:: and suddenly i'm archived::

Today started off badly. The phone rang as I was on my way out the door to work, I answered it and it was someone for my mother. My mom is really sick, caught something awful up at Sunadance. So I said she couldn’t come to the phone, but my mom croaked from her room she could, so I passed the receiver off to her.
Only to find out, it was her job calling to lay her off. Apparently since I live in the only other place, save California, which enforces an “at will” clause in employment matters, the person who had my mom’s job returned wanting her job back—and the people gave it to her and laid off my mom.
It upset me all day. I can’t stop obsessing over what we are going to do. There has been seriously rumor in the air we might have to give up our house for something less and now that prophecy might come to fruition, which is really not what I want to see. We’ve worked for so long to make out house beautiful and now we will never get to enjoy it. I don’t know what we’re going to do.

suddenly i was @ 11:36 pm
(no feathers)

monday, january 31, 2005

I feel so money right now. SO MONEY. I just got out from the tub (compleat with scented bubble bath) and reading the script to “Swingers.” God I love that movie. Nothing like reading a little screenwriting while you prune. The last time I felt so “money” was when I was in CA reading some scripts poolside. Though that was less money and more L.A., which isn’t quite as neat, especially since I wasn’t in L.A. Where was I? Newport? Costa del Mar? Pollo del Mar? I don’t know.
I am in a very jazzed mood. I am gearing up for my new script. I am clearing my platter of all other possible distractions. I have one week (since I farted around so long deciding which story to go with) to jam in all my research. I am so excited to get started. Granted the excitement will last for only a short amount of time before dissipating into a puddle of plot angst: “Where do I go from here?!”
I love reading scripts. I want to find a couple more to read, but had to make a visa payment first (I like buying old copies than reading online, more expensive I know, but I don’t know, makes me feel more authentic or something equally as lame).
It’s reassuring to read scripts as well. I think, “I could do this! I can!”
Don’t get me wrong. Everything I do I still consider crap. Crap. If I think it is, it won’t hurt so much when someone else tells me the same, but at the same time I read these other published scripts and think, “this isn’t so far off from what I’m doing.”
It’s like when you start watching short films (etc) which have made it and realize, “Wow. People in my class were doing things just like this.” – Better in come cases. The only difference is this person A has “made it” or at least, their work has been seen as opposed to “people I know” or myself, whose work- sits and rots.
Hmm.
There’s a moral there somewhere.
I am a rainbow of feelings towards my own work. 99 percent of the time (read, right now even, now that I have been talking about it) I don’t care for it. It can be better. Should be better and isn’t nearly as good as what I consider “good.” I don’t know. I just like doing it. I guess that’s all that really matters.
At any rate, I don’t want it to seem like I am an ego baster to my own pathetic cause. This script, “Singers” was an interesting read. It was my first modern read. The first script I purchase for “research” was, of course, “It’s A Wonderful Life,” which, in and of itself was a good read- but a little archaic for studying needs, breaking several “rules” of modern screenwriting standards. I had the third draft of “Swingers.” It was interesting to see what was cut. The last scene, with Trent and Mike in the café, where Trent picks up vibes from the redhead who turns out to be talking to a baby- totally not in the script. Though I think I remember hearing from some interview with Favreau, that the scene was a last minute add. Also the conversation with the answer machine- in the film it’s a early joke which never really relates to anything else later in the picture. In the script, Mike has an ongoing chat with the answer machine the entire story.
There were also moments of genius script (or film) editing. Scene which were written longer in the text, then cut short (for the better) in the final film. Read: the montage scene. Thank you whoever cut it.
I don’t know, I find it all very, very fun and interesting. What movies should I get next? I was thinking “American Beauty” and “Iron Giant” or something.

P.S. Scorsese is making a documentary on Bob Dylan. Join me in my chorus of hesitant, “hoorays?” The film is to focus on Bob’s career in the early 60’s. AKA the best Bob years. We can totally bypass glam Bob of the 70’s and bloated Bob of the 80’s, not to mention Christian Bob. Folkie Bob and Cool Cat Bob, that works for me.

P.P.S. Has anyone heard of “Bright Eyes?” He’s indie rock’s favourite prodigy. He’s described as the “New Dylan.” I think he’s nice, I like his stuff.

P.P.P.S. There is nothing like reading the IMDB message boards. Every board, every post ends up in a fight.

P.P.P.P.S. Jimmy Stuart was in Feivel Goes West!?

suddenly i was @ 12:07 am
(no feathers)

wednesday, january 26, 2005

Ok. This is almost ridiculous. I have been debating and debating, tearing my hair out at the roots trying to decide on my next story to write. I gather a sparse few opinions. I even wrote up an incredibly elaborate outline pitching each idea in the hopes of posting it on livejournal for feedback, only to hold back, too much the creative coward to expose my neophyte ideas in their most naked, vulnerable state and eventually make up my mind by myself. I chose the plot no one else (of the handful I asked) voted for, because I am, a. indifferent b. very excited about it.
I kept hemming and hawing over whether or not I should do it. It goes back in time to become something more of a period piece because I have become so fascinated with the American Italian Immigration of the late 1800’s. I know I should steer away from such things. I tell myself, you must write cheaply if you ever have hopes of getting something out there (a nobody doesn’t make a “Titanic”). Then I think, “NO.” I write for myself. Which is true. I don’t write anything unless I find it interesting and I don’t care what the prospective budget is. People should create anything to be marketable, they should create something they love- and if they’re lucky it will become marketable (look at Spike Jonze and Charlie Kaufman). I don’t know. It’s a story which is different from anything else I have done. I can’t stop thinking about it; I walk down the hall at work and think of words, I drive home and think of characters, I read books to study for it, watch documentaries, read memoirs, dream about it. The other ideas, I could write well enough, they are more plotted out, more “marketable,” but writing one, to me- would feel more like I was just hammering one out. – Though truth be told, the last two I felt I was hammering out and they were better scripts than my first- but is that because with each one I learn more- or is it lack of passion?
But while I’m just sitting around I might as well write something which gives me joy. I like to think when I like something, it seems genuine to other readers. I can’t tell. I don’t see anything in my own work. I read it and think, “How could anyone ever like this?” but then people say they do, but I can’t tell if it’s because they are too kind to me or if they really do. Anything all of this is leading out to a desperate plea for help.

Come on hit me. I only have a few days to inspire myself. Tell me. I need some movies, books, short films, short stories, what have you. I am looking for anything which deals with love affairs. Not the Lifetime sort, but rather, more sympathetic affairs, where you are not inclined to be angry with any party and for the most part it’s almost just sad (example: “English Patient” says Casey). I am also looking for any relationships where there is a large age gap between the two participants, like: “American Beauty, “ “Ghost World,” “Lost in Translation,” “Lolita,” “Harold and Maude” et al. The less salacious the better, but I will take them all. I want to see all angles of this idea.

Ask around for me? Anything? Please?

suddenly i was @ 11:23 pm
(no feathers)

Oh it is so late. I just got back from the Sundance Film Festival again. I really didn’t want to go tonight at about 5 PM, because I knew this would happen. 2 AM, on a work day. It’s one thing to pull an all nighter for school, but I can’t do it with work. I am very capable of going on zombie mode and looking physically conscious, but at work I need to be actually mentally with it which 2 hours of sleep doesn’t normally condone.

Anyhow. I am two for two with Mister Jamie Bell. Tonight with Casey, I saw “Chumscrubber, which starred Jamie Bell, Glenn Close, Ralph Fiennes, Jason Isaacs, Carrie-Anne Moss, Rita Wilson and a slew of other people. We went for Casey, in the hopes of catching a glimpse of her idol Ms. Moss. We actually got tickets (hooray for the Mommy Connection!) but alas, I failed Casey, to whom I promised, “you got me to Mo, I will get you to Carrie-Anne.” Moss was not in attendance with the entourage. I was very much sad for Casey, but I told her at least we’re moving up in the world, last year we didn’t even get into the Famke Janssen (idol number 2) film.

This film though, wow. I am three for three on amazing films! No matter what I see next it will have to be a dud because such a brilliant streak, it’s against the laws of nature, cannot continue on in such a manner. Jamie Bell, again was excellent.
Brand me.
I will be a devout fan of him from here on out. I think he is an amazingly talented actor. The world will know soon enough when he appears in Peter Jackson’s “King Kong.” Great presence. Acts with his entire body. Doesn’t say a word and let’s his face say everything. For a kid who just happened to be a dancer in Billingham, he is pretty damn spectacular. My best to him and may he continue to pick up wild movies written by the likes of Lars von Trier and Zac Stanford.
The movie was fun, it was the best Q&A I’ve attended yet (and it was still far from stellar). The director, Arie Posin, was by far the most articulate filmmaker and I wish I was him. This is his first film and look at the talent attached to it. Filmed for a song in Valencia and he has his amazing bit of work. Go him.

Anyhow. Very well indeed. I still swear I will get into “On a Clear Day,” not for actor spotting purposes at this point (especially at this point, I believe the movie has played three times, I doubt very much much of its workforce is still here for Q&A’s), but for the mere principle of the matter. I can’t believe I haven’t gotten in yet. Usually I can find the Sundance magics.

Oh it’s so late.

Last night, as a closing thought, I had a very strange dream. Last night I was watching clips of Johnny Carson (R.I.P.). The television played clips of him interviewing James Stewart (played George Bailey as A FEW OF YOU [read 99.99 percent of my friends list apparently] WILL NEVER REALIZE [your lives are less]). Stewart, in 1980, I believe, wrote a book of poetry and there are a few famous scenes from the Tonight Show of him reading his poems to Carson (one very, very touching tribute to a dog). At one point Stewart jokes around and makes up a little poem about going to visit a lake- the poem goes along …something something, looked like a sheet of glass- “but getting to lake (name) is a genuine pain in the ASS.” It was very funny because at the time the censors bleeped the word, “ass,” but Jimmy Stewart? His discretion was left raw and unbleeped.
Anyhow. So I watched this and went to bed. Then I had this complicated dream wherein I found out James Stewart was up at Sundance. I was so excited. I can’t even tell you. I kept thinking, “I can’t wait to tell him I think he is so fabulous. I will- I CAN’T believe no one told me he would be up there!” The whole dream I spent my time trying to get up to Sundance. Then I woke up in the morning, still slightly excited about Stewart’s being up just moments away when it slowly came to me: no… James Stewart isn’t up at Sundance… James Stewart isn’t even with us any more.

Then I was really, profoundly sad.

suddenly i was @ 03:13 am
(no feathers)

monday, january 24, 2005

What an insane day.

Today was my first work review. For you youngsters, it’s like a job midterm. You’re called into your boss’ room and they tell you what you have done well (or not) and, if your company has done well you might get a raise or bonus.
I ended up with both! I got a raise and this bonus… oh my god guys.
I was so nervous. I was the last review of the day and after each of their reviews, my coworkers would walk in and say, “on a scale of 1 to 10, this is an 11.” Or “don’t worry, you’ll be able to get your ipod with this bonus.”
My one coworker actually cried because the amount was so much more than was expected.
I knew things were supposed to be good, because the marketing team (I am a part of this) had made all of their goals, ten-fold and there wa-s well, I don’t know if I can give numbers, but more than a million dollars to divvy out.
By the time I got inside the boss’ office I was literally about to pass out. When I heard my figure- my bonus. Well, I can see why Mimi cried. I think I heard wrong. I am 99 percent certain I must have heard wrong. If, IF, the figure I heard is right (and I think it is ten times less) I literally could pay off my new computer, buy an ipod and still more than double my current bank balance (which is more than 37 cents). As it stands, IF what I heard was right, before taxes (which will eat a good chunk I hear), I will quadruple what I have in the bank now.
I can’t believe it. I won’t tell anyone the number until I see it on paper because I think it is wrong.

So! That was neat.

Also, today my mom met Sean Astin (who also has a movie up at Sundance along with Boyd, Wood and Holm). She said he was very, very nice and gracious. He was up with his family, looked husky and had a 10 o’clock shadow.

Tonight is my company’s LOTR actor party. I hope someone gets a picture of someone in front of the poster I designed. That would make me laugh.

Ah, dinner!

I run.

suddenly i was @ 08:59 pm
(no feathers)

sunday, january 23, 2005

I just got back from a day at Sundance. I love going to that festival. It’s full of people who like movies and tired bodies who are willing to brave fog and ice to sit in a Wait List line to get into one.
I didn’t see Boyd, obviously. Or the subject heading of this entry would have been: BOYD! His film is playing in the small venues which are harder to get into for lack of seating. Compare library: seats 15, Eccles: seats 120. Makes a difference.

I saw other two really great movies instead. This is special- two good ones in a row. There’s nothing worse than going to Sundance and sitting through a real dog of a film. Oh, there was one last year… this Italian one…

Like watching paint dry.

Today the first film was Dear Wendy, which starred Jamie Bell. He was the Billy in “Billy Elliot.” I was so excited when I heard Bell was in the film. I love that kid. Fan-forkin’-tastic. He is a great actor. Whenever he is in a role, he completely physically fills the character. You guys may recall sometime last year when I wrote up on him being Smike in “Nicholas Nickleby” (see here), talking about his physical performance. Bell was actually brought up as a dancer and I swear to god it shows. He is in tune with what his body does and can, manipulate to be, I don’t know, a secondary performance supporting and embellishing his vocal one.
Hmm and according to his IMDB filmography I have seen just about every Jamie Bell film there is.
What a wonderful young actor though; if I was to go bananas over anyone remotely close to my own age (read: someone, not mo) it would be someone like this. He has great talent. If I was casting for Felix (HAR) someone like this would play him. I just think he is, well I’ve all ready said it. Fan-forkin’-tastic.
I was three steps from walking over and shaking his hand to tell him so in person.
Anyhow. This film. I hope it sees a general release. More so because that means I shall later get a chance to purchase it. It was very strange. The writer is Lars von Trier who wrote “The Kingdom” (which is being remade now, don’t see it. See the original). He has a bizarre and wonderful style with his work. “Dear Wendy” encapsulated so many themes- America’s fascination with fire arms, the current “War,” the gun as phallic symbol (do we THINK it’s a coincidence the protagonist’s name is “Dick?”), it harkened to mind films like “Clockwork Orange”- then you give it a Zombie’s soundtrack?
I was mind blown.
It had one or two funny bumps in the narrative, but I really enjoyed it. It was something different.

The next film was The Upside of Anger. Kevin Costner was one of the stars, so it too was a big deal to-do to get inside the theatre (hurrah for friends in the box office). There were so many photographers. Joan Allen was the other star, plus the Felicity girl and the other girl from “Thirteen.”
This movie is much more mainstream and has been slotted for general release.
This really isn’t my sort of film. It’s a melodrama, the mere mention of which almost makes me cringe, but the actors were so fabulous. Joan Allen, good lord and Costner! Nailed it. It was an actor’s movie. The story, though a little “Terms of Endearment” was well written. It has some of the best lines.

Costner: Well...
Allen: Well?
Costner: Well…
(long pause)
I hadn’t really thought through to the end of that thought.

Great writing. Great acting. Probably nothing I will see again, but I will definitely, you too, be hearing about it in the next couple of months.

Festivals are fun because audiences get so into the movie. These are the enthusiasts. The ones whose hands froze to their Starbucks cups as they waited in the Wait List line. “The Upside” audience was great. They were wholly involved with the film and asked good questions when came the Q&A.
Q&A’s always make me nervous. I’m always afraid someone will ask a lame stupid question. Or, like last year with Salma Hayeck, ask the star of the film for an autograph.
The Q&A’s this round- though no one asked anything particularly embarrassing, were still rather dead.
With Vinterberg (director of “Dear Wendy”), I am giving him some lead way because he was Danish. Maybe something was lost in the translation. He would rattle on for ages, about the lamest topic, then at the very end he said, “There is also the political message surrounding this film, but we will talk about that another day!”
The audience screams.
That’s what the after session is for! To talk about your work.
It always amazes me how inarticulate the directors et al are when it comes to discussing their own work.
Jamie Bell ended up answering most of the questions for “Dear Wendy.” I think he really liked the podium. There was also this precious moment: someone asked if the boys had actually shot guns as there were several in the film. Bell said they did and this and that and at the end how they became attached to what they worked with, because through the whole film they had “been touching their weapons.”

Me alone in the theatre: HAR.
Bell: … No pun intended…

Hot.

The other Q&A session was a little better. Costner was great at pulling everyone else to the forefront. He was the biggest name attached to the film, so everyone wanted to ask him questions, but he kept pulling the others forward. He seemed very nice. Afterward he talked to the volunteers and gave them hugs.

Aw.

I am very, very tired. I don’t think I am making much sense so I think I shall be off. But yes! Like a blister at Sundance…

suddenly i was @ 01:21 am
(no feathers)

saturday, january 22, 2005

who's going to get me a screen cap of mo with spongebob?

anyone?

bueller?

suddenly i was @ 12:41 am
(no feathers)

friday, january 21, 2005

Well it's about time. Finally. A year with plentiful Mo. Hillary, you were right. 97 was so money. My favourite mo-ment? When he fell out of his chair.
Actually, check that. When he quoted "Conair." That was this side of fantasy. My family has been repeating that same line, if Vh1 is to be believed, for nearly a decade now. My dad brought home that movie- the WORST ever made- and when Nicholas Cage, in his wife beater, actually said the line, "Put the bunny down" he was stripped of all movie choosing privileges for the next six years.
Actually Mo opted for the variant line: "Put the bunny in the box," but I feel the magic was still there.

I love when my sister invites her boyfriend over without telling anyone. It's pushing midnight. I am trying to absorb the vast, deepness of Vh1 in my bathrobe and sopping hair and- oh hey, Mars how are you?
There's company sitting next to me and all I can think is, "I don't have a shirt on under my robe." over and over and over- for that's my preferred method of watching Vh1, free and unhindered.
I mean I had pants, socks and garters on, the essentials, and my robe is about twelve inches thick, goes to my ankles- but usually I like to greet guests, I don't know, without the morbid fear of a sudden gust of wind instilled into my soul.

So Sundance started today. The Jibjab.com folks did all of the opening film animations. My mom hobnobbed with Tobey Maguire (shiny track suit and a beard if you're looking), Robert Ebert and Glenn Close and I am no closer to my company sponsored LOTR tent fiesta which happens on Monday. I hope I can see a few (dozen) films this weekend.
Que sera, sera.

One final deep question: has, when or where (did) this film come out? <- Watch for Mo ("This is clearly a hoax").

I remember hearing about it, but I didn't think it was released, yet lo! IMDB claims it came out clear back in 04. Who knew? Maybe it was complete in 04 but hasn't seen a general release yet. Hmm. The production site says it's "soon to be released." Should I write the executive producer?

Me: Hi. I'm not wearing a shirt under my robe.

Hey, hey. Nevar mind, Mister E. Producer. Me mum bought me an 05 Sundance shirt. Excuse me while I change out of this robe!

suddenly i was @ 01:43 am
(no feathers)

thursday, january 20, 2005

Oh my god, oh my god, I am so excited! I just found out who the new “Artful Dodger” is in Polanski’s Oliver Twist set for release later this year: Harry Eden.

Whom, you ask?

Nibs.

Again.

Dear God. On that last one I inadvertently ended up on “JeremySumpter.com” while at work. I don’t want to know what the I.T. folks who track office internet activity are thinking.

Anyhow. I’m pleased. Not, Jack Wild but is anyone really Jack Wild? Really.
But he has the appropriate monkey-ish imp look to him. I will have to watch “Peter Pan” again to see if his screen presence can live to fulfill my greatest hopes.
I wish Slightly was in “Oliver Twist,” that kid was adorable.

I’m excited for this film. SO excited. A. Dickens in a movie, we haven’t had a proper one in ages. B. Polanski is actually a decent filmmaker so it might actually be decent. C. My fanlisting might see some action. Woo.

Even Charley is going to in the film. Mister Fang! I love it. It looks like Polanski is going to be faithful to the novel. Or at least give all the characters a cameo.

Look at Bet’s real name: Ophelia Lovibond. Hot!

And to close.

suddenly i was @ 07:53 pm
(no feathers)

wednesday, january 19, 2005

This week has been somewhat arduous. Yesterday, the day from HECKYES, my innards decided it was high time to start writhing and twisting putting me in compleat agony as a learned a new number system. And you know how I am with numbers normally!

Me Yesterday: 20050118, 24- ow. 20050118, I mean, 20050120, 2- ow. Ow. 2005…

Casey the other day reminded me of “I Love the 90’s Part Duex” premiering on Vh1. Since Vh1 is my visual heroin of choice, of course I am now addicted again. Sad to say however, there is a great, gaping void of Mo in the whole presentation, an absence I feel all too keenly. In “I Love 94” Mo made but one, ONE single appearance.
I suppose his nonattendance is in part due to his book tour which was been taking place all the while “I Love the 90’s” was being shot. In which case, I suppose I can get over (with therapy) his missing from the series, because seeing Mo dance live in yellow pants is better than, yes, even “I Love the 90’s.” My life is less for the lack of Mo on Vh1, yet at the same time it was enriched by the book tour. There’s a time for love, a time for hate, a time for peace, I swear it’s not too late.
It all balances out in the end. I’m breaking even here.
In lieu of Mo, however, from the ashes of Rocca, rises a new star: Michael Ian Black. He was always one of the best. Always a favourite, but he is now, undeniably THE star of the “I Love the…” series. For me the powerhouses of the show are: Michael Ian Black, Racheal Harris, Hal Sparks and Loni Love.
Still, I miss dear Mo!

I did enjoy his mini version of “Cop Killer.”

Oh shiz. I just spilled yogurt all over myself. Nice. I love having a pink pile of gelatinous sludge right down the middle of my shirt. Hot. This is why I have like a million dates every day.

The Sundance Film Festival begins this weekend. Purportedly Billy Boyd is supposed to be at the Sundance premiere on Friday since he is in a film which is playing there. I am trying to finagle someway to get into the building. Since it’s the big opener tickets and vouchers are a little hard to come by, so here’s hoping Mommy’s friends, the Theatre Management Team, can help me out or if she can herself if the same film premieres up in Park City.
I have a huge poster I made up at Sundance. If anyone is there in Park City along Main Street and sees a giant poster with Michelangelo’s David modeling with a purse- that’s mine, unless it looks like crap. In which case, it belongs to someone else.

AH, work. Must get back to it. We just had a meeting. It sounds very exciting. The company made all of its goals something ten fold and we’re getting beaucoup bonuses this year. I’ve never had a bonus before. I wonder if I can get something exciting with it? Or pay off Guildenstern faster.
We’re also having reviews. These, terrify me. The managers were told to be tough. Meep.

Oh my god. Overstock is sponsoring a booth for the LOTR actors present at Sundance. There was an extra ticket- why wasn’t I invited? It went out to lotto. I made the David poster! I have to tell my mom Viggo is going to be there. She will squee herself, I’m sure.

Now if MO was there…

Oh dear god... aim isn't functioning?

suddenly i was @ 08:17 pm

monday, january 17, 2005

first thing first: w.g..

must keep that front and center for it is the most important thing. i have heard tale many have all ready joined. this excites me. tell your friends and family and receive a free gift! (with proof of purchase.)

second thing second however. i can screencap now. of course, mini george had to be my maiden voyage into the realm, but oh my god the possibilities!

what am i going to do with it?

suddenly i was @ 12:45 am

sunday, january 16, 2005

I seriously signed up for this back in the Walter Gaymania days, but here it is! The Official Fanlisting for Walter Gay.

I expect all of you to join of course. I have no morals. You don't have to put up the code. Heck, don't even use your real name or email or country. Just join on up! The site was made mostly to amuse you and me.

Anyhow, check it out. Tell me what you think. Also, did you guys want me to post your Walter drawings there as well?

suddenly i was @ 08:30 pm

this is what i learned when livejournal was down:

hi. i spend too much time on livejournal.

there is really absolutely nothing else on the internet as far as i am concerned. i am glad it is back and a warm thank you to all those who made it possible. i cannot even imagine the work which went into bringing this database back up.

here's some other news: i have a new computer! the brand new imac. it is tres glorious. it's so amazing to be on a machine which doesn't crash every ten seconds and one where i don't have to constantly think, "is there room to save this word file?"
i am a little disappointed though; the screen on this new machine is so much more advanced than anything i have ever had i was shocked and horrified to my SOUL. why didn't anyone tell me all my sites look like teh shiz? they look awful! i am ashamed i put them on the internet. they make it look like i don't know how to blend it photoshop. i am so embarrassed.

anyhow. yay. livejournal.

yay. computer. whose name is guildenstern, by the bye, after those we've loved and lost.

suddenly i was @ 02:25 pm

monday, january 10, 2005

GUY: So the man takes off his wedding ring and puts it onto a map and says, “Now I can’t be with any woman inside this circle,” meaning the ring, but then he swirls his hand all over the map around the ring and says, “But all the women outside of this circle…”

Laugher.

GIRL: Oh that’s terrible.

GUY: How’s that?

GUY 2: Well from what I understand about the conventions of marriage, it’s not really right, is it? Take my parents. They’ve been married twenty-five years.

Impressed murmur.

GUY 2: My dad, he always says, “It’s been 25 years, but it’s felt like 25 minutes…”

Poignant pause.

GUY 2: “Underwater.”

suddenly i was @ 09:57 pm

i just purchased a new computer- a brand spanking new wireless imac G5!

suddenly i was @ 01:51 am

wednesday, january 5, 2005

Conversations into the Ether

My sister and I on “I, Robot”

ROBOT: Are we friends?
ME (for Will Smith): NO.
Will Smith puts out his hand to the Robot.
SISTER (for Will Smith): We’re like brothers biatch.

I watched “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind” again last night. Wow. Watching movies from the depths of my blue funk at the beginning of 2005 perhaps was not the best way to enjoy a film. I absolutely adored the movie my second time through, it was a completely different experience all together. I was practically moved to tears. I think my dad summed everything up in his one statement of the film.

DAD: That’s so sweet.

This said, I am very excited to watch “Garden State” again. Maybe this time I will love it like everyone else! Bounce. I can join the rising tide of conformity! – Though, I confess nothing short of a miracle will make Sam less annoying to me. So here’s hoping.

Speaking of strange love stories. I thought of the perfect date while at work the other day. I do nothing but fantasize at work. I am at work now waiting for my next assignment.

COWORKER: Hey, what’s going on in here?
ME: What, where? Fantasizing in progress, busy, busy, busy!

I want to share with you all my perfect date, but I am afraid if I tell you, like a wish, it won’t come true. Maybe if I just told you bits? That way I’m not telling all of it and then it might still come to pass (like wind).
All I am at liberty to say is this: Hamlet.

HOW TO ACHIEVE PERFECT DATE

That is all.

suddenly i was @ 11:27 pm

sunday, january 2, 2005

I had a strange dream the other night.

I was riding a bike with a person I actually know in real life, who I will call “Biker” for the sake of this entry. We were riding our bike Pedro and Napoleon style (see here). Biker was pedaling and I was hitching in back, standing on the bike’s shocks. We were riding through the avenues talking about people we could see in the windows of houses we passed. The sun was shining and it was very nice outside.
We got on the subject of some newly married couple we had just seen.
Biker was the first to mention the new couple didn’t seem to like each other too much.
I said, “Perhaps one of them is closeted.”
Biker thought for a moment then laughed and said, “In this neighborhood, I wouldn’t doubt it.”
It was silent for a moment and we rode along. I watched the sunlight glint through the leaves of the trees overhead.
Biker then said, “It’s amazing how many girls get confused like that.”
I didn’t follow, “What?”
Biker inhaled to explain, “It’s amazing how many girls will get confused and think someone likes them just because they want to be liked.”
There was a short pause then Biker continued, “I just hope, if someone chooses to like me, they will just come out and tell me.”
“How so?” I asked.
“How so?” Biker repeated back at me.
“How would you like someone to tell you that they liked you?”
There was a long silence then Biker smiled and stopped the bike. I looked up, “Oh.” We were at my house (it was actually my friend Daphna’s but close enough for a dream).
I got off the bike and ran across the street. I kept looking over my shoulder and waving to Biker.

The dream from there on out rapidly fell apart as I woke up. The scene morphed and a girl I knew in the 7th grade whose last name was “Gross,” wandered in and out from nowhere.

Anyhow. Strange. What do you think it means?

suddenly i was @ 03:48 pm

Today was one of those perpetual low blood sugar anemic sort of days.
FINE way to start of 2005 I think. I didn’t roll out of bed until close to 2 pm (hot), I then sat around for another 40 minutes and thought about things before finally moving down stairs to draw. By 9 pm I was having dinner, soup, and spilled some all down the front of me and my should-be-crawling-on-their-own-now sweats. It looked like I had vomited on myself.
I remember thinking, “This so perfectly sums up my day.”

I just watched two films I had heard way too much about: “Garden State” and “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.”
I say “too much” because I am a very, exceedingly simple person whose opinions are very easily swayed. When I hear something is genius, the best film some other person has ever seen, my expectations are sky high. When I actually see that picture, I don’t care if indeed, it is the greatest film yet made, because nothing, nothing can ever match my expectations for it. Nothing.
Many great films have been ruined this way. “The Incredibles” is one such example.
The moral here is: please, if you like a film, just don’t rave on and on about it to me because you will ruin it.

This said, I really liked both movies, “Garden State” and “Eternal Sunshine.” Neither as much as I wanted to, but just because I do not passionately love something does not make me blind to its other fine qualities. Even if I don’t like something I can still recognize it’s good.

I had heard more about “Eternal Sunshine” than “Garden State.” From kids in my screenwriting class to my dad, everyone liked- no, LOVED this movie. I had heard things about the story, the visuals- I had what the whole film was supposed to look like and plotted out in my head ten times over before I ever came close to seeing it.
Needless to say, the film didn’t look anything like I thought, there were no Kylies running around and Jim Carrey totally wasn’t a psychologist either.
Who knew?

The story was amazing. The seeming endless vat of Charlie Kaufman’s (“Being John Malkovich,” “Adaptation”) creativity never ceases to amaze me. How does he come up with his ideas? I also wonder how he kept track of the plot in “Eternal Sunshine.” How much of it was editing big chunks into smaller pieces?
The plot was not exactly what I thought it would be but it was insane and great. I loved certain visuals (ie Carrey walking out of a Barnes and Noble into his friends’ living room) even though they were not nearly as outlandish as I had dreamed.
Good stuff. Nothing what I imagined, but good.

Two negative points:
The music bugged me.
Kate Winslet’s character (details later)

“Garden State.” Classic Miramax. God, I love Miramax. Of all the big film houses I could have interned for, I am glad it was Miramax. There is a certain indie quality to their quintessential films: “Swingers,” “Good Will Hunting” – “Garden State” included.
I hope they don’t die. Miramax has been floundering a while. They were being pressured by Disney when I was there last summer. Getting pressed by the giant thumb. I hope they pull it through, they are a much more interesting company than all the other big houses in Hollywood.

I loved the way this movie was shot. Beautifully done. The colours were insanely bright. I mean, I had to hold myself back for want of licking the screen in the hopes the image it was playing back might taste like Jolly Ranchers.
Loved the Zach Braff character. Andrew Largeman. Just look at his name: Largeman. I have a thing for vaguely meaningful names. If you break it down further, the name Andrew means “man,” so this name all together is: “Man Large Man.”
Largeman reminded me very much of Benjamin Braddock in “The Graduate” (one of my favourite films) and I think I liked him because I could relate to certain parts of his character (minus the Padme, East Coast, rich kids, drug bits). You know those parts in the movie when the world zips around Braff and he just sits there still? That is how I feel 99.9 percent of the time when I am at home. Completely numb and devoid of anything.
Which probably not a good thing.
I thought the infinite abyss scene was nice. The overly, I don’t know… “real” dialogue, like, you know, like, bothered me, you know? - but I loved Braff’s talk about going home and finding out it’s no longer home; again because, I guess, I know what he’s talking about now.
I think my biggest beef (or soy substitute) with this film was Portman’s character. I thought Winslet as Clementine in “Eternal Sunshine” was annoying. Boy howdy, was I wrong. I could not fully appreciate or get into “Garden State” because I could not get around how annoying “Sam” was. The only bits of the film I really enjoyed were the ones when she was A. absent. B. silent. C. all of the above.
I can’t stand that sort of character. The talk-fast-look-at-me-I’m-so-kooky character. I ooze blithe innocence and frivolity with my boppy music, dyed hair (in Winslet’s case) and bare feet- and I am here to CHANGE YOUR LIFE baby.
Please.
She did nothing for me but make me wince in pain and wonder when her scene would end.
Braff must like her sort though; I didn’t realize he wrote and directed this film. I always think reading someone’s writing takes you right to the core of their personality- and if it doesn’t, it should.
In my screenwriting class I used to like to look at everyone’s main characters. Take for example one “kid” (he was much older than me); he was a solider in Desert Storm Part I. His first script was the story of a soldier committing suicide. The whole plot is his last complicated instantaneous thought before death (ala “An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge”). In his last thought it went through the story of a soldier who was bothered by pre-post-traumatic stress disorder. His second story was about a comic book artist whose hit comic’s rights were sold out from underneath him. For the rest of the story the comic book artist deals with dream s of being his violent comic book character taking care of bidnezz while his real self sits back and is depressed.
Looking at these characters and stories, in my HIGHLY QUALIFIED (smell that? That’s sarcasm baby) opinion, makes me think, this guy, my friend, is a good laid back guy in life, who is troubled by thoughts and memories and if he’s not careful, might get stuck in replaying them.
Another writer in my class wrote a very funny character. The character never really spoke, but had elaborate illusions of greatness, but when he tried to say anything out loud no one would ever stop to listen or would think he was joking or would think him insane, so rather than divulge much, he just continued quietly along his way and in the end he made his masterpiece and found people to appreciate it.
That one is pretty self-explanatory
In my case. My characters. I don’t know what they say. I’m nice. People like me, but I rather let things happen for/to me than instigate anything and I am too afraid to say anything for the fear people might think negatively of me.
I don’t know.
Maybe characters mean nothing.
I hope that Braff doesn’t really feel like Largeman when going home (Largeman was also an actor and Braff really is from New Jersey though, you’ll note).
It’s like the artist thing. Look at people’s drawings; the eyes in the drawings are always the artists’ eyes,
But back to “Garden State.”
Braff is one talented young man. Like I was saying just because I don’t like something doesn’t mean I can’t tell if it was better than the norm. Very talented, he did a great job with this entire project I think. The dialogue though I didn’t like it, was real and natural, his take on the main character was the best part of the picture- and he directs?
Hoo. He’s all that and the proverbial bag of chips. No wonder the cousbian likes him and his fine lips (p.s. Braff also has a nice dewlap).
We’ll see how he keeps it up. He has a new film he has written and might direct coming up in a year called, “Andrew Henry’s Meadow.”

Another Andrew?

Patterns…

Last Thoughts:

Did any one else find it overtly weird and Freudian Largeman in the midst of lurving Sam, hung out and talked emotionally in bath tub where his mother died while still holding her necklace?

What is the significance of the alligator imagery? Braff at one point is watching a nature program which shows an alligator attacking and eating an unsuspecting deer antelope creature. Later, Sam’s mom shows a video of her dressed up as an alligator ice-skating and Braff says, “You’re the alligator?”
What’s the connection? If Sam is the alligator, is Braff the deer whose head is about to be bit off?

This movie has been equated with “The Graduate” in saying it “speaks to a generation.” I just wanted to say for the record, it’s not talkin’ about my g-g-generation. I guess I can relate to the comfortably numb (oh my GOD how many more random pop culture references can I fit into this paragraph?) part of the Largeman experience, but- well I don’t know. Maybe. His character lived in a rather opulent circumstance, but was wholly disconnected from everything.
I think it’s an East Coast thing perhaps.
I just personally don’t want to believe my generation is so lucky and fortunate yet too callus to appreciate and too empty of real wealth to feel.
But maybe I can’t see the forest for the trees. Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt.

Anyhow. Yes. My 2 (hundred and 12) cents on these features. This weekend has been a movie sort of weekend. Here are some other films I have watched: “Open Water,” “Anchorman,” “I, Robot” and whatever the hell else my family has rented.

I have to be to bed. I’m not even going to bother reading this over. It’s 3.30 am and I am only rambling and Mabel the cat wants me to sleep now.

suddenly i was @ 04:34 am

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