 with all its internal doodads home and the bigger-than-my-car, automatic gear shift, new vehicle will NOT be leaving my garage. Um. Ever.
Now I am home and need a nap. It’s cooling down, rain is supposed to come. Can’t hurry up fast enough. Earlier today I put a bunch of my clothes into the freezer to see if I could freeze them into being cool.
It was about 8000 degrees when I thought this was brilliant.
I just put them on though and—though I might not be able to have children now, they are very comfortable and freezing, there’s also the added bonus of everything smelling like a popsicle stick. Score.
Oh, and about my internship interview? Shades is a darling dear and is taking me, what a dear!
suddenly i was @ 07:51 pm
(no feathers)
saturday, july 15, 2006
First day back alone in L.A. and my car is completely ruined and rear ended.
suddenly i was @ 06:04 pm
(no feathers)
tuesday, july 11, 2006
My toes: The Greatest Drama Ever Told
Since we are never leaving this house, let me tell you a tale of the bottomless blue...
Yesterday, in our pursuit of being girls, raedances and I went to get our toes done again. I am a My Little Pony. Everything was lovely and the girls there were very nice. Raedances' toes were BEAUTIFUL and lovely. I had an old woman do mine and while the pampering was perfect, the painting was less so. I didn't say anything, because I never know what to do in those circumstances, but let's leave it at this: light pink, white flowers, neon green and pink grass.
I didn't like it.
Really.
Being obsessive, but too embarrassed to return and say I didn't like the paint job, I went to the grovery store thereafter, again with raedances. There I bought ALL the equipment to recreate my toes myself. I had my doubts... but surely a BFA is good for something.
I know I wasn't completely insane. When I showed my mom she said, "those aren't very good, are they?" and I had a few "oh... they're... cute..." answers as well.
Once home I tested out one toe. My least favourite. It was passable, perhaps with practice I could do better, but I believe it more or less fell into the category of "close but no cigar." A strange combination of PMS and travel anxiety left me traumatized by this. I was distraught and felt awful. I was so excited to have new pretty feet for AFI and I was going to show everyone. Worse, I had told people about it and how I loved my pretty toes and what if they looked and it was just that cotton candy mess on my foot? They would think I was a moron! They probably still do... but you know what I am talking about, the superficial disappointment. Where it's not a big deal, but you get hung up on it.
Finally, my mom said she would murder me for my moping and I had to go back and say I was displeased with my service. -- But how could I go back? What would I say about my shorn toe paint? What if the old lady was there again and just redid them again, in the same style? I would be condemned!
So, to fix this, I called the store and when asked who did my feet I said, "I don't know her name, but she's older."
DOH.
When I got to the place, she was busy. WHEW. I told them I went home, moved furniture and ruined my toe. This was a half-lie, half-truth. I did go home, I did move furniture and I did ruin toe. I just didn't ruin it by going home and moving furniture. I did that all on my own.
A bunch of us looked for my original colour and mercifully, not just me pretending, it wasn't to be found. The old lady was just going to fix the one missing toe, but then raedances' lady came over and she took everything off and let me get a new colour!
YAY.
She painted them and made them modest and so pretty. I texted raedances for the occassion. I waited a bit but got antsy because I had to go, so I slipped on my flip flops. Thanked everyone a million times. They said I didn't have to pay and I darted out the door. I got to my car and while getting in I... smashed the same ruined toe and destroyed it.
Yes.
You read that right.
Destroyed it.
I didn't know what to do, I almost cried. I had to call my mom who yelled at me, "GO BACK IN."
ME: Even though I didn't have to pay all ready?
But I did. I figure I am never seening these people again, so I went back in and said, "I'm cursed" and held aloft the offending toe.
Luckily the design was still intact so it was just a touch up. The old lady did it. She's very nice, but painting is not her expertise. Still, MUCH better than smashed-to-hell. So repaired I had something like 3 people help me into my shoe and out the door. I said I would pay, but they said no, it was ok.
So I got into my car, VERY CAREFULLY, put the ac on my feet and now I am not doing anything to endanger them.
There you go. The greatest drama ever told.
And here you thought Hamlet was good.
suddenly i was @ 01:23 pm
(no feathers)
sunday, july 9, 2006
Today was very strange. I woke up and was dizzy. The sort of feeling when you sit up too fast after a period of time. Usually it’s a feeling I can shake, but I couldn’t. I thought I needed food or a drink, but neither helped. It was like walking on air… three inches above the ground and I couldn’t move fast at all and had no strength. It went on all day… what can cause you to be so dizzy? I was out with my mom and finally had to sit because I thought I was going to capsize.Another very strange and sad thing, this morning I was reading the paper, which I really never do. I flipped through the local pages and came upon the obituary section. I wondered to myself, what it would be like to see someone you knew in those pictures—and in 2.5 seconds, I had my answer. There was the face of a kid I went to school with, “Oh my god!” I cried out. I couldn’t believe it. There was his face, his name. He had been the little boyfriend of one of best friends, my dad gave him a ride home once or twice, he was part of my social circle. I mean, I never was close to him, always more of my friends’ friend, but there he was in the paper. Only 24 and two days ago he took his life.
Who would have thought, thinking back on highschool, just a few years after graduation, that boy would be gone like that.
All my condolences to his family. Duncan, may you rest in peace.
suddenly i was @ 03:04 am
(no feathers)
thursday, july 6, 2006
I am so annoyed. I am rewriting my scholarship letter for the third time. The first time, I was given the wrong name to address the letter to. As in: someone literally mispelt the name, so I looked like a moron. I was also told, "this is all about you! tell us where you come from!" So I started over and wrote about me as well as saying thanks. I just got another letter saying I am still addressing the wrong person -- though mind, I have copied and pasted the names each time, I am not making them up and that I have to rewrite my letter because this scholarship was created by the family of an AFI faculty member who died in March. They are in pain and suffering and I have to address that.
"I don't think words could properly express my gratitude. Never have I been gifted such a monetary sum in my whole life
and I am honored to have been chosen for this present. "
"The help this has provided and my gratitude- are immeasurable. "
"I can only hope my work this coming year so pleases and that I might do this most amazing gift justice. Again, thank you
so much."
Don't express anything.
suddenly i was @ 04:01 pm
(no feathers)
monday, july 3, 2006
Hey guys—long time no write. I am such a bore when I am home!
Yesterday was just the best ever though, my mom and I went to a garden party art fair. It was very hot out while we weaved in and out of the stands and tents. They had your token bongo jazz band playing and we had lemonades to drink.
There was all sorts of jewelry. I got a bracelet with these vintage buttons from the 1940’s. You have to see them. They have little caricatures on them. So darling! My favourite is the kitten with a milk bottle. We roamed some more and came upon a woman doing tarot readings. My mom said she would get me one so we both sat down to be read.
The woman went through my mom’s—nothing bad really. Work woes, but that’s about it. As it came closer to my turn I got more and more nervous. Not because I particularly believe, but I’ve never had my cards read by anyone real before! I sat at the table and we drew up the deck. I wonder, when anyone else does tarot— I always have to wave my hand over the spread cards and wait to feel which one is right. I don’t know if I am crazy, but I wav my hand over the deck and suddenly my arm will go cold and when it does, I choose that card.
My reading was amazing. Basically hard work, romance and money. I got all sorts of basic things too—I liked my card for how the world perceives me. She said it was a very fair card. That people see me as very honest and fair, fair, fair, above all else. After the basic read, I was allowed three questions. I didn’t know what to ask so my mom said to ask after my love life. So I did and I was a little disturbed by what the woman said! Mostly because in my spare time I have been reading all sorts of horoscopes for myself and all have said some planet somewhere has moved into some place which has lined me up for teh lurve. All the horoscopes have said it will be a social setting interest, someone from work perhaps which in December becomes real infatuation.
This woman said the same thing! “This is going to be someone from a social circle or someone you know through your work at school”—And because of the events of last month, there is one person who is cropping up in my mind! When she flipped the next card, she almost had a spazz. Got goosepimply and was so excited. She told me this December. It’s something lovely and wonderful. Oh! And she was so excited! Meanwhile, I was in my chair having a heart attack. She also said, “You don’t want to be with the good-looking bad boy, you want to be with someone who is good all the way through.”
That phrase really set me back, because I remembered my letter I wrote and cried on and delivered to someone in June and I remembered a quote in it I later repeated in a phone call and wrote down in my life journal:
SO AF: That was the nicest thing anyone has ever told me.
ME: Aw, well, you’re absolute goodness all the way through.
Then—worse! Or not, but then! She had this card, it was like the two of cups or something… had two people on it with the big medical insignia. What is it called. The hypogryph (caduceus)? But the woman taps the card thinking and says, “Whoever this is, they’ll have some medical background of some sort—like psychology maybe.”
ME: Eep.
For that is what a certain person did before AFI, I’ll tell you what!
I don’t want to say too much more about what she said, but I was really surprised at how much was similar to those horoscopes! I told my mom, it’s not like I believe in those things 100 percent, but now when nothing happens in December, I’m sure going to be disappointed!
Ha, ha. I sound like a loon and obsessed, but I’m really not. All in good fun! We’ll have to see if the tarots really work! Or maybe since I have now told everyone, they wont? Like a star wish?
As to an update in that realm, a reality update, nothing much. Just an email everyday. They end with “<3” everything. We’re making up a movie about a super hero kitten. I don’t know what it means if anything at all!
All I know is my day WAS FUN. Afterwards we wandered more and bought magnets and bundles of lavender. I walked around in the hot, hot sun with those pretty little purple flowers under my nose with my head full of ideas all afternoon.
suddenly i was @ 04:11 am
(no feathers)