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ME: GIGGLES INTO HANDS.
Here is the greatest song of all time. It brings joy to my heart and I have to listen to it 79 times a day.
suddenly i was @ 04:01 am
(no feathers)
saturday, february 25, 2006
OH.MY.
GOD.
What the HELL was up with today?
So insane. I have just been running and running and running since 8 this morning.
Actually let’s back up to highlight –
No. Let’s complain.
My printer, you know the near 500 dollar one? Is broken.
I don’t know why. Or how.
Getting home from class, I was excited to enjoy an afternoon without commitments. I sat down in my chair, on the phone and idly brushed dust off the stop of the scanning portion of my printer. Somehow, the SHEER INERTIA of my finger tips causes the LCD screen, which has never, ever exhibited a problem, to collapse. I was so shocked, I… really. Words cannot express.
I immediately called HP because I was just about to blow a gasket. I called and set up a return/exchange where they are sending me a new one, lovely.
Problem.
They need proof of purchase. A bank statement will do.
Fine.
I type type type away to hellsfargo.com to get my online statement.
Or not.
Apparently Aug of 05 is far too long ago to pull up.
No prob. I love talking to customer service representatives.
First I call credit, because I thought it was on my Visa. A good almost hour there, no. Not on the Visa, I’m told. Let me transfer you to the Debit/Check card people so you can talk with them for 60 minutes.
Over I go. I finally find, YES. On August 24th of 2005 I spent 452.35 on a printer. I tell the representative I need this on paper. Oh, she chirps, I will fax to you.
Um. I don’t have an operational fax machine and even if I did, it’s part of my now defunct printer. I wonder and wonder what to do, when the Debit/Check card people offer to transfer me to the Online people.
Sure, I say and over I go.
There, the Online people, CLEARLY the most helpful—try to set me up to see my backstatements.
ONLINE PERSON: Now you should see a link there.
ME: There’s no link there.
OP: There should be a link there.
ME: There isn’t.
OP: Then you can’t view your statements.
ME: Well how can I?
OP: You can’t.
ME: Can I make the link go there? Do I sign up or register or something? There must be some way to get the link there.
OP: I don’t know.
ME: Thanks.
Mind, all of this has taken about 3.5 hours at this point.
I will call a branch, I think to myself. I need the branch I go to. Down the street.
Type, type, type. I put in my address.
Every bank ON THE PLANET shows up.
Hells Fargo Paris Branch
Smells Fargo Zimbabwe Branch
Balls Fargo Arse Branch
-- But my branch. Down the street. I call some other branch just outside of Turkey and ask if I came in to a branch could they print out my statements for me?
The answer?
Maybe.
Depends.
Maybe “they” could fax it in.
I don’t know who THEY are, but how can THEY have all my statements. What do banks do? Who has my statements? Why can’t I see what I have spent?
So off I go to the bank, to in theory maybe get my statements faxed from “They.”
The teller does all sorts of phonecalls, “They” email her manager my information, she prints and a MERE FOUR HOURS after my afternoon began, I finally had my statement from August 2005.
I ran home, remembered I totally actually had the original receipt because I have OCD (with a memory problem). Took everything and faxed it to HP and set the ball rolling to replace my awesome printer, which is broken.
At this point the sun was beginning to set so I went on a mad fast walk, only to get a call from poor London Girl (my craft partner) who could shop with me because her car was broken and very far away.
GAH. I ran home, jumped into my car and took off for the store.
At this point my brain was going a hundred miles per second because I was thinking about the following:
1. My cycle 3 script. We’re afraid it’s too art film for AFwe’resotraditionalinstructureI. I mean, panicked! I am terrified about what to do.
2. My printer is broken.
3. The fact my phone doesn’t work. The Cingular tower fell over or off a cliff or into the ocean or to the bottom on the Earth, I don’t know. All I know is I can talk for more than 5 seconds without dropping the call or crossing lines and talking to a 2-year-old in Mandarin.
4. The fact I forgot to pick up all my craft supplies from this other producer.
5. The fact craft is TOTALLY not going to fit into my car.
6. My printer is broken.
7. Seven hundred other things, including: “whoops, I forgot about my assignment,” “is she mad at me?” “I have to finish that freelance.”
I got to Costco and started madly shopping—when, who should call? The other producer with my Craft!
<3!
She called and met me at Costco because she said I had helped her so much she would help me. I almost cried. I finished most of the shopping and car packing, but she helped when she could and I got everything I needed from her and now I just love her to death for helping me out.
Then I got a call from London Girl, she was back, with car. I finished up the shopping at Albertson’s, ran to school and packed up her car. From there, the two of us ran to Ralph’s, purchased ice and a coffeemaker and then! Guess what? She bought me a Jamba Juice! Isn’t that lovely?
I am so, so thankful for those two girls today. I am just in love with both of them because I was so stressed and it was so nice to have such kind people about. I also have never had a chance to talk with London Girl before, so it was fun to hang out for just a moment. We were laughing the whole time.
Likewise, Canada Lass called and gave me London Girl’s number and that was also nice, because Canada Lass has never called me before!
LOVE THE FEMALES OF AFI right now.
Anyhow, by the time I got home it was 10 PM. I was just inundated with phone calls—but they would go like this:
Adventure calls, my phone disconnects, I call Adventure back, Old Producer calls (I am crafting for his film), I put Adventure’s voicemail on hold, answer Old Producer, cross lines, switch over to Adventure’s voicemail, hang up, call Old Producer back, Glinda calls on other line…
You get the idea.
It was 15 minutes before I called Adventure back.
That reminds me, I will have to tell you about the lovely adventure I had yesterday with Adventure and his girlfriend. It was a big grocery shop and a thrift store—all our faves! – But for now, it’s almost 1 AM, I am getting up in five seconds for a shoot and I still haven’t had dinner.
So night, night!
suddenly i was @ 02:25 am
(no feathers)
tuesday, february 21, 2006
Time:4 Minutes Before 6.
Yeah.
Answers:
Upstairs neighbor's water heater.
Hot!
Losses:
MY RITZ CRACKERS as starting leaking on food.
At least the Cheezits are safe.
I must listen to Jason Mraz to console self.
On endless repeat.
suddenly i was @ 08:00 am
(no feathers)
What the HELL else does a plumber have to do at 3:50 AM?
suddenly i was @ 05:51 am
(no feathers)
My question.
My manager came down 30 minutes ago and said she was going to call the plumber and would call me once she had it all sorted out with when they were coming.
That was 30 minutes ago.
Do I call again and say, "Um, hi?" because there's a STEADY FLOW in my kitchen now or was she talking metaphorically and really meant she would call me at at a decent hour? Is the plumber calling now? Or can I shower?
suddenly i was @ 05:33 am
(no feathers)
You HAVE to be kidding me.
Hi.
Call me Noah, because my apartment is flooding.
Something is going on in the apartment above me (?) and water is coming down in my kitchen. It's comical and fun because my phone also happens to be on fritz. Luckily it decided to work just long enough to get out an S.O.S. to my manager.
Lovely.
Fabulous.
It's only 3 AM.
I only have class in t-afewhours.
I only haven't showered.
I only want to sleep.
I'm Noah.
And I'm ok.
Drip drip drop, little April Showers...
suddenly i was @ 04:40 am
(no feathers)
saturday, february 18, 2006
I am so randomly excited for this shoot I am doing Craft for tomorrow. First, the Craft will be AMAZING. Chips, granola bars, cinnamon buns, cookies, fruit, cold cuts, cheese-- so much good stuff. I am thrilled too because this producer had 300 dollars in her budget for craft and at the end of all things, we came in at… are you ready? 116.LESS THAN HALF.
TOTALLY High-fives self.
The crew is also going to be awesome. Most notably: So. Africa and Glinda. I am so pleased and happy to have such people around!
Then, then! Super surprise for lunch, they finagled Jamba Juice into catering for us for free. ISN’T THAT AMAZING?! I love Jamba Juice and I can’t tell you how hard it is to get donations from such places.
I am so excited about this shoot which isn’t even mine it’s ridonkulous.
Today was a highly productive day. It began in the morning with screenings, as usual. Adventure and Writing Partner went today—remember the shoot where I was so angstful? Yes. It was that film. Turned out beautifully, but the story was somewhat lost. Oh! And I finally got to meet Adventure’s girlfriend today.
My eyes go HUGE.
ME: Oh my god, there you are! I’ve heard so much about you.
GF: I’ve heard so much about you too!
She’s so pretty and so nice. He once said she reminds him of Lauren Bacall and he’s was right! I only got to talk to her for a moment before I had to take off, but I told her to call me anytime she needs anything or if she ever gets hung up somewhere and can’t find Adventure. Those two might come and visit my Craft tomorrow and I hope they do, it would be awesome.
I forgot the great and amazing awesome story yesterday.
I saw a skunk!
I was walking along the sidewalk when I heard a SSSSSST. I looked up and thought I saw a cat. Very quickly I figured out, however, it was not a kitty.
ME: Hi, there.
The little skunk then wandered off.
Now I know the stinker who stinks up my courtyard every single night! It’s amazing how regular this guy is. I had no idea skunks had… cycles. I thought they sprayed only in distressed. – If that remains true, then Kitty the Skunk must have a nervous disorder.
suddenly i was @ 12:44 am
(no feathers)
friday, february 17, 2006
You know the drill, haven’t proofread at all, way long, comment if you live to the end and win a free shirt!Today was a fun sort of day!
Everything started early when my Cycle 3 team showed up to bid for the soundstage. Happy day, we didn’t have to battle at all because we got it by default because we were the only team to show up in full!
Yay!
I am… almost excited about our Cycle 3. I call it my European Art film. It’s our take of Little Red Riding Hood--- but, god. It’s based on a dream Glinda had and it’s just terrifying.
e.g. The Wolf is a man in the woods. He where’s a suit and is clean cut and crisp… until you get to his feet, which are filthy and black and bare.
It’s just out of control. The thing has become about girl who was sexually abused in some manner by her father. It all very symbolic—
e.g. Riding Hood carries a little match box in which she keeps “her treasures: a pearl, a crystal, a white feather” –
Oh! I can’t even go into it. It’s just really scary and I was really happy because it was the only time I have ever seen a emotive sort of response from the panel.
PANEL GUY: And you will have to discuss with the parents of the girl the scene with the knickers… it’s really, really creepy.
PANEL WOMAN: And the ending, I don’t understand—why did she do what she did?
I am SO glad they were asking questions and such because it shows our 4 page script (YAY) made them think for .5 seconds, enough- at least, to garner a response.
Anyhow, that was a long boring digression about nothing.
For my morning class, the director of “Pet Cemetery” (insert poignant ellipses here) came and talked about genre films. It could have been more interesting, I’m sure, but I was starving. Stark, raving, ravenous starving. I left my food out in my car and I was miserable. My stomach was roaring in protest and I was doubled over, contorting into half-yoga pretzel poses trying to quell the anger within. People kept asking questions though and I was to the point I was just about to gnaw off the arm of the person next to me.
Which was Adventure.
LOOK how skillfully I make a sedge way into the next part of my day.
Adventure needed to get a cel phone for his girlfriend who’s coming into town tomorrow. We had plotted to run the errand over a week ago, but what with his shoots and my schedule, we just hadn’t pulled it together until today. We had approximately 2.5 hours between classes to:
1. Buy a cel phone
2. Cut keys
3. Clean his apartment
Well, that last one was his, I had no intention of cleaning, but whatever. It was on the list. We tore from school to Hollywood and Highland. He zipped off for the phone and I purchased two movies I thought my director should see (“Big Fish” and “Princess Monoke”) the moment we were rung up, we took off for a key cutting place. We had no idea where to look. We thought perhaps Home Depot, but just as we were pondering the possibility, I looked over and saw a little tiny stand which said, “LOCKSMITH.”
We pulled over and explored the creepy parking lot- I told Adventure to run forth while I waited in the car. He did so, I parked, got out only to run into him face to face—he had the key.
We looked at the time. We had been driving all over the place and we’re not really known for our expedient behavior.
We had an hour.
AN HOUR.
Rock!
We were so fast!
With all this extra time, Adventure said if we stopped at his place so he could clean, I could take a nap there or eat a bagel.
Who can say no to that?
So it was off to Adventure’s. I think I have been inside of Adventure’s place a grand total of maybe 2 times before this. You can just never find parking there and, well. Usually we’re at a grocery store, quite frankly.
AD: Ok, you can be in the main room, the kitchen is ok, but the bathroom is off limits, it’s too much of a mess.
ME: Say no more.
We got to Adventure’s and he set about “cleaning” while I sat and was dozey on his couch.
This is how the cleaning was.
AD: Does it smell in here?
ME: Hmm. Not really, just like warm and you. Stuffy.
AD: Hmm. Operation make my apartment not smell bad.
(AD. dumps potpourri into plastic danish container from Albertson’s. I slap my forehead.)
AD: What?
I watched him dart about with little piles of paper. I offered to help a little, but I didn’t really feel I should be cleaning—it was just, well, I could have done a better job! But Ad. stuck to his task.
AD: No… I should do it. I just have to have guests more often. My problem is I never throw anything away. I just move it from one place to another.
He wasn’t lying.
I took the task of opening up the Carbon Monoxide detector we bought at Costco a while back (he wants to make sure everything is safe [to the nth degree] for his girlfriend and friend who are visiting back to back this month) and Ad. got on the floor to clean out under the couch.
Ad. flips sock out. Another sock. Another.
ME: Should I move?
AD: No, I’m kind of afraid of what I might pull out with you here. Hey! It’s my lost shoe!
Then he set to vacuuming his only little rug. A little Snuffaluffagus thing. He was trying to pin it down until finally I asked, “Hey, do you need me to stand on the end of that?”
AD: Oh yeah, I’ve never had two people here before.
ME: Welcome to my sole job when living at home. My mom is always calling to me, ‘hey, could you come here and stand on the end of this rug here?’
I position myself on the rug as does Adventure. I plant my feet then pull them apart so the rug is taught, after a second I suddenly realize I am all but straddling this rug and Ad. is in a similar position. He’s there with his cheap vacuum going and we both start to laugh because it looks ridiculous. Suddenly I nearly topple, I swing my arm around and clock Adventure up the side of his head. Then we both laughed even harder and I almost fell over. It was about then I decided my rug duties were over.
After the cleaning, we watched clips from a film which is similar in tone to his feature and moved his mattress to the floor from his lofted bed.
HOW TO APPEAR INCREDIBLY NAÏVE WITHOUT REALLY TRYING
ME: Why are you putting your mattress on the floor?
AD: … What?
ME: Why are you putting the mattress on the floor?
AD: Um. Because the frame can’t support two people…
ME: Oh. Oh! Oh. Um. Yeah, let’s get this on the floor.
Doink. I knew the answer as I was asking, it was more I thought the floor was too dirty to put a mattress on still.
After the mattress was safely on the floor, we took back off for school
Our first screening of the afternoon was “Transamerica.” I am way tired… too tired to type much up, but this film. Meh. In a big way. It started with a great idea, but just fizzled at the end. The performance by Felicity Huffman was amazing. Really, words cannot express. Absolutely top notch—
HI. It’s a day later. I fell asleep on the floor last night.
-- The performance was lovely but the idea novel, but it just started off high and slowly fell off a cliff. The ending was strange and off base and though I appreciated the Huck Finn type narrative, I felt it lacked a running theme in ways.
After the screening, Adventure and I made a quick run for ice cream. I had Blackberry and learned Adventure can’t pronounce daiquiri.
The second screening was for Terrence Malick’s “New World.” This film was very interesting. VERY interesting. I would suggest it. It’s really odd, how to describe? It’s like an art film. My European friends had transcendent experiences watching it. Does that just a gist? There is hardly any dialogue, most everything was spoken in voice over. The story is the Pocahontas legend.
See it, if just for the photography. Absolutely stunning. Long shots of trees and sunlight and sky and wheat—vast space, SHOT ON LOCATION in Virginia. I didn’t think there was still such undisrupted expanses of nature left in the United States. Everything, 99 percent of the movie is shot without lightening. It’s ALL natural light. When you see such, it will blow your mind. Such beauty.
Just down to the last detail. The film opens with this shot of still water. Slowly, Wagner’s opening to “Das Rheingold” the song, “Thus, We Begin In The Greenish Twilight Of The Rhine—“ which works on a hundred different levels because not only are we beginning in the greenish twilight of whatever this body of water is in the film, but as the movie goes on, bits, more and more of pollen or algae floats down stream—and it’s like gold. – Which is so apropos as well, because the English came thinking they could mine gold in Virginia. Then just to knock you over the head, there is a quick glimpse of a few figures swimming underwater and those Wagner fans in the audience can sit there and scream, “RHINE MAIDENS!”
The acting was so minimal, it’s almost impossible to comment on. They were just props in the landscapes really. The weakest link by FAR was Colin Farrell. I can’t stand him. The story only became interesting for me once he vanished.
In fact, it might do well to mention, for a good hour I was bored with this film. I was bored and yes it was beautiful, but Jesus god Christ. It’s weird though, right about when Colin Farrell left and the man who was to become Pocahontas’ husband appeared, it became a different film for me. I love the second half with my whole heart. By the end, I was almost moved to tears.
SCRIPT READERS IN THE AUDIENCE: It was totally Eva, guys!
Anyhow, that’s all about the film. Really interesting. You won’t see something like this every day, so I would recommend you give it a shot. Again, it’s very different. Not a classic narrative at all—but very… interesting.
The Q&A was fantastic. It was the Cinematographer—who, I think is nominated for the Oscar. He should be, if he isn’t. Oh, he is. I HOPE HE WINS.
He told the best stories about Terrence Malick, who, do you guys know about Malick? He’s like Howard Hughes meets J.D. Salinger of the cinema world. He’s regarded as a genius world-round but only has a handful of films to his name and lives as a recluse. He also went to AFI, which means he made “Badlands” for me.
How nice!
FUN FACT: The writer of “Walk the Line” (Gill Dennis) and Terrence Malick were part of the same AFI class (I think they were also in the same class as David Lynch).
But everyone few moments, Lubezki (the cinematographer) would say, “Terry has this theory…” then he would expound upon whatever theory it was before he stopped and would say, “I say these theories and they’re so boring but when he says them they are like this movie, long and poetic and beautiful, it’s like a song.”
He talked about all these amazing abilities Malick has—
LUBEZKI: He’s so humble, he knows so many languages—he speaks fluent Spanish and didn’t even tell me.
Lubezki is from Mexico
LUBEZKI: He knows the sounds of birds, we would be walking in the woods and he would stop and say, ‘do you hear that? It’s the such-and-so bird’ and the park ranger would stop and listen, ‘oh, yeah…’ and the Terry would say, “oh, it’s mating.”
His memory…
LUBEZKI: He remembers everything. He would call up months later during editing and say I think we need to change scene 49 and use 188 A which is similar to 167 B. What do you think? And we would just have to sit there and say, ‘I can’t remember!’
Note, a million feet of film was shot for this film. A MILLION FEET. He remembers it all.
LUBEZKI: He goes out to the dessert and just walks around for days to see a flower bloom…
And he had an amazing story about this scene, when you see it you will know, a scene wherein John Rolfe is teaching Pocahontas to read. First off, Malick would be sitting behind camera writing the dialogue as they were shooting. But he would have the actress say a line. SCENE 47, now. The actress would say it. AGAIN, he would say. She’d say it. Then he would pan the camera around, film the light. AGAIN. The camera pans back and then he would say, “Now ask, ‘why is the earth in colours?’” (talking about a globe) and as she says this line, he gently has the camera pan to John Rolfe who, as a result of this spontaneous new line, whether it be at the line itself or Malick or the actress, is smiling. It’s totally genuine and real.
Finally after telling everyone all these theories and wondrous stories some fellow raised his hand and asked what films they watched and what music they listen to—
LUBEZKI: Well, Terry knows classical music. All of it and can say Baroque or this… but heavy metal. He likes heavy metal and movies, Ben Stiller movies.
BWHAHAHA. So this poetic, dreamy, ingenious soul who travels to the desert to watch flowers bloom and knows the calls of birds and many languages… likes to rock out and watch Zoolander.
Could that be more amazing?
Do you think Ben Stiller has any idea one of the most enigmatic cinematic geniuses of our time loves his movies?
ME AT COCKTAIL PARTY: Oh Ben, Terry just loved you in “Dodgeball.”
It was amazing. I wish a bazillion times Terrence Malick would come and talk with us. Too bad he is a recluse. But every once and a while he makes random appearances. Once he came and talked to a highschool down the way! We’ve asked, because you think he would be an automatic guest or something, having attended, but everyone says, “NO NO NO NO NO. He is a RECLUSE and he WILL NOT COME.” But then, on stage yesterday Lubezki kept saying, “you have to ask him here he would love to come.”
I think I literally heard the hearts in the audience leap.
ME: Hi Mister Lubezki, could you ask for us?
It was great.
Then I came home and died.
TODAY, however, was nice as well. There was a screening for the Cycle films (Canada Lass’ musical went, it was very sweet). Adventure was very excited because he and Writing Partner were going to pick up his girlfriend at the airport, but somewhere half way through the screening that became angst.
ME: Are you so excited?
AD: Mm.
ME: Mmm? Five seconds ago you were singing.
AD: This screening is going on too long and it’s the one week I need to go. Her plane gets in at 10:30, that’s in 13 minutes.
ME: 13 minutes, are you just going to make her wait there?
AD: Mm.
ME: Can’t you ca—well, I guess you can’t call, no phones on the plane.
AD: Well she doesn’t have a phone it’s international.
ME: Oh yeah, shoot. Can’t you just leave now?
AD: Mm—
ME: That’s right, Writing Partner. I’m sorry. But hey, that’s ok right?
(Adventure shifts and angsts)
ME: What’s wrong?
AD: I just don’t think…
ME: I totally didn’t hear that.
AD: I don’t think anyone believes in me.
ME: DAW. Aw. Come here.
(I give a hug just as Bday and I. walk up.)
BDAY: What’s wrong with Adventure?
ME: He doesn’t think anyone believes in him.
I: I believe in him. I believe I could punch him in the face.
We had a laugh, but I think he was serious. I have no idea what transpired two seats down from where I was sitting, but I guess it was upsetting? Maybe just stress? I meant to email, but I am feeling too lazy and I figure he’s probably better now with his guest!
Now I am talking to Jigglykat about LOST. She is telling me things about the show.
JK: what do you know about the show?
ME: there is a plane and an island and a baby and dom did drugs and a polar bear.
suddenly i was @ 01:57 am
(no feathers)
wednesday, february 15, 2006
I haven’t talked in quite a while! Well talked describing anything of interest. I have just been so busy. Let’s see if I can highlight so I can cut straight to the fun stuff of today!
Well, mostly I have been crewing for people’s films and sitting around battling writer’s block. This past weekend, I crewed on Adventure and Writing Partner’s second film. We were at a beautiful location—someone, please! Come visit so I might take you there. Just three miles beyond AFI and right under the Hollywood sign. It was a lovely little park and if you walked out and looked over the edge, you know what was there? A lake! A reservoir! Oh, just sparkling water and greens all around. I honestly can say I don’t think I have ever seen anything so beautiful in the whole of Los Angeles before.
We stood out there in the sun and we watched the Hollywood sign. We looked at a house which belonged to Madonna in the 80’s. It just lovely. I drew shadows and watched the sun set.
I also have exciting news on the pal front, I think I might finally have one or two female friends here at AFI.
FEMALES!?
WHAT ARE THOSE?
All my friends are male. All of them! It’s strange to me and I miss girls. But the other day when I was feeling down, I ran into Canada Lass and we talked about her feature (which is hilarious, by the way) then she gave me a ride to CBS Studios for this class we had; before though I got to see her place, which was nice. The day before, she was stranded without a car so I had given her a ride—but yes! A little bonding. She reminds me of my sister. I don’t think we would ever be BFF pals, our personalities are so different but she’s just great—and as I said, she reminds me of my sister.
Then there is my director, Glinda, we’re teamed again as you know. But I love her! She’s so great! I love talking to her and we have such similar tastes and everything. While on the AD/WP shoot, she called and I thought it was for business, but then she said, “Oh, no, no, I just wanted to chat” and I almost died- NO ONE has called me just to chat. I almost died! Also.
Guys.
Ok, who here remembers Porn Guy?
Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?
SUMMARY: Back in Cycle One I was crewing and I think I was all but sexually harassed by this loud obnoxious guy who got kicks from asking me things like, “Have you ever seen a naked man?” This guy is Porn Guy. He is a writer and he bugs me. I am cold and evil to him because I know he has no class (after his display), last semester he finally got the message and left me alone.
Well. Last week, early on—I was still really sort of miffed over the Ad Fight of 06. This were really awkward, all sides around and after class I couldn’t hide my feelings because I was tired and upset and I showed it. The ONLY person who noticed was Porn Guy, he asked if I was all right and that was nice—whatever.
SOMEHOW, his witnessing this, my moment of weakness, in his mind means I have given him liberty to start asking me out and talking again. It’s REALLY annoying. At the CBS Studio, he came up to me and started talking.
PG: Hey, are you ok?
ME: Yeah, I’m fine thanks for asking.
PG: What was up?
ME: Oh, nothing, it’s over now.
PG: Want to talk about it?
ME: No, it was personal, just me and a friend.
PG: Oh? What was it?
ME: Personal…?
PG: Come on.
ME: No… it’s… personal, as in I haven’t told anyone at AFI about it… as in, I just don’t want to talk about it right now…
God! He wouldn’t leave me alone. He then followed me around to different groups of people as I desperately searched for someone to save me.
Later, during our next class Porn Guy showed up AGAIN and tried to sit next to me. Thankfully, at that exact moment Adventure showed up.
AD: Hey. That’s my seat.
PG was forced to sit on my other side, but really, thank god there was other company—but all through the film he wouldn’t stop whispering the most inane things in my ear SO loudly, it made my hair move.
Shudders.
And I know I’m not the only one who thinks this is odd, because later I was telling Ad. of my supreme angst and he said he noticed it.
AD: I saw that he was really trying to get into that chair.
ME: Yeah, and it’s not cool.
AD: Aw, you have a stalker.
This gets better though! For not only do I just think the sky of my director, but we have bonded over this.
Porn Guy pursues her as well.
And Glinda is spoken for!
It’s funny, but the two of us have a very similar air about us (I think this is why we work well together).Very similar sensibilities—especially if you are just looking at us from the surface. We both hear, over and over, that we are the “little innocents.”
Porn Guy isn’t interested in me or her, he’s interested in what he thinks we are.
But! Anyhow—the chat call made by Glinda, she was calling to tell me he’s started up again with her as well. First he asked her to dinner and she said no. The VERY NEXT DAY, he gives her a script for her to read and says, “Maybe we can talk about it later” – bleh!
So much bleh!
We laughed and laughed over this (then Maarit asked a very important question, “what happens to Buffy and Angel?” <- she was sick in bed and watching Buffy for the first time ever). This is the sort of thing only another girl can understand at times. Really.
AD: It makes me think, what is he thinking before he picks up the phone? “I’m gonna get me some girl tonight” or is it “I really like her, I hope she likes me…”
ME: Well, if it’s the second one, he shouldn’t be doing it to two girls at once.
AD: Oh yeah…
Today—can you believe this? Today I was walking along with Adventure making plans to try and get his girlfriend a telephone (she’s coming into town in a few days from outside the country, needs come contact means since Ad. will still have to deal with occasional 12 hour AFI days), then he went into the restroom and I turned to leave and BAM. Who’s there?
Porn Guy.
I didn’t know what to do.
I just about turned into the men’s room.
Like, my hand touched the door to go in.
Instead I braved the hallway trying to pretend I didn’t hear the first words out of his mouth.
PG: So, feel like drinks?
No. Emphatically no.
I whipped out and began to text my director. I didn’t look him in the phase at all.
ME: Uh, no… I have to… buy… DVDs…
(Typing into phone: Omg, he’s asking me for drinks)
PG: Oh yeah, for what?
ME: Just… so… my… director can borrow… and…
(Hits send on phone)
The second we crested the hill I ran to Bday, I. and oh, she doesn’t have a name yet. Cat Eyes. Bday, I. and CatEyes.
Ew!
Ew!
And I almost forgot—he wouldn’t bugger off during lunch either! I was with Canada Lass and Adventure and a bunch of other people—people PG never talks to and he sits there with us!
Ag.
Hits face.
So that’s something else I have been dealing with.
Today was Acting Class. I can’t stand and enjoy this class all at once. I have NO idea how it’s supposed to be informing my writing experience.
Example?
Today I did a repetition exercise repeating, “Everyone thinks I’m weird” while balancing books on my head and dribbling a ball.
Uh? Join me in my chorus of double ewe tea eff.
Still it was very fun. We did a mass Musical Chairs sort of repetition exercise early in class. We would pair up, make our observation, repeat back and forth then when the instructor clapped his hands we moved to another person.
Here are some of the observations which were made about me:
“I wish I knew how to quit you” - ha, that was Bday, it was our inside joke
“Your ass was made for porn” - thank you, I.
“You don’t own pants” – CatEyes, she’s right.
“You’re from the Old West”
“You have big hair” – Canada Lass, who also said she was jealous of my hair!
“You have beautiful lips”
That last one was from So. Africa… and it’s funny, but it was just the sweetest thing! It was kind of funny because I was so surprised by it—it was just the most random compliment. I have never heard anything like it in my life. I mean, I was surprised enough my first response was to touch and hide my mouth, though when I went to move I realized I was sitting on my hands. Still, such a kind thing and—I don’t know. It almost made me squee. This is why I love So. Africa, right?
Oi, that class though.
The big drama today was when we started putting people up on stage for the repetition exercise. Our teacher likes to pair up people who look like opposites… or look interesting together. He has a radar for choosing just the person you don’t want to be paired with (which is why I am TERRIFIED I might be paired with Porn Guy). Today, he teamed Canada Lass with Canada Lad. And—oh. Maybe I should type this hear.
Hold on, I’m going to take a vote.
Whatever.
Basically, C-lad carries a huge torch, or carried a huge torch… for C-lass, but the feelings aren’t reciprocal—this is one torch, which isn’t be passed to start the games! It’s very sad and I have no idea what the details are, but I do know those basic facts.
So who does my teacher choose to have to observe things about each other?
Yeah.
YEAH.
Poor Canada Lad. God I felt for him. I mean, I felt for both, but I really know how he feels. He’s so funny and sweet and handsome, I just, well, I just wish the person he liked liked him back! But he struggled up there. He kept muttering, “There’s so much prior knowledge…” (we’re supposed to be “in the moment” and only observe what’s before you and not bring “prior knowledge” of the person to the stage) and he couldn’t get anything out, without revealing how he felt.
“You’re not as confident as you seem.”
“Your smiles aren’t sincere.”
Poor, poor guy. I felt for him. I wanted to hug both very much, but you—well I—my heart always goes to the one who is pining, because that’s my lot in life.
And what else?
Ah, of course! There’s 20 minutes of Valen-thisisn’tdifferentfromanyotherday-tines. This year—I don’t know. Perhaps I have finally become geezer enough that I am irked I am just perpetually alone. It’s just depressing. I don’t know what’s wrong with me and I really don’t need a holiday rubbing it in. Why do lover couples need a holiday to celebrate love? I think the people who are still looking for their place in the world need a day where they get chocolate and flowers, just for making it on their own inertia.
CRANKYPANTS.
This aside, no one remembered me on Valentines, but look at these amazing things which happened:
1. Remember the elusive inflatable E.T. thing I wanted to find for Adventure for the holidays? Yeah? And remember the nice man from iloveet.com? Well!
Today I had an email from him and all it said was: “I hope you’re starting your holiday shopping early…” and had a link to an auction OF THE FIGURE!
Yeah.
I peed with excitement.
2. I got a box in the mail from my cousbian, Jigglykat. – Not just any box, but one which had been lost in the mail for weeks.
It came today, of all days- and had within—a Darth Tater and the entire DVD series of Escaflowne.
Yeah.
I peed.
3. I got a LJ virtual present from Trimalynn! <3
4. My LCD cleaner came in the mail as well—my screen is GORGEOUS.
And that is it—I must be off. Not proofread as usual and—OH!
suddenly i was @ 01:56 am
(no feathers)
monday, february 13, 2006
Today has been the worst day ever. After hours upon hours of just staring at my crap, 9000 percent cliche, boring, piece of shiite, nothing, worthless, stupid script which SUCKS ASS and getting absolutely nothing done (it's 4 AM, I've been working since noon, I have no pages) I just coughed while brushing my teeth.I don't think anyone really wants to know this-- but this is the second time it's happened in the past few days, though this time on my laptop and not my desktop.
Do you know what happens when you cough with a mouth full of phlegm and tooth paste?
Think.
Now do you know what that kind of effect that substance has once SPEWED ALL OVER AN LCD SCREEN!?
I am SO angry. My desktop screen has already been befouled in such a manner, though I tried to clean it and just earlier I was thinking how lovely and clear my laptop screen was-- NO LONGER.
I can't believe how gross I am. I just ordered an LCD cleaner and cloth since apparently I am a walking hygiene disaster.
I am going to go to bed now, I'm going to sleep until 4 PM and wake up in tears when I remember I still have no pages for workshop on Tuesday.
suddenly i was @ 06:17 am
(no feathers)
thursday, february 9, 2006
Cycle 2.Is over.
I can’t believe it.
Today was our screening and the first time I have seen the film put together. It was disappointing to watch because we didn’t fail at certain parts but we absolutely fell short and it was heartbreakingly depressing to see such. The worst of all was our young actor, whom we all knew was not a good performer—but he was god awful. I mean, unbearable to watch. I can see now why my director was reduced to tears one day after shooting. It was also very hard to know we had to lose our one great scene because he couldn’t pull it off.
We went up on the stage and heard all this we knew: the set design was awful and the one actor bad—but then magic things began to happen when we dispersed. All the faculty came up to us… individually and when we were in a group and began complimenting us. The faculty loved it! And even better, it’s like… I don’t know. They saw past all the fussy production details and saw straight through to what we were trying to do.
You know how there’s the emotional core to a piece and then all the glitz which makes it awesome to look at? We fell short on the glitz but we had the emotion and the faculty just saw straight through and found that kernel, that nurgle of emotion.
It also made me so proud to know our script was strong. Things that were missing and missed in the film were on the page. The details people liked in the film, were on the page. It’s true, it’s not on the stage unless it’s on the page and it was ON the page this time! Just goes to show… if you work really hard at a story, it comes.
I mean, these are members of the faculty I had never seen IN MY LIFE. This British mentor guy came up to me specifically:
BRITISH FACULTY GUY: I just wanted to thank you for that piece today. It was absolutely beautiful. I was really touched. I can’t wait to see more work by you, it was really something.
!!
Just all of them were like this. The Senior Mentor, the guy who wrote Cool Hand Luke and such, just went on and on. I think what made our piece stand out was, it wasn’t a perfect 10-minute story for the perfect little short, but tried to do a little more and had an emotional resonance.
COOL HAND LUKE GUY: Thank you so much for finally making a film with some emotional meat to it.
Even in the wrap meetings, it was great to praise my teammembers and it was cool when the editor would say the best part of the team was this partnership right here and point to the director and I.
Amazing! I’ve never been at this end before. Now it’s too bad we have to move on because I don’t think our next one will have quite the same vibe, but wow. Neat stuff. We tried really hard, didn’t quite make it but our intent is seen and recognized.
suddenly i was @ 08:21 pm
(no feathers)
tuesday, february 7, 2006
I am having one of those really bad sort of days.
I just feel absolutely worthless and sad and unnoticed by the whole universe. I know I’m repressing something angstful because I was driving home and I felt just terrible. I went to park and I hit the curb which made me burst into tears and cry and cry and cry. I feel so lonely and stupid right now. It’s times like these I wish I had my close friends near or just anyone I could have come over so it wasn’t just me completely alone in my apartment.
suddenly i was @ 10:13 pm
monday, february 6, 2006
OH MY GOD!What is with the scary people?
I finally went out to get the rest of my things (4:20 AM) and there was some guy!
This guy wasn't as scary. I just opened the front door and he was there and we both jumped a mile and a half, but he apologized, "I'm sorry I scared you!"
I don't think he lives here either though and may have been looking in for the apt. to rent inside-- but JESUS. I left my knife inside this trip, but had I had it... I may have been a murderer! I'm NEVER EVER EVER going outside AGAIN!
Cries.
suddenly i was @ 06:31 am
There is the creepiest man outside of my apartment right now. I went out—and it’s a bit late, near midnight, and I opened the door by the mailboxes and there was this guy. I said, “oh!” to move by and did, thinking he was a neighbor.
I walked quickly to the washers, put in my money, then moved back out into the courtyard. The man was still there, walking along the second floor. Ok… whatever. He could live up there.
Then he saw me and started moving towards the stairs again and I freaked a little because that is what I do, so I moved BRISKLY out to my front place, but he followed after. I whipped around to my door, darted inside and locked all of the locks. I heard him exit and I half expected him to burst up against my door.
Seriously, scared me. I think I’m going to call my apartment manager about it tomorrow.
GAH. Now what am I going to do about my laundry? It’s just OUT THERE.
MY JAMMIES ARE OUT THERE.
If it wasn’t so late, I would call one of the 5 billion males who attend AFI to come and help me because I am afeard of that man out there!
suddenly i was @ 01:34 am
saturday, february 4, 2006
Hokay, hi. Most PMSy day ever.It started at 6:30 when I got up to get to Adventure and W.P.’s set. While we were sitting around chatting in the morning, something pinched some nerve in me and I became very annoyed very fast.
This is how it went.
BACKSTORY: Adventure wanted to leave early. He said it was to work.
WP: What do you have to do?
AD: Work.
WP: Bull shit. What do you have to do?
AD: Conference call.
WP: Conference call, which who? Your girlfriend?
AD: Yeah…
ME: What?
I was really annoyed by this, as I proceeded to tell Adventure because he called me onto this project, kept making a huge point on how I was needed there for this job on the set over and over and I knew he was leaving half-way through the day so I knew at that point I would be soloing it—but I had no idea he was leaving his job for a personal call!
I was so angry. I felt so stupid. I’m not someone’s back up because they want to talk to their GF. I told him that was a lame excuse to leave a job early and he shouldn’t have said it out loud. Going to work was one thing but—
AD; I will work while I’m waiting for her to call! We have a set window…
ME: Well you said you were working, you have to make sacrifices/
AD: I make sacrifices all the time. Haven’t you ever been in love?
That last bit really put over the PMS edge.
Really, really annoyed me.
ME: It’s a B.S. reason to leave your own set early. I’m here longer than you, I have no reason to be here and you are a poor team player.
Then I was left because my craft table has been moved to the set so I have been given the job of just sitting inside, keeping track of things (SNORE) then every 20 minutes I restock.
You could totally tell I touched some nerve in Adventure and then I was cross, because I know I was right but now was feeling bad because I was annoyed for feeling taken advantage of and told the person so and they got annoyed—and I don’t like being upset when it’s not my fault!
But I was angry, I was angry for it seeming like the only reason I was brought out was so there was back up so he could leave to go home to talk to his GF and more cross because he lied to me to get it so—“have to work.”
Rolls eyes.
Lunch came and he sat by me and it was one of those silent sort of conversations.
ME: I’m trying to come up with ideas.
AD: For your feature?
ME: Mmm.
AD: Ah.
…
Finally after a bit:
AD: Well, I’m going to stay.
P.S. Insert feelings of validation here and guilt.
ME: Ah, you don’t have to. You should go call your girlfriend.
AD: No, no, we promised we weren’t going to live each others’ lives.
ME: I’m sorry I was cross, you do know why that came about, right?
[Insert explanation here]
AD: No, no, it’s good to have you here and I’m grateful, I just thought you would be doing more and we would both--- blah blah blah.
ME: Well, you know I will help you with anything. You let me know if you need anything, but that’s what that was about.
Then we walked to the set together and laughed because he scared me with the boom mic. So now all is well again.
WHAT A ROLLERCOASTER.
Ack, I have a coffee pot which is finished and I have to get back to my post.
Enjoy.
suddenly i was @ 05:34 pm
Let me back up.
Hi, I’ve returned from the dead. I sometimes write about my life exploits in this journal?
Remember how back a few days ago, when I heard Alfre Woodard speak how I had an amazing hot flash and came to the conclusion I had developed a fever?
Wee-hell.
The next day, I went Craft shopping with Australia. I am now something of a Craft Service Goddess and so am sought to teach others my ways. We went shopping together and I was to tutor him the entirety of Saturday.
DIGRESSION ABOUT AUSTRALIA:
I love Australia! Not only does he have a fabulous accent, but he is so classically Australian it makes me laugh. I think he’s just absolutely great and I am so glad I had the chance to bond with him over shopping—otherwise we hardly ever get to cross paths, but now we’re pals. YAY <3 CRAFT SERVICE.
END DIGRESSION.
I was so tired Friday, delightful as the shopping was—and crewing the whole day Saturday—I just felt awful! But it was so lovely. So. Africa was on the set, Former Soviet Union <- haven’t mentioned him before, very funny guy.
I mean, there was a moment where I was sitting at my little table while people ate their lunches and I suddenly realized, wow. There I was at a table with four other people: one from Australia, one from South Africa, one from Ukraine and one from Germany. Where else are you going to sit at a table and have all of that around you? All those accents going on at once? It was just amazing.
So. Africa and Soviet Union were my saving graces that shoot. Saving graces in entertainment, that is. So. Africa is just about the most mild mannered, good natured person I have ever met. Extremely soft and well spoken. Soviet Union, however, is possibly a little mad. Very funny—very sarcastic and loves to complain about everything. So. Africa is Soviet Union’s writer.
It’s my other favourite dynamic duo team, second only to WP and Adventure.
This Saturday S.U. and S.A. were the sound team: boom and mixer. I told them I appreciated the symbolism of their being connected together by wires.
ME: It’s like the umbilical cord.
Now I have described to you, briefly, Soviet Union’s personality. Just cantankerous. He totally makes me laugh because he’s so negative. I laugh so much, eventually he starts laughing because he sees how ridiculous he is. Well, Australia and I had bought some cookies for the crew. Soviet Union walked up, saw them and:
SU: Cookies! Is there any milk?
ME: Uh, yeah, in the cooler for coffee.
SU: Can I have some?
ME: Sure.
Soviet Union proceeds to pull up some cookies and pour a class of milk. So. Africa and I watch totally intrigued. Suddenly, Soviet Union looks up—and with a face which is absolutely GLOWING—
SU: Huzzah!
So. Africa and I just laughed and laughed. I have NEVER seen Soviet Union so happy. I didn’t know he GOT so happy. It was so genuine too, it was honestly Bruce-the-Poodle gosh darn cute in a way!
After the day came to an end, I went home. I entered my domicile, started to empty the trash… and some how fell asleep on the floor.
Until 7 AM.
Oh, and I felt like I had been put through the ringer! Just awful, I hurt, I was tired beyond words… but I had to persevere. I had so much work, now was the time to finish!
Once up, it now being Sunday, I showered and prepped an office in my bedroom. I had decided I was going to work in bed on my script. At 7:30, I was ready to go. Laptop set up, breakfast ready to go, notes out on my desk.… I sat on my bed.
And fell asleep.
Until 1.
I woke up and worked a bit, replied to an email from Adventure—until I began to fatigue again. My body was breaking—I was fighting illness and losing. By 3, I was out like a light again.
Until 5.
I woke up, replied to another email from Adventure, worked and went back to sleep at about 8.
Monday was very much the same thing, but with less working and more sleeping. I finally woke up at 8:30 PM and felt better.
By Tuesday, I had developed a fine post-nasal drip cough. Tuesday was also my first Writers’ workshop in ages. I love my class so much. My group consists of: I., Adventure, So. Africa, Eowyn and two people I haven’t nicknamed yet. Lovely, wonderful people. I wouldn’t trade out for anyone. We are all so different in upbringing and living—all write totally different stories, yet are very similar in sensibilities. I love them. LOVE THEM.
The workshop was fine and well, but right after was our new class for this semester. The acting class.
This is the story of how I became the vainest person at AFI.
I had been looking forward to acting, but the more I heard about this class the more terrified I became. It’s a hardnose guy, the teacher, who just wants drama—literally. Tears MUST fall if you want to pass the class. People are to open up and painful things are said.
HE LOCKS YOU IN THE CLASS.
In class, we do this “repetition” exercise. Two people are randomly paired. One will make a “personal observation” about the other. The two then repeat that phrase back and forth to each other.
So—
PERSON A: You look like a cow.
PERSON B: I look like a cow.
PERSON A: You look like a cow.
So on.
I was randomly paired with Writing Partner (me on the inside: YAYS). We went up there and WP was given the lead:
WP: You have pretty hair.
ME: I have pretty hair?
WP: You have pretty hair.
So on. We went back and forth and it was fun. Then my teacher wanted to know how the compliment made me feel. It didn’t make me feel anything because I’ve heard it before so I said, “I’ve heard it before.”
And you should have heard the laugh!
Can you really imagine how vain I looked?
ROLLS EYES.
It might as well have run:
WP: You have pretty hair.
ME: Yawn, I know.
As Tuesday gave way to Wednesday I just started losing my voice. Wednesday the writers of “Brokeback Mountain” came to talk with us for class. It was nice, the male guy—McGurty or whatever, was absent because he caught the flu (“From George Clooney”) but the woman writer/producer was there and it was very interesting. You have to have SUCH dedication to be a film writer. It’s just insane… 8 years she spent with Brokeback. Eight years. Can you imagine spending nearly a decade with a piece of your work? Just blows my mind.
She also cleared up some of the soft spots of the film which bugged me. The flashback and murder vision. Apparently the two were once one in the same. The flashback to seeing the murdered cowboy was more throughout the story, always getting closer but you couldn’t see the face until finally at the end, when Ennis hears about Jack’s death, he imagines back to that time, but suddenly the dead cowboy’s face is revealed and it’s Jack’s.
RANDOM TRIVIA: Joaquin Phoenix was initially slated to play Jack.
After Brokeback and my other class, I gave Adventure a ride home. We pulled up into his alley and there was this figure in front my car; a stranglely (a made up word will only suffice), huge tuft of hair, arms to his knees with a walk which only could be summed in these words said aloud by Adventure: step, drag, step, drag.
AD: I think it’s the missing link.
ME: Oh my god…
The creature would NOT move aside for my car. It just continued, right smack up the middle of the alley. Then it turned its head so we could see its face.
AD&ME: GASP.
ME: It’s the Humanzee!
The gasp was audible, the tone was shocked. The creature WAS a chimp. His jaw jutted out beyond his chest!
AD: I’m scared to get out of the car.
ME: I don’t want to let you out of the car.
AD: Where is he going?
The Humanzee continued up the DEAD END alleyway, to where we knew not. As we watched him head towards nothing, we theorized he was going back to the wormhole in time from whence he came – or maybe even a hell mouth sort of vortex.
Finally Adventure felt safe enough to leave the car, but just as he did, two more Zombie Carnie type folk shuffled up from the back of my car: an old woman with pink pants and a creepy man in a Lakers cap. Both meandering in the same shuffling manner of the humanzee—aimlessly and purposefully towards the back of the alley.
I locked my doors and watched Adventure get into his gate. As I flipped my car, the Lakers cap man stood and smiled at me. Once my car was round about faced the other way, I looked and saw more of the same shuffling people were coming up from the street to the alley.
I freaked.
I drove home and called Adventure. He had run inside to the upstairs and looked out the window so he could watch the scaries.
So now when I pick up Adventure I tell him to say hi to the Zombies.
The next day was Thursday. Thursday was very fun—for it was yesterday and that was the day my teacher bought our workshop tickets to this writers’ panel using a good number of the Oscar Nominees for screenwriting. It was so much fun! I went with So. Africa and Adventure.
Everyone was so charming and so funny and witty. It was just delight on wheels, I don’t even think I can go through all my favourite anecdotes, and maybe no one is interested (say if you are). The 40 Year Old Virgin guy was there and possibly high through the whole thing (he did say 40 Yr Old proved some writers still enjoy reefers).
Seriously he never had anything serious to say. In the middle of a discussion he would jump in:
40 YR OLD: Hey, you know what’s fun?
MOD: Uh, sure?
40 YR OLD: Everything you say, she says.
Everyone looks over to the Sign Language Interpreter.
CRASH WRITER: Really? … Bull shit.
Girl signs this.
CRASH WRITER: Oh my god look at that!
40 YR OLD: Wait, I want to see this: f—king asshole.
Girl signs this. Writers bust up laughing.
It was just such fun.
Afterwards there was a dessert reception, which made you feel pretty cool. You’re just there sipping sparkling wine with strawberries in it at the Writers’ Guild talking with the Oscar Nominees.
Actually scratch that last part—I didn’t feel like mingling, but Adventure got into several circles of power. Almost to a fault, I gave him a horrible time for deserting us (I was half kidding, but I CAN’T STAND when people go off in the middle of your conversation and then just leave you there with their stuff. It’s socially graceless).
ME (when Adventure returned): Hi, I don’t believe we’ve met.
AD: Hi.
ME: Welcome back. You know you really ought to not leave your friends for 45 minutes when you’re in the middle of talking to them.
AD: Was I talking?
ME: I don’t know, because I can’t even remember your face.
AD: Well, I just have a complex where I think no one wants to hear me talk.
ME: No one wants to hear you talk because you’re socially graceless.
Yeah, I used the phrase.
Later I was more annoyed when So. Africa and I were made to wait while he finished talking to people—So. Africa being OUR RIDE and I was holding his stuff.
ME: You know you could have introduced us to your friends there.
AD: No, you’re supposed to come crash the circle.
ME: No, you say, ‘I’m with those guys over there’ and wave.
Adventure waves.
ME: Not now, I know you. P.S. you’re not getting your stuff back.
SO. AFRICA: Oh boy are you in for it! I’m so glad I’m driving.
I was, as I said, I was more kidding than too angry. I can’t get too angry at Adventure because I know none of it is purposeful and he’s more just socially awkward than anything else—and since when can I hold anything against someone just for being socially awkward? Still, this is why I point it out, he does it all the time to everyone and if doesn’t know it can annoy or hurt people he really ought to.
After we finally ripped Adventure away it was off to have… an adventure! Less than halfway to the WGA, So. Africa’s emergency gas tank empty light went on.
SO. AFRICA: If we run out of gas, I’ll pay for the cab.
There’s nothing like three people who don’t like driving, all foreign to the area, 2 with no sense of direction trying to find a gas station—for ONLY these three people get lost in Beverly Hills when they have NO GAS.
Haaa.
Eventually we found a gas station and had fun conversation on the way home.
THIS BRINGS US TO TODAY:
Today was a adventureful day.
After our screenings in the morning, Adventure and I set out to go grocery shopping. Halfway to the store, however, I grew ravenous. I felt slightly bad because according to I. and R. (though not Adventure) I was a bit… SHARP last night in my reprimands, so I told Adventure I would treat him to lunch. He still owes me for the other day, but this day, it was my treat. So off we were to lunch. Then we stopped at my place ate and watched Pete and Pete as well as… what else did we do? Dinked around on the computer and things. Listened to James Blunt.
After our little time wastage we ran to the grocery store. This one was most uneventful—just our standard cart filling, cart trade off. My toe was injured by a rogue cart wheel, but I will live. He stood on the edge of the cart I pushed it up the way. I bought six cans of soup.
Somewhere during all this excitement, we made a plan. A plan for adventure.
This plan included such places as:
The Post Office
The Police Station.
The first was to pick up my bowel, something I purchased off eBay. The second was to file a report because ADVENTURE WAS HIT BY A CAR.
Whoops! Did I forget to mention?
On Thursday a car ran into Adventure. He wasn’t hurt, but he was flayed atop the bonnet of the car and in shock. He and the driver stared each other down a moment, the Adventure kind of just walked to the sidewalk without thinking and the driver drove off.
ME (that morning): DID YOU GET THE LICENSE PLATE?
AD: … No…
I slap my forehead.
Still, he wanted to see if he could file anything report-wise and I have never been to police station before to so we went.
The office was REALLY CURT.
COP: Did you get the license.
AD: No.
COP: What are you thinking?
AD: Well-
COP: What do you think we can do?
AD: Well, I just thought, could you tell me what I could have done?
COP: Get out.
That’s about verbatim.
Adventure and I left, a little shellshocked. We got to the curb…
AD: Did you get that officer’s name?
ME: No.
(beat)
ME: Do you want to get it?
AD: Yes. Let’s go.
(Cue good-the-bad-the-ugly-music)
We walked in again, but by the officer changed his tune, he felt guilty for treating us like so.
COP: Where are you from?
AD: The U.K.
COP: Ah—
AD: So, see, I didn’t even know—
COP: Sure, sure, I understand now.
He then taught us all sorts of things about the police force and what you should do when you get hit by a car.
HINT: It has something to do with getting license plates.
Finally, we left--- got back to my place, rescued Adventure’s icecream from my freezer and took him all the way back home.
HUGE EXHALE.
And now we are all up to date!
Tomorrow I am crewing on Adventure and W.P.’s film. I don’t know what my job is—I don’t even know if they know I am coming. I was supposed to do Craft, but the producer did the shopping and that has me worried. I HAVE CRAFT SERVICE DOWN TO A FINE ART, I can’t have unknown variables thrown in—thus, I have decided to be a P.A., unless, of course, the craft is good, in which case I am taking credit.
MAD CACKLE.
Last notes: I want a Bengal Kitten. Bad.
Best film ever made, Jigglykat, you can tell them I said so.
I get a private parking place March 1st, yaaaaaays.
If anyone reads this all the way through, comment. I don’t care what you say, I just have to know if any human makes it through this.
suddenly i was @ 12:29 am