sunday, february 29, 2004

i don't care how much work i have, i will watch the last 15 minutes of the oscars.

i will see rotk win!

har har har. i actually like watching the oscars, i just didn't have the time tonight. i was recording voice actors just an hour ago, now i am editing my second script and i still have first script editing to do and ack! i must read othello before tomorrow as i have desires to crash the shakespeare class (as well as the animation II class, again) tomorrow morning.

ooooh, an animated commercial! that's a person like me with a job!

ok. last 10 seconds of oscars.

i WISH i was at the oscars. i so could be an announcer.

suddenly i was @ 10:18 pm

saturday, february 28, 2004

hamlet, batman and marilyn monroe just wandered in to my script.

a sample line:
Oh please not another one of those appalling roadside vestibules, the last one’s tamales made my bottom burble something awfully.

i really want to go back to the dickensian one.

suddenly i was @ 04:44 pm

call me totally materialistic, but my joy thus stated down below there, sprung from my receiving, count them FOUR packages at one in the mail.

first:
i love you odile! thank you so much for my package. by the time i got to the card with the flower petals i almost wept with happiness. it was so dear and lovely and here i just sent you ps, nothing nearly as sweet. i love the rock. how did you know about my fetish for rocks? i have everything laid out neat as a pin on my floor so i might look at all the trinkets. everything is so nice! sigh, sigh, sigh. i owe you terribly much after this display of generosity.

second:
i got a red hoody from my mother which had a little note pinned to it reading, "is this like elliot's? -mom." referring, of course, to my on going quest to find a hoody like elliot's in e.t.

third:
the backstory here: i never wrote about my brush with the vortex of all evil, also known as melody lane. in my script i wanted a character to reference a song from 1912 called, "white wings," it is is a song about the sea and love but uses the term "wings" to describe the sails of ships. i thought it was a lovely package for me because it makes mention to all three of the major themes in my story (love, the sea and "birds" er- kind of).
anyhow. i searched all the world for a copy of this song and could find it no where.
then i found a place on the internet which was a large database of old music. it had “white wings” on its list, but did not specify whether it was an mp3, midi, sheet music, lyrics or all of the above which was available and to gain access to any of the files to find out, one had to join the site's service with a one time fee of 20 dollars.
well. i am poor and tempting as it is... i couldn't just join unless i knew my song was there.
so i wrote the owner, trying desperately to sound pathetic enough, ie i am a student, i am doing research etc so she might pity me and bequeath unto me the file, though i never asked for a handout and asked rather, if she indeed had an mp3 of "white wings" and if not, if she knew where i might look for one.
the reply which followed was THE RUDEST i have ever received. snippy, impolite and curt. i didn't care if her database was the last GOD DAMN place where "white wings" was available; after her display i was never going to join. i wrote her back kindly enough and told her, i wasn't asking for freebies and was so sorry she took such offense. she wrote back and and answered my original question as a normal (if not still snippy) human, saying no, there was no mp3 of "white wings".
WHATEVER.
enter ebay.
the question now is should i write the owner and tell her i have an original copy of the piece and if she wants a copy?

i now own my 1912 record of "white wings." the record is really from 1912! it's amazing. it's old, weighs about a million pounds... oh it's gorgeous! it's still in its original coverlet, which is brittle old decorated brown piece of paper.
i love my record so much!
now... how do i play it?

4. a gift for my friend, who i am now irked at, whatever, i didn't think it would come on time and it did though, so, hooray!

other BIG NEWS.

i spliced it! my film! all of it! my teacher set my mind at ease by explaining one wants to keep their work print clean, lest they have to project it, but in reality a full print is made from the negative (god, this sounds so basic, i am such a moron, but i really don't like working with film). so though i have the dirtiest workprint known to all man, no worries for my negative is PRISTINE. har, the workprint though, really. there are a few portions, i don't know what i did to them... chewed on the ends or something, but it's all there! ready to go. YES.
i will be part of the film festival.
an email to my teacher

"[my real name] turns into the obsessive stalker student from hell.

hey! i was just writing to say i spliced all the film together (mild hurrah!) today. let it hereto forth be known, i am now in the possession of dirtiest workprint in all the history of the entire universe. you'll note the presence of dust particles increase exponentially at splice sites, truly, this reel is miraculous.
ha, yes, my splices make the baby film jesus want to cry, but it's together now, more or less.
there seems to be three variations of casey. there is the original blown out footage, then very dark yellow-ish footage and the latest which is somewhere between the two.
can the developers, if a print was made, even them out?
i was wondering if i might stop by on monday, maybe during lunch or after class, since i'll be in the michigan building anyhow returning the splicer and using the frame thief room, to show you what i have so if reshooting is wanted i can get more film by friday.
we're cranking it into high gear, i have been sitting on this project long enough!

anyhow, talk to you later!"

a far cry from the one i sent the other day which began, "i am writing to you in an alarming state of duress."

i am just giddy. and this entry is so long and boring i'm sure.

should i watch great expectations? or should i read david copperfield? i love drowning in dickensianess, though i should be reading shakespeare for my new script, gah...
i am relating so much to pip and david these days. last night pip made me weep...

"oh, estella," i answered, as my bitter tears fell fast on her hand, do what i would to restrain them; "even if i remained in england and could hold my head up with the rest, how could i see you drummle's wife?"
"nonsense," she returned, "nonsense. this will pass in no time."
"never, estella!"
"you will get me out of your thoughts in a week."
"out of my thoughts? you are part of my existence, part of myself. you have been in every line i have ever read, since i first came here, the rough common boy whose poor heart you wounded even then. you have been in every prospect i have ever seen since- on the river, on the sails of the ships, on the marshes, in the clouds, in the light, in the darkness, in the wind, in the woods, in the sea, in the streets. you have been the embodiment of every graceful fancy my mind has ever become acquainted with. the stones of which the strongest london buildings are made are not more real, or more impossible to be displaced by your hands, then your presence and influence have been on me, there and everywhere, and will be estella, to the last hour of my life, you cannot choose but remain part of my character, part of the little good in me, part of the evil. but, in this separation i associate you only with the good, and i will faithfully hold to that always, for you must have done me far more good than harm, let me feel now what sharp distress i may. o god bless you, god forgive you!"

oh do join me in my chorus of "estella you cold, heartless stone!" i am crying everywhere all over again, i can't even see the writing.

... though currently i can relate to david more

my passion takes away my appetite, and makes me wear my newest silk neckerchief continually. i have no relief but in putting on my best clothes, and having my boots cleaned over and over again. i seem, then, to be worthier of the eldest miss larkins. everything that belongs to her, or is connected with her, is precious to me. mr larkins (a gruff old gentleman with a double chin, and one of his eyes immovable in his head) is fraught with interest to me. when i can't meet his daughter, i go where i am likely to meet him. to say, 'how do you do, mr. larkins? are the young ladies and all the family quite well?' seems to pointed, that i blush.

my m.o. man! my m.o. of course, dave, you're only seventeen and i'm one and twenty, your goal age, but whatever.

still, upon consideration, it's probably best to relate more to david, pip is a bit unhealthy.
by the bye, you all should read those cuts if nothing else in this entry of mine.

oh my god, i have rattled on and on, yet i still have desires to rattle more, but i won't i shall bid thee fair audience adieu and thank you for your company by sharing with you this email response from my teacher

"bring it by, and yes the different hues can be evened out when printed.
i am afraid I did have to put a restraining order on you for I feared
for my life."

which came as i spent an age writing up this post!

suddenly i was @ 01:17 am

thursday, february 26, 2004

i don't know what my problem has been this week. i am either suffering from the most violent downswing of my life or am stumbling blindly into a deep hormonal pitfall.
today i woke up and felt just awful. it was terrible. i couldn't focus in figure drawing in the morning. i didn't want to be there and kept doing things like pulling my paper from my easel. i finally had to leave the room to go breathe in the restroom while running my hands under cold water.
by lunchtime, however, i perked up and felt much better, thank goodness.

sigh. class was lovely today, despite my emotional issues.. i absolutely adore my teacher. i had him first year. he gives the most excellent breaks, that's is, many and often. during each break i settle down and read more of "david copperfield," my new novel of choice.
dear old copperfield! i haven't read about him since the ninth grade. it always amazes what tiny details stick with me after a decade, or what ever, apart from a book.
i remember nothing about the story of david copperfield. no uriah heep, no steerforth, nothing. i do however, remember in full detail the scene of david on the beach with little em'ly (an old nickname of mine, bequeathed unto me from a fellow dickens fan back in the day). the scene takes place in the second chapter of the book or something, but i recall it so vividly. it was my inspirational vision when i began my own script and placed it in the dockyards of old new york.
very magical.
also, i forgot david's fascination with reading. now i am wondering if the theme of stories in my own is not a direct tip the hat to copperfield.
subconscious dickensianess? har har. one of these days i shall have to write down all my tip the hats, you guys should laugh and laugh.
i have to say too, steerforth is quite the attractive character at the beginning of the book, (me in the darkness of the studio: woof!) though, doesn't he turn out evil? or steal little em'ly, or something?
and doesn't david get together with agnes, but then she dies?

i make up my OWN version of david copperfield in my imagination. i totally cannot remember this book and i love it!

anyhow. i shall keep you updated on my reading.

in this vein i am also still watching "great expectations." 310 minutes long and watching it in 5 minute intervals every other night, i am going to make this film last all semester.

viewing one
pip: estella.
i turn off the tape.

viewing two
estella: all sorts of ugly insects gather around a lighted candle, can the candle help it?
i turn off the tape.

viewing three
pip: no, but estella can.
i turn off the tape.

some people sing along with songs i mime the dialogue to "great expectations" when the spirit so moves me. some people also talk back to the television during sports programs or lifetime movies, i talk to G.E.
me at 2 am: estella you heartless wench!

oh my god, i have to get a life.

this is a great adaptation of the novel however, if you ever have the chance to watch it do. jean simmons who was estella in the famed 40's rendition plays miss havisham. you should watch it and join me in my laughter at the awfulness that which is herbert's haircut. pip, thank god, has a good hairstyle.
this is the man who plays pip, some eight years older and as he is in pride and prejudice. he currently plays a FORENSICS person on some tv show.

a very nice little story

a flight or two ago when i went home for some holiday session, i was in the airport when a girl in the terminal smiled at me. i smiled back.
later, after boarding the plane, i noticed the girl again, sitting a few rows in front of me. she smiled. i smiled back again thinking, "do i know you?"
later i had to change planes at a different airport, when i got on the new plane, the same girl was there and again, we smiled at each other.
when the plane landed at my final destination, i walked past the girl and we smiled and nodded before parting ways. my father came and i told him all about the strange smiling girl.

flash forward more than half a year later.

i run to an elevator today. a girl on the inside held it open for me. when i got in she looked up and asked, "how are classes?"
i told her they are fine, though again i found myself thinking, "do i know you?"
this time an answer came to me, though she spoke it aloud first, "i was on a plane with you once!"
there it was. my smiling girl, michelle. she is my neighbor and lives one door down.
and beat this: she's from my hometown as well.
how insane! she's actually from south africa (has a fabulous accent) but for the past 4 years or so has lived in my old neck o' the woods and not, not only goes to my school but is my neighbor!
tiny, tiny world.

the end!

p.s. here is yet another music downloading site of goodness, because we all need 6 hours plus of classical music on our desktop.

p.p.s. WHOA HANNA! you're the first person to comment here in an age. thanks!

suddenly i was @ 09:49 pm

wednesday, february 25, 2004

i went on my own, courageously.
i have been taught the methods and procedures so many times over, surely i could do it. the flat fact remains, however, there are those who have skill and finesse when dealing with film and then there are those who don't. i am party to this latter company and no amount of training or practice on my part will ever change this of my nature.

i rubbed the film, tangled it, dropped it, ran it upside down, backwards, cut it, re-rolled it, haired it up and lost it.

i engaged in every single film mistake humanly possible this afternoon. after a few splices [read: hours] i forsook my venture, for though it was one which demanded completion by friday, i figured i was doing more harm to my film than anything else.

in the end i dropped my head and wet the flatbed with my tears.

i am in the most miserable mood today.

suddenly i was @ 09:01 pm

tuesday, february 24, 2004

i've said it once, i'll say it a thousand times. i can't stand film. i don't care if it is the end all be all to the best image out there, i can't handle it! i can hit the expose button and that is it.

this is me after being told 8 million times on how to splice.

me: ooooook. just get a little slack here...

i pull the celluloid too hard and actually pull a bunch from the spool.

me: whoops. let's see if i can straighten this out...

i hit the flatbed into forward motion. film flies everywhere.

me: GAH!!

i panic and violently try to stop the flat bed, i overshoot the neutral position however and hit rewind. the curled film tightens and is NEARLY sucked through the lamp.

me: AAAAH!

i then spent the next 45 minutes trying to decurl the film (and using bad language) thinking, "ok that's only like 50 dollars there" "oh, there goes 25 more..."
needless to say my once flawless workprint is now covered with HAIR AND SCRATCHES.
join me in chorus of SPITE!!

and in theory tomorrow i'm supposed to go and do this all on my own.

oh. sweet. god. my film will never survive my idiocy. it's times like these i have to remind myself of all the things i can do. i can write 15 pages about norman bates and freud, i can read dickens, i can code websites by hand, i can do the splits...

really though, i only like writing, storyboarding, working on films and acting in film i just can't stand working with film itself.

question: now, when one conforms a film, do such things as dust and scratchies disappear? do they use the negative as the source, or what?

gaaaaaaaah.

suddenly i was @ 04:33 pm

this was me yesterday:

[23 Feb 2004 | 10:26pm]

i am sad on the inside.
but at least i am sentient.
oh these past few days have been awful. my mind is an utter mess of scene organization. i can't tell how the last 30 pages of my script are...
what's there?
what isn't?
how many times have i driven this point home?
why does this scene exist?
i really want this scene to exist.
should i cut this?
where is this character?
maybe i can save this for later.
maybe he could die.
how long is this?
i'm desperate. my t.a. said he would read it and all weekend i sought to pull it together into a form worth reading on tuesday and now, at 11 pm on monday i can safely say: yo. i failed.
hours of work and i couldn't do it!
yesterday i worked from 11am until 2 am, till my wrists were puffy and today... god, between 1 and 5 i had at least two hours of just staring at the computer... ARGH. i am convinced i must have nodded off in front of the monitor at one point for that is THE ONLY way i could account for the lack of work which has occurred in my presence today.
why!?

this is the new me now:
[24 Feb 2004 | 9:25am]

so after my somewhat uneventful day yesterday (uneventful script editing wise) i decided to get up today at 7 am and start at it again.
weehoo!
i'm on page... 87 and moving along fine. how innocent they all were then! it also makes me sad on the inside. i want to write with 6 and 10 year olds once more.

here's a quote spoken aloud by me just this second: list! it is the distant chirping of my celphone.

and yes, i am alone in my room.

the chirping signifies it is now 10 am and i have to get dressed and prepped to visit school yet again to learn how to splice film.

bah humbug i say to the activity!

suddenly i was @ 10:07 am

friday, february 20, 2004

i am about to do something totally out of character and insane and i am scared for it.

suddenly i was @ 06:56 pm

wednesday, february 18, 2004

script... oh god...
all i have to say now is... i am so close, so very close with the first script. she is almost finished. i'm at a point where i may commense "project lawnmower" once again.
i am so tired, but am so happy.

ha, today really represented what happens when fate slaps a good one your way.

all i have to say is HOORAY for bfa film festival meetings.

i was running down the back stairs when i bumped into brooke who informed me the thesis film fest meeting was today (i, being TOTALLY ontop of it, had no clue of this). i joined brooke and ran off to the appointed place.
i was standing waiting the meeting to start (it was late as our room had been double booked) when who of all people should come along?

moop.

moop.

ksssssssshtch.

houston, we have said mc.

ksssssstch.

over out.

roger that.

we've made contact.

only the one i have been secretly seeking for the past three weeks.

thank you very much, it may not have been much, only talk of films, emails and scripts but it is definitely something and i got to use the no-fail line, "i'm like, you're number one fan."

welcome the coolsville, population: me.

nevermind in hindsight is till think my position would be greatly improved if i were a grad. i am still filled with a contented glee and have a certain sense of resolve about myself. it takes much to step forward, but it is good in the end, even if it seems like nothing.

i am talking like a dragon in riddles.

i am also thinking i am so glad i wore the best outfit i own today for no particular reason at all. woot.

suddenly i was @ 03:21 am

tuesday, february 17, 2004

on my list of worst musicals to make, in the manner of the producers' goal in "the producers," which henceforth has included such things as "a clockwork orange" ("do you viddy that malchick over there, over there, ludwig van!" and "jfk" ("the man on the grassy knoll, what's does he know? what does he know?") i have decided to make an uplifting adaptation of "great expectations" wherein i can have pip sing "uptown girl" about estella. later he'd sing, "bad to me" to estella.
oh, oh! and ala tom jones, bentley "the spider" drummle will sing, "she's a lady" about estella to pip, except we'll know he lies about the not abusing part.
the other day i accidentally called someone "tom jones" to their face.

suddenly i was @ 11:01 am

monday, february 16, 2004

oh my god, i almost forgot this lifetime movie was premiering tonight! how could i?

the first thing i witness as the movie starts:
young girl goes to nurse's office. nurse looks inside her mouth.

nurse: how long have you had this sore?
girl shrugs.
nurse: does it hurt?
girl: no.
nurse: do you mind if i ask you a few questions?

me: IT'S HERPES! yes!

har har har. where is this supposed to be taking place, the twilight zone?

young naive girl in hottub: it's awfully hot in here.
i'mgoingtotakeadvantageofyou boy: oh... that's the idea.

why can't I write lines like this?

now the young naive girl is typing on aim speaking in l33t. "u r 2 good 4 that jerk." ACK! they're playing the song from master and commander! the cello theme. the piece has now been ruined for me forever.

oh my god! update: it wasn't herpes, it was SYPHILIS! i didn't even know that disease still existed. ho ho, and she has been with 20 boys, at 14. it's a gross underculture at this school.
why aren't you guys watching this with me?
i like how there is always the one sensitive male in these movies. go timmy! you'll end up with the girl in the end!

speaking of lines, i'd like to cover the various sundry ways i have facilitated in the past 5 hours to not write my own.

made lunch
replied to all lj comments
refreshed lj comment page 20 times to see what would happen
signed on aim
signed off aim
emptied email
paid auction bill
took an hour nap
took a phone survey
found some m&m's
sang along to four songs

and yes... cleaned out the dust between my keys with my hair. look at how they sparkle!

this said, i actually wrote... about 12 pages. not bad. much of it has to be tightened. whenever i get lost with writing, my characters tend to putz while i get my head together.

kip: so...
felix: so.
iris: yep.
kip: mmmm hmmm.
felix: so when you think?
felix points to the sky where i, as script god, live.
kip: is she going to get around to us? who knows.
iris: i'm bored.

now come gather 'round people, where ever you roam. sit thee by the fire whilst i fill you with tales of delight and wonder.

"the story of today."

today i was the biggest moron. i waltzed into the animation II room to pick up my film. i was really on one because for certain reasons i felt the need to impress.
when my teacher arrived i sang out, "'ello!" to which he aswered with a similar salutation in an equally butchered cockney accented manner, which meritted a few, "rawthaws!" from yours truly.
i then chatted with some students present.
p.s. best converstion starting line ever: so, how's your work?
i retrieved my film and was prepping to leave when the class phone rang. my teacher made motions to answer it.
NO!
i cried.
let me get it! i'm good at answering phones.
this earned a few eagerly sought smiles.
the phone call was strange. people sang me happy brithday. it turned about to be a wrong phone number, but it was nice. i thanked them and even made certain there was no "birthday mary" in the room.
after the phone call i left, but not before blowing a kiss to the whole class and calling out, "have an absolutely fabulous animation II class!"
i then walked to the film developing place while trying to think of creative last ditch plans in manner of amelie, when i realized i had walked about 8 blocks past my destination.
i turned around and made it to the developer. "i have a 100 ft. to develop" said i as i dug through my bag.
then i discovered the truth.

i had forgotten my film in the animation class.

oh.
sweet.
god.

and since i had been SUCH the quiet doormouse, no one would notice if i slipped back inside to grab it, right?
brother.

all in all, i think i walked 5 miles today all on this one errand.

aka a dinner menu

so, last night was so incredibly the best. my friend rachel had a giftcard for 100 dollars for a few resturaunts around the city from her aunt who gets them from some work client of hers. rachel, with giftcard in hand, along my old roommate and i thereby decided it was time to go out in style. we chose a place called "ben pao." we sat down and debated whether or not we should get appetizers. rachel then uttered the words which would be our mantra for the rest of the meal. "heavens girls, let's not be cheap."
let's see.
we had cocktails. i had a lime-passion fruit squeeze, non alcholic as i am such a dear little prude, but i did try some of my old roommate's saki and rachel's mango martini.
then we had appetizers... yum yum. i had the vegetable spring rolls (vegetarian, woo woo) but included with the rolls were ribs and crab rangoon, which rachel and o.r. had.
it was then time for the main course, which we totally overdid. i had a cold peanut noodle salad. old roommate had, chow fun noodles or something, very good. i just compleatly made up that dish name. it was flavourful noodles with asparagus, which now lives in my fridge as the token chinese take out box i have always desired as a presence in my abode. rachel ordered, not one, but two chicken dishes because, "it's not like we're paying for it!"
but wait, there's more!
when dessert came along, we just kept ordering. i think the waiter almost died. i had banana cheese cake, rachel custard and o.r. chocolate egg rolls.
mmm.
the rolls were slaughtered, we couldn't handle cutting them. it was world war III in chocolate on a plate.
oh yes, we shared every dish (except the meat ones ho ho).
the dinner took absolutely forever, but it was so much fun to sit around and talk. it was the girl's night out i missed on valentines. i felt very posh, though i'm sure we weren't.
especially when we had the cell phone out calculating prices, making certain our tab came in under hundred dollars.
actually, with tax we went a little over. we had to pay 8 dollars.
join me in my chorus of WOOT.
three girls, 100 dollar meal and we're only 8 breads the poorer.
let me just say, we toasted rachel's "aunt jane" and told rachel her aunt simply must bequeeth unto us more of these magical gift cards.

i really want chocolate!

suddenly i was @ 10:44 pm

sunday, february 15, 2004

oh my god, i have had so much fun today and i have talked to so many people.

my plan today was to wake up early to go and film, so, of course, i woke up at 1. i then desperately spent the next two hours trying to escape my room to go to school, but i was interupted every moment with little bursts of delight in the form of phone calls.

phone call the first:
mom wishing a happy heart day. aw, for sweet! my prediction at the first meeting of the animation clubHAUS was right.
jen: have fun with doing things with people on valentines!
me: you mean talking to my mom?

phone call the second:
this was actually a text message from old roommate which read, "happy valentines <3" i replied with "i <3 u."

phone call the third:
probably the most eventful. casey called to say she is in fact, really, actually, for reals, coming to visit! honest! i was on the phone with her as she pressed the "proceed to checkout" button. i am so excited. i have never had a friend visit (only a cousbian). we shall see museums and chinatown and belmont and my class! woot! so much joy.
p.s. my mom says she doesn't believe the truth about your hair casiladila.
p.p.s. oh, i added you to the animation clubHAUS list.

phone call the fourth:
this was from my friend jenjen. we met in illustration class last semester and talk a great deal with each other. we know everything about each other's lives in detail, to the point, we can never meet each other's friends because "we know too much." i love her, she and i laugh so much i hurt after we talk.
anyhow, she called so we could plan a get-together tonight.

at this point i escaped and made it to film in the animation room.

everything has been shot

only 2 years guys and it is all shot. my film. i'm not so excited yet though as a. i don't have this current reel developed so god only knows, don't count the chickens before they're hatched and b. i might be reshooting the first 20 seconds of thte piece as it was originally shot hot. fart on a log. though still, woot!

5 minutes after i make it into the animation room though, my phone rings again. here, my phone, the thing i didn't even know could ring it's so silent all the time.

phone call the fifth:
friend ana, wants to know what i am doing. she always does.

while i'm talking to ana, yet another call comes in, i bid her farewell and pick up other line.

phone call the sixth:
it is old roommate calling back having received text message and being bored at her gallery job. we talk a good long time. there was this guy in the class, god only knows what he thinks of me... he heard everything i said... gah.

while talking to o.r. my phone died. so i moved to the computer and aimed her to say goodbye, because yes, i am obsessive like that.

flash forward a few million hours and finished film sequences later...

i get home and -

phone call the seventh:
my friend alice from ny calls. we apparently shared a bizarre "pocahontas" psychic moment with each other (pocahontas was on television, which reminded me of a parody we made with pigs once called "pigahonas." i text messaged her the phrase, "should i marry porkayum" which is a reference to a lyric in the film, "should i marry kocoum?" at the exact moment she was relating the tale of "pigahontas" to her friends) and she met my inner gay man, rufus wainwright  (thank you quizella).

phone call the eighth:
my dad calls. he wants to test out his handsfree set. p.s. i always use mine. i am afraid of what the cel might zap into my mind.

i hang up and of course, the phone rings again.

phone call the ninth:
ana again. she is bored and we make plans to walk to school together tomorrow, because we are awesome and like spending whole weekends at a time in school buildings (or at least, i do).

while on the phone with ana, jenjen calls again.

insert phone call the tenth here.

then jenjen came over. we didn't get icecream and we didn't watch "being there," but we did much catching up and of course, laughed straight through 2 and a half hours of pure fun fun fun.

and here we are now! i have yet to have my script moment, but feel no less for it. i was thinking this valentines might not be any fun because i had no plans, not even to celebrate my (perpetual, most likely eternal) singletonhood, but how wrong i was and in such a surprising manner too.
valentines is such a ridiculous holiday sometimes.

suddenly i was @ 03:16 am

friday, february 13, 2004

i have a history of having superb friday the 13th's and today, though certainly not a pinnacle in my career of them, was really no different despite a rocky beginning.

i am brushing my teeth with my toothbrush just run under the tap.
radio: and the boil water water is still in effect for today after yesterday's discovery of ecoli in the water supply.
i stop brushing my teeth.

i woke up this morning to go film my animation. i strapped my 800lb duffle bag to my person and set off.
today the class only had individual meetings, so for the most part, no one was there, just the staples.
a girl, brooke, who is just too lovely for words, made sugar cookies for everyone and i mean serious sugar cookies. she looked tired too and admitted she had been up all night frosting them.
each pink cookie was adorned with the name of a type of meat: ie. flank.

animation teacher about brooke: she's going to make a fine grandmother one of these days.

what i ate today
10 am: sugar cookie
noon: sugar cookie
4 pm: 1/2 a sugar cookie

needless to say, it's been a red letter day for my eating habits, made better only by the fact i refuse to exercise right now.
i am however, going to have vegetables with dinner. so in the end, it's like it has all balanced out, no?

10 pounds of sugar cookie... lettuce.

dude, yes.

anyhow. i had the most wonderful fun talking with a bunch of animation peers i never really talk to at all. i shared with one girl, jen, my new found knowledge on the topic of underground plastic surgery and announced to everyone my favourite dancer, casey was coming out to the city.
animation teach about casey: we'll all have these strange personal conceptual ideas of her as this sumptuous being, 'remember that one time you licked your lips up close for me? or that time your arched your back?"

p.s. casey is the subject of my film.

oh, we covered various sundry topics today but we really got hooked on the idea of "being sentient."
you see, one student, robert, has a film where in the soundtrack a girl repeats the phrase, "am i not sentient?" over and over.
everyone in the animation department knows this phrase.
this afternoon, the lot of us happened to be discussing it and soon found ourselves applying the sentient idea to everything.
ie: the romans.

r: they feed who to the lions?
v: the christians.
l: slaves.
me: prisoners of war.
l: people the emperor didn't like.
v: people who weren't sentient.

and of course, the talk of romans brought up the topic of "clubs."

there are, apparently, several animation "clubs" present at the school. the "official" one which is run by a kid who (though always cordial with me) is something of a... i don't know, disagreeable fellow. he's very aggressive about certain things and comes up with ideas like, "let's make a club film, i'll write it, you animate it."
i might add, i haven't witnessed this in person, just heard it repeatedly from everyone else in the world.
i am diametrically opposed to clubs.
the other animation club is the secret "grown up" one which consists mostly of grad students and a few accidental undergrads, one of which is my friend who offered to take me along to one of the meetings (at someone's house somewhere). i have an interest of late in this latter club... which i won't divulge here, WINK diana.
we were complaining about the secrecy of this second club when the small lot of us in the classroom decided if we had a club, we'd build a bed sheet fort in the animation room and have our meetings there. this further developed into an idea to have several forts by putting sheets over the animation desks, that way one might personalize their area.
as we continued brainstorming, our club formed before our eyes. we would would be "the animation clubHAUS."

here are our stats!

motto: am i not sentient?
club pet: my fish
mascot: a crying unicorn
anthem: born in the usa

we also gave ourselves titles, we have a pr rep, majestic evaluator, king missionary and asian relations person to name a few. i am the club pickpocket because we have to get funds from someone and i would doubt the school would support our endeavors.
we then drew a huge unicorn on the board who wept while thinking, "am i not sentient?" next to the unicorn was the phrase, "animation across the nation! because we're where it's at." below this tagline was the vital 411, "for people with sadness on the inside, join the animation clubHAUS today (see member list taped to coat rack at back of room)."

this is what happens when animation students are left alone to long.

very much fun. i left early, though i didn't want to, so i could go grocery shopping. normally i'd still be there now, but i only have a few more scenes to shoot before IT'S ALL SHOT and i have to reillustrate the title frames so i decided, "meh." and that i would return tomorrow.

i hope the clubHAUS kids will be there for me!

blah, valentines tomorrow. i shall poke my eyes out about it later.
i wonder... my friend jenjen was going to go with me to stare at the site of the st. valentines day massacre. are we still doing it?

i don't know...

am i not sentient?

are you?

suddenly i was @ 08:08 pm

thursday, february 12, 2004

so today was a nice day. i had figure drawing, nothing like staring at nakedness for 6 hours, though i have to confess... this model... i swear she wasn't natural in the casaba department. i know one's mind is not suppose to think on such superficial issues when examining the human body, but all day i was thinking, "they're like bowling balls!"
i did have one magic moment when my teacher told me to cut lose on a piece. i put on my headphones, rolled up my sleeves and cranked old ludwig van to the max and tore out at my paper with all the verocity the ode to joy could conjur within me.
charcol was flying, bits of paper... it was pretty insane, but apparently it was good art tactic because people started coming up to me asking to see "the picture from this morning" because they thought it was "very nice."
me: for cool!
oh my god, and one girl said it reminded her of davinci, which i think was... i don't know... compleatly over the top, but it made me blush and smile nonetheless. i have a new friend.

when i came home, i exercised and storyboard-ed- all before nine! - and then i went off to see "song of the south," the film disney wants to forget. it's where "zipedeedoodah" comes from, starring uncle remus, br'er rabbit, br'er bear, br'er fox and a slew of disturbing children. have any of you seen it? i never had before, but i own the record, which is why, yes, i knew all the lyrics to "everybody's got a laughin' place, a laughin' place to go-ho-ho! just turn that frown upside down..."
yeah.

it is highly disturbing, yet... interesting and as wrong as it is, i thought br'er rabbit was cute.

i actually had a point in trying to write here today, but i have forgotten it. geeh... forgive me.

blah, i have to film animation tomorrow. ooh! german sailor moon theme playing on itunes.

dat be da laughinest place ah evah been in.

suddenly i was @ 11:55 pm

wednesday, february 11, 2004

gah, i should be hog tied and banned from the computer, more specifically my email account, after midnight.

i woke up this morning and through a haze this memory comes to me of writing an email to my t.a.

oh jesus.

then i open my email this morning- and lo. a reply. i'm scared to even touch it.

we'll open the other emails first. one from my aunt... ah. that's right. on sunday i employed my friend to help me retrieve my new fish. papagena, bless her little murderous soul, passed on into the greater guppy realm this christmas, so my aunt bought a new fish. this one is bright, bright flourescent orange and i have no idea what kind it is. my aunt had been calling her miranda... i don't really like the name, but it's growing on me.
perhaps that is because casey reminded me miranda is like miranda otto, who is awesome.
random: casey may be coming to visit me in march. can you believe it? a friend of mine, here, at school! i can take her to my animation class and introduce her to everyone! my whole animation is based on ms. dances, everyone knows her through it. so gloriously happy.
also, special edition faramir action figure comes out in march. it will be state crossing adventure time!

anyhow. next email.

ah, this is from my old roommate, the one who helped me carry "miranda" home. it's a free font site. we have a fetish for such things. i wonder what fonts are here?
hey scad students who read this, there's a featured font by scad people here.
aw, she was going to send me a cute patterned email with sanrio characters (another shared fetish) but alas, the option is only for pcs. curse you pcs! again, you go out of your way to ruin my life.

ok. here it is. the last embarassing email. please, i need your support, hold my hands please.

though not both.

then i can't type REAL TIME (with 3 second delay in case my email goes janet on me) what is happening. i've clicked it! i can't watch, i cannae stind the suspince!

whew, that wasn't so bad. i love odie. he probably thinks i am a moron, but whatever.

last line of email: >point: read script books, read your script, read dickens, keep working.

dude, check on all of the above. score one, team me. i am so good.

suddenly i was @ 02:44 pm

oh my god, save me, i am going to die.

new script... oh god.

message from the future: GAH! davis on third watch- no!

suddenly i was @ 03:00 am

friday, february 6, 2004

so this is me this morning.

alarm goes off at 7 am.

i look at the clock and think, "that's funny, why'd i set my alarm so early on a saturday?"

man on radio: gear up for your weekend!

me in mind: and i'm so awake too, i'm going to get so much work done. why am i so awake? oh, that's right, i went to bed way early last night. why?

somewhere around 8 am.

me: HOLY CRAP!

yes indeed folks, today was not saturday as my mind believed it to be, but was in fact, friday, a day of class for yours truly. i ran out the door without breakfast or lunch, but somehow managed to make my bed and dress in a pretty snazzy outfit according to my peers (a first).
even my outerwear drew stares from the street. i kept noticing people giving me the rubberneck, then i caught a glimpse of myself in reflection of a building's glass.
there i was wearing my knee high army style boots and my 40 pound french world war II coat.

i basically looked like i was going off to war... in 1942. very millitant.

once i got to class however and took off my jacket, everyone kept mentioning, "you look so pretty today!" which, though i took it as a delightfully rare compliment, still made me wonder, "i really must look like crap 99.9 percent of the time."
today i wore a skirt with my high boots and a sheer black shirt with a black tank underneath it.
more importantly however, is what i wore beneath my shirt, my strapless brassiere; a fact i shared with about 8 people in my class. i have never had one of these contraptions before and i really must sing its praise. i had my doubts, but during my great underwear shop of 2003 (poodles ate underwear needed new ones) i felt the intense need to own one, for just such an occassion as i might wear a tank top.
truly amazing, it is like i am defying gravity.
this is the most complex item of clothing i have ever owned.
i have done nothing but talk about my underwear today. i took it upon myself to share with about 8 people in the class the trauma i have suffered by my poodles' sick fetish for underwear. they eat them. the initial tally on my personal stock was at about 6 pairs, so i went out and bought 7 new ones, thinking i'd cover my losses.

how wrong i was.

every single god forsaken pair i pull out from my closet has been ruthlessly assaulted to the point of unwearability.

and i feel EVERY PERSON in the universe must know this, including half my animation class.

on the up and up, i watched "the cider house rules." how strange it is! the film is really "the great hits" of the cider house novel, but it was good. i enjoyed the film. having read the book though, it seems so rushed and bluntly obvious. i still can't believe melony didn't make the cut. i have thought on it over and over and have come to the conclusion: her real purpose in the narrative was to show up at the cider house at the end of all things and set homer straight. in the film, homer figures it out for himself, thus making him more, mmm, more of a "hero" for the audience.
even from the screenplay- the film really cuts to sympathize with homer. in the script there was a scene where homer sleeps with a step sister, it was cut from the film, which is good because it makes homer, as i said, more sympathetic as well as more innocent in ways (which is a sympathetic state!).
candy and homer were perfectly cast i thought, just as i imagined them in the book. wally wasn't too bad, but didn't look a thing like the college aged blonde "prince of new england" i thought he was supposed to be.

whatever.

i adored the ending of the film, closing out with lines from david copperfield, i dare say i was moved to tears and larch's death scene was particularly well filmed.

dickens was all over the screenplay.

dickens references in cider house rules film
"little dorrit" larch tries to name a baby boy dorrit
"great expectations" homer reads it to the apple pickers
"oliver twist" larch reads it to the boys
"david copperfield" homer reads it to the boys

i really liked the soundtrack too, anyone have it for me?

suddenly i was @ 08:18 pm

wednesday, february 4, 2004

yesterday evening i had my screenwriting class.
i should post the drawing i made of myself trying to print out my novel of a script. there it was 5.52, 8 minutes before my class and i was on the floor watching my semi-archaic printer slowly (but stalwartly!) churn out page after page.
printer: meep. meep.
red light starts blinking warning me black ink is nearly spent. i pray.
printer: meep. meep.
another red light starts blinking warning me all paper is nearly spent. i fumble for spare sheets.
printer: meep. meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.
a pause.
print: meep.
me: OH SWEET JESUS!!!!
needless to say, i made it to class. granted i slid in just under the bell and everyone else was there and i promply over heated from the running over... but i made it to class.
oh, how i love screenwriting class. there are three other people who were in my last class who are again in this one retaking it like i am. there is a nice guy, rich, who was a nurse in the gulf war part I and is now against war and always has scary stories to tell, catherine who i've known for a few years from a creative writing course and jacob, who is the strangest kid, but who is very nice nce you get used to him whom i've had a class with every semester since first year first semester.
when class went on break we all met up in the hall and had a little reunion. it was so nice! i ran up to catherine and gave her a hug and then we all talked about our scripts. rich wants to do dark comedy this round (last time it was a war story), catherine is unsure and jacob wants to find a wife.
really, that's how the conversation went.
then rich said to me, "all right, tell us, where'd you take them?" (referring to my characters of the novelscript) so i gave a brief synopsis: "well kip's back..." then i realized they were all really listening and wanted elaboration, so i went on and they began to ask questions, "but what about [fill in the blank]?"
it was really magical! i didn't know anyone cared so much. it made me feel ... well... real good, baby.
then catherine more than made my night by exclaiming, "i love kip! it is so wrong, how old is he, like 11? still, i totally would marry him."
i informed her, in fact, kip is now 18 now, so technically, he's legal.
there was another kid in the class i knew, i've only had one class with him ever and it was a long time ago, but we have always both remembered each other and for the past few years whenever we would cross paths we'd wave and say, "hey!" when i slipped into class and sat down i saw he was next to me and i was excited.
i said, "hey! it's been a long time since we've had a class together!" and he said, "which class was it? 2d?" i couldn't remember, neither could he, but we both decided it was nice to extend our conversation beyond, "hey" now.
his name is bobby, a fact i forgot ages ago.
our old t.a., odie, is also t.a.ing this class as well and i love him, so that is good. yee hoo!
now i just have to come up with another concept for a script.
an easy one.
so i can finish my hard one...
ideas?
speaking of scripts, i have a cry o' help.
i gave my teacher my draft, right?
right.
he asked if it was done and with a cringe i had to confess, no. he said he would save the script then and wait until i had all of it done so he could read through it all at once.
ok...
problem: though i know where i am going and everything, i think it would behoove me to have someone read through it now as they could tell me
a. what lines etc, are bad/obvious/maulin/heavyhanded/etc
b. if the narrative structure, though long, still maintains any interest
c. opinions on certain parts i question the quality thereof.
any takers? i am tempted with (though not fully sold on) the idea of asking someone for a serious, critical reading of my piece. i decided to ask here first, otherwise i might ask my ta or, the most probably case, i will just write on to the end alone. i just want some distant reader to check it out, i don't know.
sometimes one just craves feeback.
so if anyone might be interested in a weekend read...
on another note: in my make believe script cast i would so totally hire sal mineo. he could be tamino. holy woof.

blah... must get to storyboarding...

suddenly i was @ 08:50 pm

tuesday, february 3, 2004

i just wrote this email to my teacher, but i don't think i am going to send it because for once in my life i've retained some common sense after 4 am, for this is one of those things which would mortify me tomorrow.

though- i don't know, what do you think?

"Hello this is {editedmyfullname} dropping a line at the eleventh hour before class touchdown (schwee hoo) to ask, first, if you indeed still want me to bring in my work from last semester and second (note the nervous laughter of mine which, though we be parted by e-space, you undoubtedly still hear) to say, ha! Dear me, that work is not yet done!
It’s not to say the Kip and Felix story hasn’t grown exponentially (out of control) over the break, it has (Kip is back now)! It just… well, like the beginning, moves so slowly. Also, I had such trouble plowing through the uncertain middle section of the story- I guess there is some truth in the adage, everyone has an opening, everyone has an ending, it’s the middle part that’s tough- that everything just took much longer than I expected. But since I have no grand schemes to do anything particular with this story and want to see it to completion mostly only for my own sake, I guess I don’t much care how long it is as much as I care whether or not the story is decent. I have accepted I will either have to take a battle-ax to the ponderous volume in the editing process or just tell everyone I always meant it as a mini series (like Anne of Green Gables, but with boys, says {editedmyname} to no one in particular).
The story is all that really matters though, really. I was wondering if you do read it, if you could mark a nice large x next to passages, which are exceptionally heavy handed/maudlin/horrifyingly terrible or obvious, because at this point I can’t tell what anything is anymore.

Anyhow. Yes. My two cents.

Damn it. Even my cents are long.

I’ll be in class and I promise, this next project? None of this David Copperfield (that is a reference to length, not necessarily quality mind) script nonsense. I’m capping this next baby at 97 pages. Sweet. Jesus.

Thanks for your time!"

gah! this is why teachers don't forget me, i'm a twit!

suddenly i was @ 04:23 am

sunday, february 1, 2004

today i had too much terrible fun. i woke up made a happy birthday phone call, then headed off to my friend's apt. to school her in the ways of html coding. we spent the first hour playing on the san-x website (has anyone seen a. the baby nipple character? b. the peas? if you see stationery featuring the latter, will you buy it for me?) and the next hour or so eating quiche. when we finally tackled the coding lesson, we found her computer was missing bbedit (the notepad of macos X computers) so our efforts were fruitless.
the next rest of the time, my pay off, was spent trying to cap "it's a wonderful life." i think the george bailey kid is way too cute for words and he looks like kip of my script. well, the kip of my mind.
anyway, we couldn't do it from the dvd player program nor could we import it into any other program (not even photoshop... imagine that...). we even copied the whole movie to her desktop in an effort to... i'm not sure... get her a copy of the film. finally she remembered she had a vcd player and when we ran the movie through that, guess what? we could cap.
the player, as it was a free one, however, was a bit- uh, sub par and was an absolute pain to pause and would not facilitate frame by frame viewing. so capping was an arbitrary act of mouse clicking and me hoping the frame clicked would be a good one.
this took some, several hours.
time flies when you're with mini george.
afterward, i further took advantage of my friend's good graces by using her roommate (and my other friend) for a ride to blockbuster (where i successfully rented "cider house rules") and later to the train station.
WOOT.
and now i am home, a mere, 8 hours later.
i have to script now but really want to watch bad tv. there was just a music video on from "lion king .5." would you all lose respect for me if i told you i want to see that movie? the song was "rhythm in the grass" which reminds me of my internship and sunset boulevard because they played that song on the radio there at least 4 times during my ride home. this version, however, was sung by raven, who i have to say, is very pretty. she is curvy and that is so refreshing to see. i want to say i despise her for her teenybopper stardomhood, but i can't. that is reserved for only the likes of hillary duff.
shudder.
off to script!

suddenly i was @ 10:39 pm

yes, i finally got my mitts on the screenplay version of "the cider house rules." it's very interesting. my first and foremost thought is MARY AGNES!? is she replacing melony's presence? i think she might be. melony has made no appearence. i can't believe it. MARY AGNES. the peripheral character of the novel who worshipped melony gives her the boot in the movie. worse, she's described as "tough but pretty." man! i liked melony because she was this huge thunderous girl who was not be any stretch of the imagination, "pretty."
also, homer is an angst ball in the screenplay. i mean, he had mini angst moments in the novel, but for the most part he was pretty, "duuuuuuuuuuuuuur" about most things and really went along with whatever was thrown his way. even when he argued with larch about abortion it wasn't an ariel teenage argument, he just stated it plainly, "you can do it, i just won't."
larch, however, comes off as quite nice and i am enjoying his adaptation. the screenplay starts off with him being openly sweet with the children, whereas in the novel it was in his decline he started to "warm up," because he missed homer.
and THANK GOD wally is intact, god i love that dude.

in the foreword irving said there were four contending directors wanting the film and for each he wrote a slightly different screenplay; one cut the candy homer affair compleatly, the other focussed heavily on the selfsame romance, the third played up a romance between homer and rose rose (ack! that was angel before) and the last (lasse hallstrom, or however you spell his name) who got the picture, wanted the key relationship to be between homer and larch, which irving said is how it should be.

my favourite scenes thus far:

larch tries to name a baby little dorrit. it was usually homer who named the infants dickensian names (which is funny in the screenplay because steerforth and copperfield are quite old, in the case of the latter, homer would of had to have delivered him when he was 6, but whatever). the baby cries and homer says it's because the baby is a boy and doesn't want to be named "little dorrit" because little dorrit was a girl. it's cute. dickens is laced throughout the screenplay. both "david copperfield" and "oliver twist" are read aloud to the children.

curly day is standing inside with a suitcase because he thought a couple who visited might choose him for adoption. when he wasn't picked, curly went inside and cried. homer finds him and tells him he is the best and couldn't be given away to just anyone. then picks up curly and takes him to bed. this works nicely for later when curly is intent on telling candy and wally (who are there for an abortion, not an adoption) he is the best and they should adopt him.

a small scene when larch is talking to fuzzy stone. the orphanage has a film copy of "king kong" the children had just watched. while watching it fuzzy was convinced kong thought the woman was his mother and that's why he wanted her because he loved her. it was interesting, i'm not certain what the connotations of the scene are, but larch was very sweet in it. funny also, because there were no films in the orphanage of the novel. homer had never seen a movie until he met candy and wally who took him to the drivein.

this is just the shooting script too, which means editting took place in the final film and changes were made thereafter to the initial copy of the script was ok-ed. i have to find the movie to finish my edjoomacation in adaptation.

and i'm free... like the wind... like i'm gonna live forevah! <-- listening to santa fe. go newsies!

i have to go meet my friend, i am so late!

suddenly i was @ 12:55 pm

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